anyone like me?

[Destiny78]

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there like me. I hate to say i don't know if I am a Christian or not, but I guess that would depend on your point of view. If you can loose your salvation or not. I don't know, and I'm sure there are many differing opinions. But ever since I was in the 7th grade (I am 25 now, and have been graduated for 8 years) I have been going back and forth, on and off with God. Being totally on fire for God one week, or month or even year, and then the next, questioning, even denying his existance. I try to live for God, but the world always calls me back. I feel like to live a Christian life is trying to be someone that I'm not. No matter how hard I try. I am struggling to find out who I am as it is, but the closer I am to God, the more away I feel from myself. Is this in any way normal? Does any one else relate? Thank you...
PS. I know a lot about God and the Bible, doctrine and stuff, so please don't give me basic simple answers, I am more just looking for someone to relate too. Thank you

 

[seebs]

I've known other people with similar experiences. I think most people have some degree of variance in how strongly they feel their faith. More for some, less for others.

 

[Serapha]

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there like me. I hate to say i don't know if I am a Christian or not, but I guess that would depend on your point of view. If you can loose your salvation or not. I don't know, and I'm sure there are many differing opinions. But ever since I was in the 7th grade (I am 25 now, and have been graduated for 8 years) I have been going back and forth, on and off with God. Being totally on fire for God one week, or month or even year, and then the next, questioning, even denying his existance. I try to live for God, but the world always calls me back. I feel like to live a Christian life is trying to be someone that I'm not. No matter how hard I try. I am struggling to find out who I am as it is, but the closer I am to God, the more away I feel from myself. Is this in any way normal? Does any one else relate? Thank you...
PS. I know a lot about God and the Bible, doctrine and stuff, so please don't give me basic simple answers, I am more just looking for someone to relate too. Thank you

Hey there!

but the world always calls me back.

Isn't that just the way it is....



Everyone has that problem.... the world just keep calling. But you can rise above that call because you have a greater calling.

If you can loose your salvation or not.

No, I firmly believe the Word of God teachs us that once you are saved, you are saved for eternity, God doesn't do anything half way... You might do things that break the fellowship, but the relationship will always be intact.

When you are discouraged, don't fall back into the world, but fall towards Christ... say a prayer and ask God for direction and when you are the most overloaded, take the time for God... The busier the day, the more time you should pray.

I feel like to live a Christian life is trying to be someone that I'm not.

That might be the Holy Spirit talking to you about something in your life... at those times, try prayer with a time for listening...

Try to find an inner circle of friends who will accept you exactly where you are in your Christian walk, and when you are down, be honest and tell that inner circle what is wrong. Surprisingly, someone will probably have already done that same walk, and be able to relate to you exactly where you are.

You can pm anytime you are discouraged and sound off...

~serapha~

 

[Blessed-one]

hi Destiny,

Being totally on fire for God one week, or month or even year, and then the next, questioning, even denying his existance.

i find that a rather painful cycle.. but being the person i am, i try to hang on as long as possible. Pray to God and wait for His answers.. let things come and see what is ahead of me. well.. it does take time, but God has never given up on me unless i chose otherwise. "Never give up" is the only key for anyone to stand firm in God and that phrase incorporates 'faith' and 'trust'. Perhaps your trust seems small to you at the moment, but God knows how hard you're trying.

No matter how hard I try. I am struggling to find out who I am as it is, but the closer I am to God, the more away I feel from myself. Is this in any way normal?

here's a good thread for you. The member was asking exactly the same question.
http://www.christianforums.com/t94848

so apparently, this does happen to christians.
just like any newborn, it'd be difficult to deduce a conclusion without time. For some people, it take longer; some others, less.

um.. in what circumstances do you feel that the closer you are with God, the farther away you are from yourself?

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Knowing you are saved is a very simple thing.
If God walked up to you, pointed His finger in your face and said "You're in".

Would you turn around scratching your head wondering if you were in or not?

Rom 10:13
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

He said that if you call on the name of the Lord you would be saved. He did not lie. He does not change His mind about things like this. I assume you called on the name of the Lord (it is Jesus). If you did (called) then you are (saved).

Period.

It is not more complicated that that.
Here are some more:


1Jo 5:1
1 Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him.

No question. No if ands or buts. You are born again if you believe Jesus is the Christ.

How do you know that Jesus is the Christ?
Simple: God said He was:

Act 2:36
36 Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that God hath made that same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ.

To believe something means to accept it as truth. Belief has more to do with the speaker than the hearer. Who is it that is speaking? God! Does He lie? No. Does He know what He is talking about? Yes.
If God made Jesus Lord and Christ, then there is nothing in the universe that can stop Him from being Lord and Christ. He is Lord and Christ regardless of what anyone thinks, wants, or does. He is the Lord of the devil, the Lord of all angels, and the Lord of all men... including you!

