I'm actually married, but a single friend of ours has a problem and I think this would be the best place to get advice.
My husband worked with this girl in her early 20s, who was living with her boyfriend. He was contolling and manipulative and would constantly put her down. He had her convinced that every problem they had was her fault to where she was on anti-depressants. My husband and I have gone out of our way to show her that how he is treating her is destructive, and that she is better off without him, that people who are like that are most likely to physically abuse if they don't think they can controll verbally any more. Well, she got a promotion in a different department, making more money, and started talking about leaving him. However, she went on a business trip and came back thinking that she would going to make their relationship work. When she came back, he grilled her on who she spent time with on her trip, didn't like her answers, and kicked her out of the apartment, breaking up with her.
She is staying with us for the time being, and after the weekend, I have insisted to my husband we sit and talk about a time frame in getting her into her own place. However, she is devestated and is begging him to take her back, even going as far as planning a romantic lunch and proposing marriage to him. When she is over here, she does nothing but cry and tell us how much of a screwup she is.
I have tried including her in stuff I have done in the last few nights, even inviting her out with my sister and I while my husband was working last night. I've invited her to spend Easter with me and my family (husband has to work -
), anything to provide a diversion to allow her some healing. She'll have none of it and I believe she is out even today to get him to take her back.
Ok, I know the living together before marriage thing is an issue, and I don't think she is a Christian, which is also an issue. What I want to work on right now, is getting her to see that she is better off, and get her to rebuild a social life of her own (I think he scared away all the friends she had), and to get her in her own place taking care of herself.
Do you have any suggestions?
My husband worked with this girl in her early 20s, who was living with her boyfriend. He was contolling and manipulative and would constantly put her down. He had her convinced that every problem they had was her fault to where she was on anti-depressants. My husband and I have gone out of our way to show her that how he is treating her is destructive, and that she is better off without him, that people who are like that are most likely to physically abuse if they don't think they can controll verbally any more. Well, she got a promotion in a different department, making more money, and started talking about leaving him. However, she went on a business trip and came back thinking that she would going to make their relationship work. When she came back, he grilled her on who she spent time with on her trip, didn't like her answers, and kicked her out of the apartment, breaking up with her.
She is staying with us for the time being, and after the weekend, I have insisted to my husband we sit and talk about a time frame in getting her into her own place. However, she is devestated and is begging him to take her back, even going as far as planning a romantic lunch and proposing marriage to him. When she is over here, she does nothing but cry and tell us how much of a screwup she is.
I have tried including her in stuff I have done in the last few nights, even inviting her out with my sister and I while my husband was working last night. I've invited her to spend Easter with me and my family (husband has to work -
), anything to provide a diversion to allow her some healing. She'll have none of it and I believe she is out even today to get him to take her back. Ok, I know the living together before marriage thing is an issue, and I don't think she is a Christian, which is also an issue. What I want to work on right now, is getting her to see that she is better off, and get her to rebuild a social life of her own (I think he scared away all the friends she had), and to get her in her own place taking care of herself.
Do you have any suggestions?
