L
LaurieMomof3
Guest
First off, I have to say that my Seth is a very happy little boy that has come a long way. And I am super proud of all that he has accomplished.
It would take a novel for me to pour out my heart about this, and indeed, I do have hundreds of pages of journal entries about my son since we found out about his developmental delays.
He has come so far, and is doing so well. He is 5 now, and just started Kindergarten. He is in a contained classroom with 6 other special needs kids. He only gets mainstreamed for art, music, PE, and I insisted he got mainstreamed for Language Arts, but after 3 days of school, they are hinting to me that it probably won't work for him.
His biggest problem is NOT learning disability, even though he does have speech therapy, and he has a lot of problems answering questions. He is smart, and knows most of the basics that other 5 year olds know. He can write the alphabet, both upper and lower case, his name, a few words, etc. He can write all the numbers and count to 30. He knows his shapes and colors.
But what is keeping him out of the mainstream classroom? His attitude. If he gets it in his head that he doesn't want to do something, he won't do it. And will throw a tantrum, or become defiant/oppositional. We noticed this trend with him early on, and at first we tiptoed around it - because he was a 2 year old that couldn't talk! Then at age 3, we figured out that we were not doing the right thing, but even through our efforts to be consistent with our rules and expectations, his strong will to prevail over us has survived.
Here is a typical example of his behavior:
A few weeks ago, I went to his Sunday School classroom to get him so we could go to church. He didn't want to go to church, but go straight to Children's Church. Well, CC doesn't get dismissed until the offering, and I wasn't going to leave him in the nursery. I am trying to get him to sit in the service just like the other kids his age. We have been working on this since September 2006, so it isn't a new thing. He threw a tantrum in the SS classroom, to which I pick him up and make him come to church. I have to drag him several times on the way. He then proceeds to lay down in the pew and kick his feet, howl, crawl off under the pews. When it is time to sing he yells NO SINGING! I can't remember what he finally did, but I had to take him out and punish him. I think he slapped the hymnal out of my hand. This last Sunday he was an angel. It comes and goes, and I can never predict an occurance.
So this is the stuff he will do whenever he has to do something he doesn't want to do. Which is what he did in Kindergarten today at lunchtime. And when they took him to music. They had to take him out of music because he disturbed the class so bad.
My husband and I pretty much make him do whatever it is he doesn't want to do at home, but he does react with ugliness, usually with defiant meaness, like blowing a raspberry in our face or something like that. But all in all, we are consistant with having him obey, depsite the attitude that he presents.
So...God made this child, and He made me the parent. WHY on earth can I not figure out how to get him to do stuff? I feel like I am failing him. This is just mostly a vent, because I have already covered my fears through prayer. I am just hoping there is another Christian out there that can relate to the uncertainy and am-I-doing-the-right-thingness to being a special needs parent.
It would take a novel for me to pour out my heart about this, and indeed, I do have hundreds of pages of journal entries about my son since we found out about his developmental delays.
He has come so far, and is doing so well. He is 5 now, and just started Kindergarten. He is in a contained classroom with 6 other special needs kids. He only gets mainstreamed for art, music, PE, and I insisted he got mainstreamed for Language Arts, but after 3 days of school, they are hinting to me that it probably won't work for him.
His biggest problem is NOT learning disability, even though he does have speech therapy, and he has a lot of problems answering questions. He is smart, and knows most of the basics that other 5 year olds know. He can write the alphabet, both upper and lower case, his name, a few words, etc. He can write all the numbers and count to 30. He knows his shapes and colors.
But what is keeping him out of the mainstream classroom? His attitude. If he gets it in his head that he doesn't want to do something, he won't do it. And will throw a tantrum, or become defiant/oppositional. We noticed this trend with him early on, and at first we tiptoed around it - because he was a 2 year old that couldn't talk! Then at age 3, we figured out that we were not doing the right thing, but even through our efforts to be consistent with our rules and expectations, his strong will to prevail over us has survived.
Here is a typical example of his behavior:
A few weeks ago, I went to his Sunday School classroom to get him so we could go to church. He didn't want to go to church, but go straight to Children's Church. Well, CC doesn't get dismissed until the offering, and I wasn't going to leave him in the nursery. I am trying to get him to sit in the service just like the other kids his age. We have been working on this since September 2006, so it isn't a new thing. He threw a tantrum in the SS classroom, to which I pick him up and make him come to church. I have to drag him several times on the way. He then proceeds to lay down in the pew and kick his feet, howl, crawl off under the pews. When it is time to sing he yells NO SINGING! I can't remember what he finally did, but I had to take him out and punish him. I think he slapped the hymnal out of my hand. This last Sunday he was an angel. It comes and goes, and I can never predict an occurance.
So this is the stuff he will do whenever he has to do something he doesn't want to do. Which is what he did in Kindergarten today at lunchtime. And when they took him to music. They had to take him out of music because he disturbed the class so bad.
My husband and I pretty much make him do whatever it is he doesn't want to do at home, but he does react with ugliness, usually with defiant meaness, like blowing a raspberry in our face or something like that. But all in all, we are consistant with having him obey, depsite the attitude that he presents.
So...God made this child, and He made me the parent. WHY on earth can I not figure out how to get him to do stuff? I feel like I am failing him. This is just mostly a vent, because I have already covered my fears through prayer. I am just hoping there is another Christian out there that can relate to the uncertainy and am-I-doing-the-right-thingness to being a special needs parent.
My son is autistic and sounds quite similar to your little guy. Mine is 11 yrs old and we still go through these phases. In general, he's a happy boy...but once he wants things HIS way...look out!
