Do you fellas get any dicipleship/ sermons on sex etc?

[wannabeswat]

Just wondering-

At church/youth group, whatever, does your minister/pastor preach on things of that nature??? I'm not really talking about accountablitiy, but if that's where this goes i'm not fussed

This just came up because because an australian guy came and took a mens event on 'the battles men face' for both men and women, and he mentioned many guys never get to seriously talk and learn about this stuff....

so, share away!
(i just did that smilie cos it looked funny...haha)

 

[tpk]

lol. well, not at my new youth group. I don't think my youth pastor is comfortable talking about that stuff, tbh. But at my old youth group, yeah we got a few of those talks.

 

[wannabeswat]

lol. well, not at my new youth group. I don't think my youth pastor is comfortable talking about that stuff, tbh. But at my old youth group, yeah we got a few of those talks.

haha yip.

Do you reckon they should talk about it? or is it the role of someone else? idk...eg fathers/older folk who we are closer too? (not that my dad has ever done it lol, he said 'ask me if you want to know anything/talk about something' i i've always felt to awkward to do it, apart from once which was good but now even more awkward)

 

[tpk]

Well, I don't think it's their sole responsibility. I know school and family take care of it as well. But as far as giving the biblical side of it all, I think it is important for youth groups to at least mention it every so often. What's your take?

 

[wannabeswat]

Yea i agree with you. It's important someone does it so society doesn't implant it's views aye.

our church does every so often, usually to no avail, but they've done a few mens things recently that have been good. "valiant men" was a 6 week course aimed at controlling yourself and understanding it all, i didn't go, because at the time i was doing fine at thought filling my mind with those things wouldn't help me...typical male i don't need help thing haha...wish i went now...

Who's had the most influence in that domain in your life, tpk?

 

[tpk]

i dunno... probably my dad.

 

[pressingon17]

Yep at my new church and youth group we do,we got 3 youth lessons on it.lol

 

[wannabeswat]

Yep at my new church and youth group we do,we got 3 youth lessons on it.lol

Sweet- Were they helpful and all that? Was it a general overview or did you split up into boy/girl groups and talk a bit deeper?

 

[bennyk]

haha yip.

Do you reckon they should talk about it? or is it the role of someone else? idk...eg fathers/older folk who we are closer too? (not that my dad has ever done it lol, he said 'ask me if you want to know anything/talk about something' i i've always felt to awkward to do it, apart from once which was good but now even more awkward)

I think it is important to remember that it is the father's responsibility first and foremost when it comes to spiritual education, training, and discipleship of the child. Youth groups have not been around for more than century (I think, maybe 150 years tops) and the biblical way (in my humble opinion) is that the father would be teaching the son these sorts of things.

I am not outright against youth groups, I think they can be great. However, a very damaging consequence of youth groups and sunday school and the like has been that parents feel because their children are in youth groups or sunday school that they no longer have to take it upon themselves to disciple their children.

First and foremost it is on the father to teach his son about spiritual things, and to disciple him. A youth pastor should never take that place.

Again, I don't want to sound like I am against youth groups, because they can absolutely be a blessing and can really help a lot. However, we must remember that it is the father who is supposed to teach primarily, and youth group might take a supplementary or complementary role.

God bless,
--Ben

 

[wannabeswat]

a very damaging consequence of youth groups and sunday school and the like has been that parents feel because their children are in youth groups or sunday school that they no longer have to take it upon themselves to disciple their children.

Good call, that is very true!!

First and foremost it is on the father to teach his son about spiritual things, and to disciple him. A youth pastor should never take that place.

I agree the father/parents should teach, but i don't see many that do, so is youth group ok to start taking that place for them?? Many of the parents of the guys in my group are split families, some alcoholic parents, and general terrible role models let alone spiritual coaches.

I totally agree it's the way it should happen, but it just doesn't for most. I think as the kingdom grows, tradition will have to take a back seat.

My kids (as in my youth grouop kids, lol) will get no help from their parents, so if they want to grow at all something's going to need to help....
What are your thoughts?

 

[bennyk]

Good call, that is very true!!



I agree the father/parents should teach, but i don't see many that do, so is youth group ok to start taking that place for them?? Many of the parents of the guys in my group are split families, some alcoholic parents, and general terrible role models let alone spiritual coaches.

I totally agree it's the way it should happen, but it just doesn't for most. I think as the kingdom grows, tradition will have to take a back seat.

My kids (as in my youth grouop kids, lol) will get no help from their parents, so if they want to grow at all something's going to need to help....
What are your thoughts?

