Caring for my grieving wife...

[OceanPoet87]

We learned yesterday that my sister-in-law, who was 5 days past her 22nd(!) birthday died in her sleep. It was a shock since she had no serious health problems. My wife with our 1 yr old, and I have been separated for the past week or so due to regularly scheduled trips on opposite sides of the country. Our communication has been basic and I don't wish to overwhelm her any more than she already is. We are meeting up again tomorrow night (Mon) at our local airport and I have no idea how to care for her during this tragedy. My sister-in-law was the sweetest, most joyful woman of God you would ever know. My wife and her were very close. What are ways that you have loved your spouse during their time of grief? How has He given you and your family strength during sad times? I still have to work a lot and I won't be able to spend much time with her except at the funeral (tbd) and on Sundays, my day off. How can I make the most of this time with her when she is devastated? I have had extended family die, but before I was fully mature or present with someone's suffering. I need advice. My wife is a believer.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Lord please give OceanPoet the words to help and comfort his wife in this time of great need. May they be aware of Your Love and Presence with them now and in the many months ahead.

 

[Another Lazarus]

Just tell her how much you care for her.

 

[PloverWing]

When my mother died, what I wanted most from my husband was a) hugs, long hugs; b) a listening ear while I talked out my feelings; and c) a helping hand to take care of the house and kids for a bit while I worked through emotions and tended to funeral arrangements. If you have to be away, then someone else may have to be the helping hand, but you can be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on even over the telephone.

Since your sister-in-law was so young, your wife's emotions may include anger. She might be angry with God for taking her sister. Let her be angry. She may say "Why did God let her die?" That sounds like a theological question, but it's not; it's also an expression of anger. Sit with her and hold her and let her rage at God, if she needs to. God can take all the raging we throw at him, and he loves us through it all.

I am so sorry for your family's loss.

 

[twinserk]

Just be there for her. Hold her, let her know that you're there for her, and let her cry. Make sure she knows that you love her, and relieve as much of her day-to-day responsibilities as you can.

Just be sure you're not washing dishes when she really needs you with her.