Confused

[KCK]

I have some questions regarding physical interactions with ladies.
​

If I sweep them off the floor, give them a kiss in their forehead and caresssing their hair is considered lusting? I though lusting was actually thinking of having sexual desires of them, but I'm not thinking about any of it when I talk to them. So it is still considered lust?

 

[graciesings]

Well... if you aren't thinking about sex when you talk with a girl, then talking with her isn't considered lust.

As for kissing and caressing and holding... I DARE you to try doing that without lusting.

I think that if you can do it without thinking about sex then it isn't lustful.

However, I would warn you to be careful. Not all girls are this way, but some girls really struggle with their sexual desires and you don't want to make their Christian walk harder by getting physical with them. So a lot of it depends on you, and the girl... you don't want your actions to encourage either of you to lust after each other.

sorry if this isn't clear, I'm tired. I'll edit in the AM.

 

[NamelessHero]

Technically no.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

You can have romantic attraction and affection for someone without having a strong sexual desire for him or her. I think it's adorably sweet that you want to sweep girls off their feet and kiss their foreheads and caress their hair. I LOVE having my hair played with by my boyfriend. It's so relaxing!!!! As long as the girl is receptive to that attention, go for it!!!!!

 

[Charbel7]

You can have romantic attraction and affection for someone without having a strong sexual desire for her. I think it's adorably sweet that you want to sweep girls off their feet and kiss their foreheads and caress their hair. I LOVE having my hair played with by my boyfriend. It's so relaxing!!!! As long as the girl is receptive to that attention, go for it!!!!!

Every time you reply to a thread i fall off the chair you are seriously funny LOL.

 

[iAlive]

Take heed to what graciesings has said. I agree with it.

talking with someone of the opposite gender isn't wrong, but lusting after them, clearly, is. But when you have close, romantic interactions with the opposite gender, you will be putting himself in a position to lust. It is a carnal desire that can be a real weakness for some people, just as alcohol abuse is to others.

Another thing: don't be sending messages to girls if you're not looking to get into a relationship. I encourage you to really study what the Bible has to say about relationships and the responsibilities of men before you try "sending Morse code over the wire". Besides.. you're young. Enjoy your youth, finish school, and grow in the Word of God.

 

[KCK]

I just don't get it. You mean that if had some close interactions with the opposite gender this means I become lust? How can I avoid that?

 

[graciesings]

I just don't get it. You mean that if had some close interactions with the opposite gender this means I become lust? How can I avoid that?

Well, close interactions with the opposite gender don't mean you're lusting. But they are likely to give you lustful thoughts even if you didn't have those lustful thoughts to start with.

 

[protonbunny]

I agree with Atremis97 on this.

 

[grandvizier1006]

I wouldn't recommend doing this to someone who isn't your girlfriend. Get into a relationship with some girl first before doing something like that, when she'd be a bit more comfortable with you doing that to her. It just comes off as rather lustful and dirty, even if your intentions are more romantic.

In your relationship, of course, be sure to evaluate your feelings very carefully. For example, imagine that this girl was sexually "off-limits" to you for, say, 10 years. Would you still want to be in a relationship with her even if it meant no sex? Chances are you'd say yes, so it wouldn't be so bad.

 

[siralex172]

I reckon its fine as Visier says as long as youre in a relationship with girl. If ur doing it to different girls you know thats probably not good as you'd be driven by lust most of the time. I can see how it would make you feel nice doing it, try to learn to control these things then it will be worth it.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

Most people have their own rules as to what counts as acceptable interactions with the opposite gender, some girls may find hair touching and forehead kissing to be too forward, but some others may love it. It takes a person who can read non-verbal cues really well to note which girls are into it and which aren't. I personally love it.

 

[The Portuguese Baptist]

I have some questions regarding physical interactions with ladies.
​

If I sweep them off the floor, give them a kiss in their forehead and caresssing their hair is considered lusting? I though lusting was actually thinking of having sexual desires of them, but I'm not thinking about any of it when I talk to them. So it is still considered lust?

Be careful. There is a fine line between acceptable physical contact and sexual physical contact. Some forms of contact are OK, since they may demonstrate care and concern for the other person, express an appreciation for her beauty and be quite comforting for her. Other forms of contact, however, may create illicit sexual excitement and tempt you to ‘go further’ and break the absolute line of premarital sex.

Where do you draw the line? Well, this is relative, and may vary from person to person. I believe that a good set of principles may help you avoid improper behaviour and thoughts. I suggest the following:

• Do not touch her breasts or her buttocks;
• Avoid staring at her breasts or at her buttocks;
• Favour touching her face and hair over any lower areas;
• Avoid caressing for too long;
• Avoid kissing or caressing outside her face;
• Do not make physical contact the focus of your dates or the main reason why you like to be with her;
• Think more often about her personality than about her physical beauty;
• Remember that you owe her honour and respect;
• Remember that you owe God honour and respect;
• Pray (alone and together), in the beginning of your dates, that you may be able to resist temptation.

I hope that this may help.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

It does