Yes, Grinning Dwarf, I see your point about defining Total Depravity. But I assume that we all agree that the unregenerate person tends to be deluded and deceived about matters relating to Jesus' death.
My point is simply that the unregenerate person can dupe himself into believing that Jesus died for him--and this is specifically true within the Calvinist system which teaches that Jesus only died for the elect.
Since no one seems interested in answering the question as to how a Calvinist knows that Jesus died for him, one might construe this in itself as a tacit surrendering of the field.
Of course, this really doesn't suggest anyone's surrendering, but if someone wants to deal with the specific question of how a Calvinist knows Jesus died for him, then I'll come back and play some more soccer on this field. Otherwise, I'll focus on the other thread.
I assume you're not a universalist?
So what good does dying for sins do? It doesn't appear to save you, because you're not a universalist. You haven't established some kind of offer or peace with God, because the moment you do, you have to admit that Calvinists and arminians both hold to this offer. That's what John 3:16 says.
Your question is actually answered there. And since it's the most commonly known verse of the Bible, and since you know it's in every Calvinist's Bible, and since you know both Calvinists and arminians hold to it -- why would you ask about such an apparent point?
People aren't saved in other systems by Jesus' dying for them. They're saved by their faith in Jesus Christ. So there's no assurance in the fact that Jesus died for them.
People
are saved in the Calvinist's view by Jesus' dying for them. It's
accomplished there. They receive
application of that salvation through their faith in Jesus Christ. So there's assurance among Calvinists -- because
everyone Jesus died for comes to faith and is saved.
But ... you knew this, taking all those classes from Calvinists.
The knowledge that "Jesus died for me" is clear to me because I have relied in Him. Frankly, how couldn't I rely in One I knew had saved me, 2000 years ago? I'm promised my God is trustworthy even if I'm untrustworthy. That's a boundless assurance I can't defy. Nothing separates me from Him.
The knowledge that "Jesus died for me" is apparent to an arminian because of the idea that He died for everyone. But that didn't save anyone -- it also took the arminian's faith.
I say just by dying He saved me. Practically speaking He works out my faith. The arminian must conclude that Jesus' dying didn't save him -- or anyone. He simply made salvation possible for those who ante up their faith in Him.
But what if they lose their faith in Him? Often they think they've lost their salvation. That's not very much assurance. When it's in me, and when I can't control my will to hang onto Jesus, then I'm lost. I can do without that assurance -- in its entirety.