Conversions to Orthodoxy

[Melily]

welcome! do stick around!

Thank you! Will do.

 

[Lawrence87]

My conversion is a long story that if told in full would essentially be my entire life story. However, the short(ish) version goes like this.

Having experimented with different philophies I eventually wound up in a position where my spiritual life incorporated ideas from occultism, Buddhism, and Ram Dass and his ilk. This eclectic mixture is often enough to sustain people in a lifelong spiritual buffet, but for me it failed for two reasons. Firstly because I want to know what is actually true, not just what I like the sound of, and secondly because it wasn't working. No matter how hard I meditated, or how much I recited mantras I did not feel the peace that I had so desperately sought my entire life.

Eventually I became embroiled in a weird schitzoid spiritual crisis. I could not decide whether the more secular teachings of Theravada Buddhism were for me, or whether the more devotional Ram Dass/Bhagavad Gita stuff was the route to go down. With no means for discerning for myself which was true I ended up in quite a bad state, spiritually. Sometimes I would go out in the morning deciding to be a Buddhist, and switch midday to chanting 'Ram, Ram, Ram' (a Hindu devotional practise). I knew I couldn't go on in this state. I felt some affinity with both at the time, but also ill at ease in both too.

I began to feel at a loss for how to decide in this bizarre dichotomy that I had conjured up for myself. Eventually I decided to haphazardly conduct at ritual, during which I fumbled around doing things that seemed reverent and spiritual, I wrote my intentions on a piece of paper, and made bows, I meditated, lit incense, offered fruit in a bowl upon my altar. I essentially asked whatever powers out there there might be to guide me to the truth with a dream that would confirm things for me. I almost didn't expect that this would achieve anything, but it was a testament to how desperate I was feeling.

That night I had a very powerfully symbolic dream. Images of giant fish (we all know what this is a symbol of). Allusions to being trapped in the Lotus (a prominent symbol in Indian spirituality). The most startling moment came at the end of the dream, a voice clearly and unequivocally said "you will find answers in Christ." This astonished me, not only because my prayer was answered, but because it was not in any way the kind of answer I would have volunteered for myself at the time. At that point my only real relationship with Christ was one of rejection, I had been an atheist and devoted quite a lot of time to refuting Him in my earlier life. So not only was my haphazard prayer answered, it was answered in a way that did not appear to have come from me. Thus, I took the experience seriously.

I began to read the Gospels, I quickly encountered Orthodoxy and was impressed by it's mysticism. However there was one stumbling block for me; I could not bring myself to accept the historical claims made by Christianity. Specifically the resurrection. And so, I decided to put the matter aside. I began to drift back into Buddhism again, mostly because I don't think I can live without something spiritual in my life, and also I think at that point I was not ready to accept the implications of my experience.

My brother, having not heard anything about my experience began to talk to me about his conversion to Orthodoxy. After a conversation with him, my experience was brought to the forefront of my mind, and I began to contemplate the stumbling block that I had enountered. I realised that I did take the experience seriously, as it appeared not to have come from me, and that if I were to accept that this experience came from the true God then I could also accept that Christ rose from the dead. I didn't need to hold on to my secular scepticism in regard to that if I was willing to reject it in regard to my dream experience. And so I began to accept Christ... And to cut a long story short I was baptised last month with St. Lawrence of Rome as my patron (hence my username).

I cannot think why God granted me the grace to have such a profound experience. I can only think that it was through the prayers of my Christian parents, and perhaps in part due to my ardent desire to know the Truth, which due to my ignorance had led me far from God, but through His grace He saw that I was seeking and He, in His great mercy, saw fit to set me aright in my journey. I have found so much strength in Christ, and I have grown a lot as a person. Everything since my conversion has affirmed Orthodoxy for me as the True Church.

Thanks for reading and God bless!

 

[ArmyMatt]

thanks for sharing!

 

[Melily]

@Lawrence87, that’s a beautiful conversion.

 

[Lukaris]

It is nice to observe these testimonies in this part of TAW. Many people have made many of the same & blessed testimony elsewhere in TAW also over time also. Both situations are truly a blessed thing.

 

[Vesper_Jaye✝️]

SO glad I found this thread (it’s sticky so I have no idea how I hadn’t found it earlier)!

Maybe one day I’ll be able to add my own conversion story

 

[ArmyMatt]

SO glad I found this thread (it’s sticky so I have no idea how I hadn’t found it earlier)!

Maybe one day I’ll be able to add my own conversion story

please do!

 

[Andrew.H]

I'm new to the forums and felt like this was the proper place to say hello to the Orthodox side here. Pavel Mosko invited me to and to say hello to Fr. Matt so here I am and hello everyone.

I'm a catechumen of the American Carpatho-russian Orthodox Diocese. I attend a mission church in NW Georgia and will be baptized and chrismated this coming Palm Sunday long with 6 or 7 others.

It's been a bit of a ride getting to this point. I've been agnostic most all of my life. I spoke about this with my priest but I'll share it here; what started me on my path was an instance of sleep paralysis. During this time I saw something I couldn't explain but that I knew instinctively wanted to hurt me. It wasn't the last time that would happen but it was the most terrifying experience I had ever encountered (I was in the army at the time at fort hood).

