Family Drama! my brother hates me...!

[justicef]

Hi everyone im Justice and im only 14.

I know that nobodies family is perfect but I feel like im fighting a war against my own blood, like if im having to sleep in a house and not a home, and that that house is full of demons trying to cause disaster between everyone. Yes, I Love my brother, sisters, mom and dad but what is going on! but the most important problem is my brother and the way he treats this family and to be honest im tired. I don't like to speak to much about what goes on in my family or anything personal but my brother who is 16 years old is all of these things that I don't picture a child of god being or doing he is a lair, manipulator, stubborn, ignorant, immature, ungrateful, mean and the worst is he NEVER listens to what anyone has to say more importantly he's scared of the TRUTH but you know what's strange it scares me more than anything and im only a kid whose two years younger than him, I find its weird to be scared of what my brother might become but I know its because I care for him more than anything, if only he knew. I can never have a conversation with him without him having to argue and always prove his point and he lies and lies and lies and make up things which I lie too but he lies about everything. He tells me to shut up and yells at me and worse of all he tries to make me scared of him and one thing I have to say to that is that is not! going to happen he must be out of his dang mind if he thinks so. He cusses me out constantly he calls me a bunch of names, when I mean I never endured this much from anyone else I mean it. I really don't like to judge him because honestly I still have my own problems and flaws but he is going to live a rebellious and destructive life if he continue this way I can see it. You know what he said to me once he wished I were dead... wow you can only imagine the pain I felt in my heart, in are relationship... He hates me... but no I will believe that, he still loves me no matter what and I will love him back no matter how many knives he throws but you know what I said to him and yes I know you except me to say the same he did but being mature I said "I wish you happiness, I wish you love, I wish you can live a long healthy life" but what if I were dead than how would he live happy without me... but sometimes he makes me not even want to talk to him and im just going to ignore him I guess. Being the loving and forgiving person that I must be I will pray for him and leave everything to Jesus and when he argues with me im just going to ignore him and move on but I still love him and I want the best for him. sorry for the long post but you can imagine how I feel right now.

Can anyone relate to this and can anyone give this kid some godly advice on the subject? there only so much I can do and say. Well God bless everyone

 

[SarahSaur]

Hi Justice, my names Sarah. I'm 16

It sounds like you're in quite the situation here and I'm sorry. No one should go through that.
I can relate, I have 2 older brothers(both in their 20's) their names are Adam and Matty. They're both moved out, but, growing up, Matty was so bad to me I now have anxiety. He would call me all sorts of names, lie to me(horrible things, like telling an 8 year old me, he heard zombies were coming on the news- growing up I hated zombies, petrified of them-) hence the anxiety.

He would do mean things to me, hit me, call me names, ect and then tell me not to tell our parents because I'd be a rat and no one would like me. So, I kept it all in. Actually, there was more than once I declared him dead to me because I was done with him. This was all wrong of me and I wish I realized it sooner. Once he moved out he got better but didn't stop completely. Now, when he starts I don't fuel his fire by talking back or getting worked up. I simply ignore him and let my parents deal with him.

Then, recently Adam would stay for long periods of time at my house and I would get no time to myself and my parents because he was ALWAYS here. And normally, no big deal right? Wrong, he was a big deal because he's got a mental condition that makes him paranoid and very...hmm how do I say... Immature I guess? He got the way because growing up he made bad decisions(drinking, drugs, straying from God, ect) He would ask for our opinion and then never listen to anything anyone said, he would do what he wanted to, lied, and would talk non stop. He gave me more than one panic attack because of this.
So, I prayed that God would take this situation and do what He sees fit, and Adam recently got a job(so now he has 2) and has been around less and less which is great and I can feel my anxiety going away.

So, with that being said, my advice is (if you haven't already) tell your parents/guardian! Tell them you're concerned and that he's being mean to you. I know that you may seem like a rat or a snitch but its worth it. It really is, especially if he's saying he wishes you were dead. That is not okay and you have to know that.

You also have to remember that, he is a teen(well we all are here but thats beside the point ) no matter what some teenagers just feel the need to rebel, I've been there and I've done that but it was a rough patch and I made it out of it. Heck, I almost ruined my family but with some discipline from my mother and God's guiding hand I made it out of it and I am growing up to be who God wants me to be.

For now I would pray for him. Sometimes you can only change you and it doesn't seem like it's you who needs to be changed. Just try and ignore him the best you can and stay away from him. I understand because you live in the same house- it's hard and you don't want to because you just want to make sure he's okay but it might be the best thing for now. Just turn the situation over to God and He'll fix it.

I hope I helped even the littlest. I also hope everything works out between you and your family. God bless you Justice

 

[siralex172]

Hi Justice, I am Alex and currently 17. I have two brothers, one older and one younger with a mom and Dad. I grew up with my older brother treating me like you guys explain, I know how you feel my bro used to try and intimidate me, tease me. Also he would complain about all the problems in our house. It really sucks for years when one of the people you look up to does this stuff. And I just had to give him less attention because he was such a bully. And I just avoided him a lot because he would just keep insiting on his own way and If he didnt get it he would be unpleasant.
He treats me better now, he doesn't like judge me or try to oppose me. It was really hard to forgive him but Jesus says forgive and you shall be forgiven.

Through those days It made me become more of a rock if you know what I mean lol. Like just ignoring the negativity, trying not to be shaken by the bad things. It also made me treat my younger brother better, I swore that I would never treat him the way I getting treated by my older brother.
Advice: Don't try to get caught up in the bad things your brother is doing, like don't judge him too much, let him do the bad things and he will pay for it. If he gets overwhelming, go to your other siblings and treat them nicely, and he will learn from this eventually.
Jesus can always help you, cast your worry onto him because he cares for you.

 

[justicef]

Hi Justice, I am Alex and currently 17. I have two brothers, one older and one younger with a mom and Dad. I grew up with my older brother treating me like you guys explain, I know how you feel my bro used to try and intimidate me, tease me. Also he would complain about all the problems in our house. It really sucks for years when one of the people you look up to does this stuff. And I just had to give him less attention because he was such a bully. And I just avoided him a lot because he would just keep insiting on his own way and If he didnt get it he would be unpleasant.
He treats me better now, he doesn't like judge me or try to oppose me. It was really hard to forgive him but Jesus says forgive and you shall be forgiven.

Through those days It made me become more of a rock if you know what I mean lol. Like just ignoring the negativity, trying not to be shaken by the bad things. It also made me treat my younger brother better, I swore that I would never treat him the way I getting treated by my older brother.
Advice: Don't try to get caught up in the bad things your brother is doing, like don't judge him too much, let him do the bad things and he will pay for it. If he gets overwhelming, go to your other siblings and treat them nicely, and he will learn from this eventually.
Jesus can always help you, cast your worry onto him because he cares for you.

Thank you for the advice! I am so grateful for your story it let's me know I'm not the only one and that this is something we can all get closure on together. And I'm definitely going to forgive and let him do what he does. Thanks again and god bless!