How do I look to Jesus?

[Strong in Him]

Go look at my story in a nutshell post. I’m in a terrible spiritual predicament and it doesn’t even phase me at all.

It must concern you to some extent, or you wouldn't have joined a Christian Forum and have written at length about your failings.

I May have a mental illness I don’t know.

You could try to find out though - it might make a huge difference.

Still no excuse for for what I have done.

It might be an explanation, and help you to understand so that you don't repeat it.
Many, if not all, of us have done things that we regret - but all the agonising in the world won't change the past.

I only “regret” intellectually what I have done.

Well that's a start.
Don't rely on feelings. We don't all necessarily beat ourselves up, weep and wail or feel burning shame over our sins - we recognise that they were wrong, offended God and that nothing we can do will make us right with God.

I’m worse than the average sinner.

That sounds either like an admission that you are very bad - or is a matter of pride that you think you are worse than anyone else.

People think I’m crazy for saying that I having no conscience.

You have, but you don't FEEL that you have.

And maybe that is a Mental Health issue.

I’ve many opportunities to respond to God growing up but didn’t. I don’t really remember having guilt in my life at all.

That doesn't necessarily mean that you are unable to respond to God or be convinced that you have sinned and done wrong.

Again if this is mental illness it’s still no excuse for the things I have done.

Again, it may be an explanation.

I don't think that anyone would say to a new mother who was desperately miserable, or not able to feel anything and wanted someone to take her baby away, "you're just making excuses." On the contrary; doctors know that this isn't a normal response and there must be something wrong somewhere.
If depression/psychosis is then diagnosed, treatment can be started and the mother will understand there was a reason why she had those feelings.

I’m a hopeless case.

You're not.
Unless you ignore everything that people have written over several threads and the label of a "hopeless case" gives you an excuse not to try to get help.

 

[seeker1999-]

G

It must concern you to some extent, or you wouldn't have joined a Christian Forum and have written at length about your failings.

You could try to find out though - it might make a huge difference.


It might be an explanation, and help you to understand so that you don't repeat it.
Many, if not all, of us have done things that we regret - but all the agonising in the world won't change the past.


Well that's a start.
Don't rely on feelings. We don't all necessarily beat ourselves up, weep and wail or feel burning shame over our sins - we recognise that they were wrong, offended God and that nothing we can do will make us right with God.


That sounds either like an admission that you are very bad - or is a matter of pride that you think you are worse than anyone else.


You have, but you don't FEEL that you have.

And maybe that is a Mental Health issue.


That doesn't necessarily mean that you are unable to respond to God or be convinced that you have sinned and done wrong.

Again, it may be an explanation.

I don't think that anyone would say to a new mother who was desperately miserable, or not able to feel anything and wanted someone to take her baby away, "you're just making excuses." On the contrary; doctors know that this isn't a normal response and there must be something wrong somewhere.
If depression/psychosis is then diagnosed, treatment can be started and the mother will understand there was a reason why she had those feelings.


You're not.
Unless you ignore everything that people have written over several threads and the label of a "hopeless case" gives you an excuse not to try to get help.

Go read my story in a nutshell post. You’ll see what kind of predicament I am in.

 

[Strong in Him]

G

Go read my story in a nutshell post. You’ll see what kind of predicament I am in.

I've read your story - I said that in another thread.

 

[Strong in Him]

Go read my story in a nutshell post. You’ll see what kind of predicament I am in.

What is your response to post # 21?

 

[seeker1999-]

What is your response to post # 21?

Honestly I am using these forums as a vent for reassurance (attention seeking) rather than God himself.

 

[Strong in Him]

Honestly I am using these forums as a vent for reassurance (attention seeking) rather than God himself.

Asking for reassurance is one thing; attention seeking is something else entirely.

Do you actually want to look to Jesus? Do you believe what you've said in previous threads, when others have tried to reassure you, and suggest you check to see if you might have a Mental health problem? Or when they/we've made statements about God's love, and you've replied "I hope so"? Seriously, are you finding it hard to believe and accept that God could love someone with your background? Are you posting threads saying "I'm a reprobate/hopeless case/am doomed", just to get some attention - maybe because, sadly, attention from others is the nearest thing you have to affection?

 

[seeker1999-]

Asking for reassurance is one thing; attention seeking is something else entirely.

Do you actually want to look to Jesus? Do you believe what you've said in previous threads, when others have tried to reassure you, and suggest you check to see if you might have a Mental health problem? Or when they/we've made statements about God's love, and you've replied "I hope so"? Seriously, are you finding it hard to believe and accept that God could love someone with your background? Are you posting threads saying "I'm a reprobate/hopeless case/am doomed", just to get some attention - maybe because, sadly, attention from others is the nearest thing you have to affection?

Yes. I am trying to read about God over and over again but I forget about it in no time.

 

[Strong in Him]

Yes. I am trying to read about God over and over again but I forget about it in no time.

I don't know what you are reading, or what you forget, but just remember, God loves you and wants you to know him.