At that point I started contemplating a lot of things regarding the world we live in. That maybe our eyes or our minds aren't enough to truly process everything around us. I began to delve into the various spiritual disciplines to try and make sense of things.

I had abandoned Christianity in my youth for typical reasons. I was raised baptist in the deep South and just couldn't reconcile the shallowness or rootlessness of it. It felt more like people saw God as a kind of genie to fulfill their wishes. And I couldn't see myself embracing Catholicism either for various other reasons. I had never even heard of Orthodoxy.

When I stumbled across Orthodoxy, I felt like I fell into an ocean. The enormity and completeness of it shook me. I was captivated and couldn't get nearly enough of what I was hearing/seeing/reading. Everywhere western Christianity fell short, Orthodoxy filled in. Since then, during a personal crisis, felt it was time to step into a parish. When I did, I immediately knew I was home. I belonged here and I wanted to do everything I could to be a part of this place and make it grow. I'm grateful I'm not the only one in my parish who feels that way and we are blessed with many who see the parish as a kind of village unto itself.

Anyway, I'm grateful to be a part of Orthodoxy and I just wanted to share my on little strange tale of how I got here.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Pavel Mosko invited me to and to say hello to Fr. Matt so here I am and hello everyone.

hello!

 

[prodromos]

I'm new to the forums and felt like this was the proper place to say hello to the Orthodox side here. Pavel Mosko invited me to and to say hello to Fr. Matt so here I am and hello everyone.

I'm a catechumen of the American Carpatho-russian Orthodox Diocese. I attend a mission church in NW Georgia and will be baptized and chrismated this coming Palm Sunday long with 6 or 7 others.

It's been a bit of a ride getting to this point. I've been agnostic most all of my life. I spoke about this with my priest but I'll share it here; what started me on my path was an instance of sleep paralysis. During this time I saw something I couldn't explain but that I knew instinctively wanted to hurt me. It wasn't the last time that would happen but it was the most terrifying experience I had ever encountered (I was in the army at the time at fort hood).

At that point I started contemplating a lot of things regarding the world we live in. That maybe our eyes or our minds aren't enough to truly process everything around us. I began to delve into the various spiritual disciplines to try and make sense of things.

I had abandoned Christianity in my youth for typical reasons. I was raised baptist in the deep South and just couldn't reconcile the shallowness or rootlessness of it. It felt more like people saw God as a kind of genie to fulfill their wishes. And I couldn't see myself embracing Catholicism either for various other reasons. I had never even heard of Orthodoxy.

When I stumbled across Orthodoxy, I felt like I fell into an ocean. The enormity and completeness of it shook me. I was captivated and couldn't get nearly enough of what I was hearing/seeing/reading. Everywhere western Christianity fell short, Orthodoxy filled in. Since then, during a personal crisis, felt it was time to step into a parish. When I did, I immediately knew I was home. I belonged here and I wanted to do everything I could to be a part of this place and make it grow. I'm grateful I'm not the only one in my parish who feels that way and we are blessed with many who see the parish as a kind of village unto itself.

Anyway, I'm grateful to be a part of Orthodoxy and I just wanted to share my on little strange tale of how I got here.

I wonder if you have ever bumped into a James Lillie and his family in your Carpatho-russian travels? He is ordained as a priest now and I don't know if he was given a new name at his ordination. He used to be a lawyer before giving it up for the priesthood. He was a regular here under the name of Iacobus. We had another member here who was from Georgia who went by the name Oblio. His parish was St Innocent's in Macon.
We had the pleasure of meeting both of them when they each made a pilgrimage to Mt Athos in Greece where we were living at the time (Greece, not Mt Athos)

 

[Andrew.H]

I wonder if you have ever bumped into a James Lillie and his family in your Carpatho-russian travels? He is ordained as a priest now and I don't know if he was given a new name at his ordination. He used to be a lawyer before giving it up for the priesthood. He was a regular here under the name of Iacobus. We had another member here who was from Georgia who went by the name Oblio. His parish was St Innocent's in Macon.
We had the pleasure of meeting both of them when they each made a pilgrimage to Mt Athos in Greece where we were living at the time (Greece, not Mt Athos)

The name James Lillie sounds terribly familiar but I can't quite place it. I will say my church is quite remote from the rest of the diocese, the next closest church is in Murphy NC and the next past that is either FL or WV. Thus, I haven't interacted that much with others from different parishes inside the diocese.

I've branched out a little to visit other parishes but I didn't want to get too distracted and feel like I was shopping around. I've only visited those "near" me except for the monastery in Resaca.

 

[prodromos]

The name James Lillie sounds terribly familiar but I can't quite place it.

He used to have a blog called "minor clergy", and before that another called "evlogeite" where he talked about his journey to Orthodoxy. Both have since fallen off the internet as his responsibilities as clergy left him little time for blogging. I remember that he lived out in the mountains but it may not have been Georgia. I also misremembered about him leaving law. I think he is still a lawyer, but he had withdrawn from ever being selected to become a judge, which is something he said every lawyer aspires to becoming.

