Emotional Abuse

[Livingstones2020]

My friend that I have known for 15 years or so, has a major problem. He is handicap with Cerebral Palsy, which he has to walk with crutches. He is over 60 and lives by himself in an apartment. To make a long story short, his "friend" was homeless a few years ago. It was at wintertime, and he doesn't want her to be out in the winter and in the cold. He invited her to live in his apartment for 3 months, and pretty much, his relationship with the friend fell apart. She has been yelling at him constantly and even threatening him. I heard her threaten harm to him over a phone call once, and I was about to report it to the police. After the 3 months, he finally kicked her out.

But ever since then, she has been calling and texting him. She has been making false accusations of him, even making YouTube videos about him. Today, I was taking him home in my car, and he says that his friend wanted him to move boxes from one apartment to the next. But just then, she called him and begins to curse him out. I told her that I do not want her to call back and keep harassing him. I actually just hung up the phone for him. He says that he knows that he got to distance himself from her, but he doesn't want to. And this is not just one time. She has been calling him at 1 or 2 in the morning, repeatedly, to curse him out. Any advice can I give to him? I even said to his friend on the phone that this can be a sign of harassment, but she clearly doesn't see it.

 

[linux.poet]

Disconnect the phone and get a new phone number, and inform the police as a precaution I guess. Mostly I think this woman is just annoying and will go away when her phone tirades don’t work. The key in these sorts of situations is to not reward the abuser’s bad behavior, and eventually she will stop or move on to a new victim.

 

[turkle]

He says that he knows that he got to distance himself from her, but he doesn't want to.

You said it yourself: he doesn't want to. You can't force someone to do what you want them to do. You have told him that this is abusive behavior, you are supporting him, and you are doing all you can do. In the end, the choice is his.

 

[com7fy8]

Pray so this does not have power over you to control your attention. And make sure you are first attentive to Jesus and obeying Him in His "rest for your souls" (in Matthew 11:29).

And get wise to other ways you can get distracted.

And pray for both these people, with hope for them . . . not only for how you can control a wrong person, but how God is able to do them good.

 

[Diamond7]

He invited her to live in his apartment for 3 months

I had a house once and allowed friends to stay there because there was plenty of room for them. It was an unbelievable disaster. They brought things into the home that no one would want in their home. I ended up having to shut the house down and sell it.