Yay! I think that I have actually been moving a little closer to God. Like I said, I prayed the other day, and I didn't feel any changes, but I know that faith is not based on feelings, so I kept praying. I was very honest with God, and told Him that although I am not ready to accept Him (again???) just yet, I wanted to open communication with Him. I told Him my doubts, my struggles. Then I emailed my husband. He is in the Navy and out to sea for six months. He says he is a Christian, and used to live for God too, but hasn't for awhile. Anyhow, I was worried because I am so far away from him, and my husband and I are so close, and so much in love..I was afraid that if I started going back to God, it would somehow seperate us if we were living differently. I know that this is a bad thought, but I actually don't think i could live for God if my husband is not. So anyhow, I emailed him, and told him that I had been asking questions and talking to people here in this Christian forum, and that I started to pray again, and read a little bit of the Bible. I told him that I wanted to wat to go back to God again, and that I couldn't do it alone. I asked him if he could think about it too, and we could talk about it. He replied and said that he was thinking the same thing, and had even been talking to a guy on the ship who is a Christian also, and asking him questions and stuff. Yay!! That makes me so happy because it seems like it would be so much easier to go back to God if Andy (my hubby) went with me. Yeah, I know its a personal decision and before the throne of God it wont matter, but this is such a big burden lifted off my shoulders!! Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughts. I am really not quite ready to commit yet, but I feel so much closer and so much more at peace. Thank you again