The key is to let yourself be carried by the integrity of His word... not by your attempts to do anything. Just rest in the fact that Jesus is Lord and Christ, that He died for your sins.

 

[Destiny78]

Knowing you are saved is a very simple thing.
If God walked up to you, pointed His finger in your face and said "You're in".

Would you turn around scratching your head wondering if you were in or not?

Rom 10:13
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Doesn't the Bible also say somewhere something like...they will call Lord Lord, and I will turn from them and say I never knew them... That's a paraphrase, but I think something like it is in there somewhere.

Thank you all for the replies. And I checked out that other thread as well, which was helpful. I am just so sick of going back and forth. I read a book called "The Great Compromise" by Greg Laurie. In it he says this about a Christian not living for God, that there is too much of God in him to be happy in the world, and too much of the world in Him to be happy in God. I feel like I have too much of the world in me. Also I don't want to be veiwed as some kind of religious fanatic. That is a big issue with me, although I know it shouldn't be. Anyways, I fear this may be a struggle I have for the rest of my life as it has been for the last 14 years.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Doesn't the Bible also say somewhere something like...they will call Lord Lord, and I will turn from them and say I never knew them... That's a paraphrase, but I think something like it is in there somewhere..

No... that is not what it says.
He only says that to people who He never knew.
He could never say that to you because you have known Him.

 

[Blazin4Christ]

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there like me. I hate to say i don't know if I am a Christian or not, but I guess that would depend on your point of view. If you can loose your salvation or not. I don't know, and I'm sure there are many differing opinions. But ever since I was in the 7th grade (I am 25 now, and have been graduated for 8 years) I have been going back and forth, on and off with God. Being totally on fire for God one week, or month or even year, and then the next, questioning, even denying his existance. I try to live for God, but the world always calls me back. I feel like to live a Christian life is trying to be someone that I'm not. No matter how hard I try. I am struggling to find out who I am as it is, but the closer I am to God, the more away I feel from myself. Is this in any way normal? Does any one else relate? Thank you...
PS. I know a lot about God and the Bible, doctrine and stuff, so please don't give me basic simple answers, I am more just looking for someone to relate too. Thank you

YES I felt EXACTLY LIKE YOU.when I tried to egt closer to God I did feel further form myself.in the end it helped me with so many of my problems liek with my rock music and stuff.but I have been goin up hill ever since.you can always talk to me

 

[Destiny78]

No... that is not what it says.
He only says that to people who He never knew.
He could never say that to you because you have known Him.

what then if someone were to say that they didn't need to lead a Godly lifestyle because Jesus saved them, and they were always saved no matter how they lived? Not that I think that is right, but would they still go to heaven?

YES I felt EXACTLY LIKE YOU.when I tried to egt closer to God I did feel further form myself.in the end it helped me with so many of my problems liek with my rock music and stuff.but I have been goin up hill ever since.you can always talk to me

Thankyou! Thank you for understanding, and please tell me how you got past it. You said that you are giong uphill now. I want to want that. I am not sure if I want it, but I want to. Does that make sense?

 

[Gunny]

No, I firmly believe the Word of God teachs us that once you are saved, you are saved for eternity, God doesn't do anything half way... You might do things that break the fellowship, but the relationship will always be intact.
~serapha~

Amen.

 

[Celeste]

These people have given some really good advice to you Destiny, How do you go on is- just do it. go on!!! God is merciful, kind ,forgiving, faithful, self controlled, He is Love,
He gives grace upon grace . Like the waves on a shore. Thats how much He loves you even more. Celeste

 

[SavedByGrace3]

what then if someone were to say that they didn't need to lead a Godly lifestyle because Jesus saved them, and they were always saved no matter how they lived? Not that I think that is right, but would they still go to heaven?

Have you ever met someone who said that?
I have been ministering and teaching for 33 years.... and I have never met anyone who actually said this. I have heard people suggest it, but never in real life.
Closer to the truth are people who are saved and who for whatever reason live as you suggest. They sin, they never seem to live for God.
The Bible does speak about these, and even says they can go to "heaven". But it also says:

Galatians 6:8 LITV
8 For the one sowing to his flesh will reap corruption of the flesh. But the one sowing to the Spirit will reap everlasting life from the Spirit.

Where does this verse say you will reap corruption?

 

[Destiny78]

Have you ever met someone who said that?
I have been ministering and teaching for 33 years.... and I have never met anyone who actually said this. I have heard people suggest it, but never in real life.
Closer to the truth are people who are saved and who for whatever reason live as you suggest. They sin, they never seem to live for God.
The Bible does speak about these, and even says they can go to "heaven". But it also says:

Galatians 6:8 LITV
8 For the one sowing to his flesh will reap corruption of the flesh. But the one sowing to the Spirit will reap everlasting life from the Spirit.