You raise a good point. Indeed, what I proposed was the way it should happen, like you mentioned. And so we must always strive after that, first and foremost.

However, because not everything is ideal, as we know, it won't always work. And in the cases that you mentioned (broken families, parents that simply will not take a spiritual leadership role in teaching/discipling their children, or if they are even unbelievers) the church can be a big help to them.

In those situations, I would say as a youth leader it would be ideal, to encourage the parents to take an active role in discipling their kids, and to work with them if they really don't know where to start. But, if even then the parents want nothing to do with it, then it can be a powerfully impactful blessing for that kid to have a godly youth group and youth leaders in the church.

So in short I would say, always encourage and strive after the biblical model that we have, but certainly be there as a godly group and leadership for the kid if that biblical model just isn't there for him in his family.

Ideally youth group should be something to help foster the biblical model for the family, and certainly for the youth's role in the family (Ephesians 6:1 "obey your parents in the Lord"), and to really help the youth grow in godliness.

God bless you brother, and I pray that God would give you grace in your work with youth, it is quite an impactful place to be, and I pray He would bless your work
--Ben

 

[wannabeswat]

Thanks man!! Yea I aggree, it's tough huh, but we wouldn't have summer without winter I like your thinking. I will encourage it in our household, and at church etc like you mentioned.

 

[Wedjat]

My church has a program called OWL (Our Whole Lives). It get's um... rather in-depth, definitely not standard abstinence only stuff. Suffice to say that going over exactly what is in the OWL program would not be considered appropriate discussion on CF.

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

Well once at my old youth group, I was alone with the guys, so I told them that I struggled with thinking about girls. Then suddenly they were all confessing about their own problems, I guess many guys struggle with this and I guess they don’t know that other guys struggle with it too.

 

[DMMullinax]

At my school we actually have a whole quater in our Bible class devoted to purity. We watch a lot of sermons on purity, a whole bunch from Ed Young who's done multiple series on the subject and battleing lust, pornography. It's extremely enlightening and encouraging. One of the many perks to Christian school.

 

[JohnyPoppacapolis]

My pastor is doing an entire sermon series and my youth group mirrors the main service.

 

[sniperelite7]

My youth group once did a special on self pleasuring and lust when i was young. This essentially led to myself being ripped apart spiritually because apparently God had chosen to curse me with sexual feelings. Yeah right. A couple years later I wizened up and consulted the word myself and to my surprise, found that the Bible wasn't as puritanical as I thought it was.

So yes my Church has covered it. Irresponsiblly. Basically it was hey your boy and you like girls. Thats evil. Discussion over. Totally ignoring the fact that I had become a sexual being when I hit adolescence, that in order for me to be sexual at all I would have to wait till marriage. Which was what? 10 years down the line?

So after struggling for awhile against this "demon" of sexuality I consulted my spiritual and earthly fathers. Who both essentially said "What is wrong with you? No. Nothing. Nothing at all."

 

[branchofthevine]

No one talked to me about this stuff. I kind of had to find out a solution for myself, and only by the Grace of God did I ever find a solution. Albeit it probably isn't what is being taught in most Churches today. I find that when I focus my eyes on Jesus, it isn't a problem.

 

[HarborOrange]

Nah, not really... But I don't go to church at all. I deal with it myself, I guess... I'm just fortunate that I have really high expectations for myself, or I'd really struggle.
I, however, did receive 'education' in a Boy's Health class at my old school. It was Lutheran school, but the class was essentially sex ed... So, I didn't learn much there...

 

[grandvizier1006]

I think it is important to remember that it is the father's responsibility first and foremost when it comes to spiritual education, training, and discipleship of the child. Youth groups have not been around for more than century (I think, maybe 150 years tops) and the biblical way (in my humble opinion) is that the father would be teaching the son these sorts of things.

I am not outright against youth groups, I think they can be great. However, a very damaging consequence of youth groups and sunday school and the like has been that parents feel because their children are in youth groups or sunday school that they no longer have to take it upon themselves to disciple their children.

First and foremost it is on the father to teach his son about spiritual things, and to disciple him. A youth pastor should never take that place.

Again, I don't want to sound like I am against youth groups, because they can absolutely be a blessing and can really help a lot. However, we must remember that it is the father who is supposed to teach primarily, and youth group might take a supplementary or complementary role.

God bless,
--Ben

I agree, the father should really be the one to talk about sexuality with his son. I'd definitely want to do that with my sons if I had them, considering that my own sexuality was pretty messed up and repressed for a while.