First comes grace, that means you have been saved if you have experienced the grace of God. For by grace are you saved through faith, and not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works,(lest any man should boast (Eph. 2:8-9)
When you come to God as a lost sinner, bringing nothing, and receiving everything from Him, then you have experienced the grace of God.
He offers you salvation, the gift of God is eternal life.
You can not work for a gift, and if you do, it ceases to be a gift, and it becomes something you have earned. It becomes a payment.
God is not patting you on the back because you are a nice person.
Salvation is God offering you, a lost hell-doomed sinner eternal life if you trust Christ. That is Grace
Where can we seek refuge when circumstances make us confused and hurt?
What gift brings light to our confusion, truth and joy to our woundedness?
Our faith stands not in the wisdom of men,
but in the power of God.
Do not keep back from Christ under the idea that you must come to him in a disinterested frame, and from an unselfish motive.
If you were right in this thing, who could be saved?
You are to come as you are; with all your bad motives, whatever these may be. Take all your bad motives, add them to the number of your sins, and bring them all to the altar where the great sacrifice is lying.
Go to the mercy seat. Tell the High Priest there, not
what you desire to be, nor what you ought to be, but what you are.
Tell him the honest truth as to your condition at this moment. Confess the impurity of your motives; all the evil that you feel or that you don't feel; your hard-heartedness, your blindness, your unteachableness.
Confess everything without reserve. He wants you to come to Him exactly as you are, and not to cherish the vain thought that, by a little waiting, or working, or praying, you can make yourself fit, or persuade Him to make you fit