 

[Uriah S]

My testimony has parallels with Post #682, though my mixture of 'faiths' was different. Everything began to change after some things I saw on youtube. There were no sudden changes, no road-to-Damascus moment, but a steady march into Faith like I recognised it is home. I was as surprised as anyone that life had taken such a 180-degree turn. I like the idea that a relative I had recently reconnected with had prayed for me.

Though technically I am still Lutheran, that's one place I wandered away from into my 25-years of wilderness. I now go to a Baptist church, which is not the same as being a Baptist. My re-found faith has always leaned heavily towards Judaism. I'm not about to convert to Judaism, even in a messianic context, but I do my best to keep the Jewish festivals and Saturday sabbath.

But so, Orthodoxy, we've skirted round each other as long as I remember. Three years ago I attended my first actual service at the Caves Lavra in Kyiv (there was another time in 1991, but I didn't get into that church, it was so crowded). Something has been pulling at me ever since. Over the past Winter I thought I was headed for conversion for sure. One obstacle has been that the nearest Orthodox churches are some 4 hours away, so regular attendance isn't so easy, and I was faced with a choice between jurisdictions, so, which? I had more or less made a decision which way to go, when Russia went into Ukraine and that further complicated things.

By the way, following threads here helped me think things through, which was why I was lurking on the boards so much.

More recently, I've now made contact with one of the churches, and spent some time with the Fathers there. I still don't know if I will convert to Orthodox, but I'm fairly sure I'll continue to visit TAW. There are a couple of issues I need to spend more time thinking about, and it helps to read some dialogue before talking to a priest about them.

So this isn't a conversion story, yet. But I'll let it stand as an introduction so if I start popping up in discussions, at least I won't seem so random a stranger.

 

[ArmyMatt]

My testimony has parallels with Post #682, though my mixture of 'faiths' was different. Everything began to change after some things I saw on youtube. There were no sudden changes, no road-to-Damascus moment, but a steady march into Faith like I recognised it is home. I was as surprised as anyone that life had taken such a 180-degree turn. I like the idea that a relative I had recently reconnected with had prayed for me.

Though technically I am still Lutheran, that's one place I wandered away from into my 25-years of wilderness. I now go to a Baptist church, which is not the same as being a Baptist. My re-found faith has always leaned heavily towards Judaism. I'm not about to convert to Judaism, even in a messianic context, but I do my best to keep the Jewish festivals and Saturday sabbath.

But so, Orthodoxy, we've skirted round each other as long as I remember. Three years ago I attended my first actual service at the Caves Lavra in Kyiv (there was another time in 1991, but I didn't get into that church, it was so crowded). Something has been pulling at me ever since. Over the past Winter I thought I was headed for conversion for sure. One obstacle has been that the nearest Orthodox churches are some 4 hours away, so regular attendance isn't so easy, and I was faced with a choice between jurisdictions, so, which? I had more or less made a decision which way to go, when Russia went into Ukraine and that further complicated things.

By the way, following threads here helped me think things through, which was why I was lurking on the boards so much.

More recently, I've now made contact with one of the churches, and spent some time with the Fathers there. I still don't know if I will convert to Orthodox, but I'm fairly sure I'll continue to visit TAW. There are a couple of issues I need to spend more time thinking about, and it helps to read some dialogue before talking to a priest about them.

So this isn't a conversion story, yet. But I'll let it stand as an introduction so if I start popping up in discussions, at least I won't seem so random a stranger.

welcome and please keep us in the loop!

 

[Uriah S]

Thank you Father. With the slowly-slowly approach it's not easy to quantify progress. Any big milestones should be easier to identify!

 

[ArmyMatt]

Thank you Father. With the slowly-slowly approach it's not easy to quantify progress. Any big milestones should be easier to identify!

it can take a bit, but I think any moments that really clarify something, and of course when you are received would count as progress.

 

[Uriah S]

There were already a few moments that clarified things.
That balmy Summer evening at the Caves Lavra, I thought I was sightseeing with a bit of ecclesial tourism thrown in. The light, the imagery, the gold, the sounds. While I understood only the basics of what was going on, I also understood I didn't want to leave, ever.
The days I spent hanging around the Lavra next time I was in town, and all the other places I went, trying to get a hold of something I knew was there.
The way the Spirit led me to this church closer to home, and just how normal it felt to hang out with folks after the liturgy.

There are some biggies too. Coming from where I was at, just being in a building with icons would be a step too far for many that I currently worship with. From there, getting to a place where I'm comfortable with praying to saints has been a journey.

There is still a way to go, but one thing I know, the Spirit doesn't lead people along a path for no reason.

 

[ArmyMatt]

praise God!

 

[Melista]

Our reception is less than 48 hours away! I was curious if anyone has any tips on how to best prepare?

 

[ArmyMatt]

Our reception is less than 48 hours away! I was curious if anyone has any tips on how to best prepare?

praise God! just pray as you come home to the Church.