Where does this verse say you will reap corruption?

What is corruption of the flesh? And if it says the one sowing the spirit will reap everlasting life, isn't that talking about heaven? And isn't that suggesting that the ones not sowing to the spirit won't have ever lasting life? I'm not trying to be a smartalek, I really just don't understand. I have been thinking a lot the last few days, about what all of you have said, and I have decided that I want to live for God, but I want to uderstand more than I do first. I told you all that I knew a lot about the bible, but honestly, I don't think I do. I've heard a lot, but to be honest, I really don't understand a lot of stuff. There is a lot of conflict I need to work out in my head before making that decision. I don't want to do it blindly. THank you all for your help and advice...Destiny

 

[Celeste]

Let me give you a witness. here I am feeling so left out of Gods care. I feel so lost so alone. I, with tears went to God tears running down fluently. I went to Him this way. I visually went to the foot of the cross. I told God through Jesus what I had done (it was bad) I said God I don't know what I am going to do, if I have to live the rest of my life without you . I am so sorry about what I have done. Jesus then (I saw visually) put stretched out arms and hands towards me and said give me your sin. so I visually saw a box(it was my box of sin and he kept trying to take it and I kept pulling back . He said let it go , I let it go and gave it to Him and so I thanked Him and praised Him. Then a little later, I felt this love come into my body all of my body from head to toe. And God said to me even if you were killed now on this highway everything is ok. Go, hang in there with Christian people. and that was what I did and do. This is how I delt with that sin of mine. God is so loving He gave His only begotten son to die for all our sins. and this is how He brought it to life for me.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

What is corruption of the flesh? And if it says the one sowing the spirit will reap everlasting life, isn't that talking about heaven? And isn't that suggesting that the ones not sowing to the spirit won't have ever lasting life? I'm not trying to be a smartalek, I really just don't understand. I have been thinking a lot the last few days, about what all of you have said, and I have decided that I want to live for God, but I want to uderstand more than I do first. I told you all that I knew a lot about the bible, but honestly, I don't think I do. I've heard a lot, but to be honest, I really don't understand a lot of stuff. There is a lot of conflict I need to work out in my head before making that decision. I don't want to do it blindly. THank you all for your help and advice...Destiny

I know of a man who was having sex with his father's mother. Nasty huh? He was going to have his body destroyed because of has nasty ways so he could be saved in the end.
Opps.. this is not just a story. This is directly from the Bible!

1 Corinthians 5:1-5 KJV
1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
3 For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed,
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

This guy was in big trouble. He was gong to have his body destroyed by satan (corruption of the flesh as we discussed in the former post) so that his soul be saved in the day of the Lord (Judgement day). Having your body destroyed by satan does not sound like a good time.... but it is better than having your soul lost in the end.

There are two kinds of sins. One kind destroys your physical life, the other kind destroys your soul.
You likely do not have the ability to commit the second sort because you are not spiritual old enough to know what you are doing. But you are still subject to the corruption brought about by the first sort of sin.
I recommend living a righteous life. Who wants to be tortured by satan till you die? :o

 

[Destiny78]

Celeste- Thank you for that. Your testimony has inspired me to spend some time on my knees tonight and pray to the God I once knew... I haven't done it yet, but plan too as I go to bed tonight.

didaskalos- What is the unforgivable sin? I have heard of it...maybe I don't want to know, I would be too scared that I would commit it.
It sounds like te guy in the parable died. Am I understanding that right? Or was he just totured. It sounds like you really understand and know the Bible. That is awesome. I wish that I could read it and understand like that.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

didaskalos- What is the unforgivable sin? I have heard of it...maybe I don't want to know, I would be too scared that I would commit it.

Just a couple thoughts on this.
1. Don't worry about commiting it. Unless you are a very old Christian who has experienced many supernatural things and who knows tons about the word of God... you will not be able to commit it.
2. In order to commit it you will have to know what you are doing. It is not something you can do by mistake. So if you do not know what it is....then you can rest assured that you are in no danger of commiting it.

It sounds like te guy in the parable died. Am I understanding that right? Or was he just totured. It sounds like you really understand and know the Bible. That is awesome. I wish that I could read it and understand like that.

Actually this was not a parable dear heart! It was an actual guy in a real life situation! And happy happy joy joy, he repented and got himself out of that mess. Most scholars believe that this passage in the next letter to the Corinthians refers to this same fellow and that he repented:

2 Corinthians 7:8-12 KJV
8 For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season.
9 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.
10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
11 For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.
12 Wherefore, though I wrote unto you, I did it not for his cause that had done the wrong, nor for his cause that suffered wrong, but that our care for you in the sight of God might appear unto you.

 

[Lucubratus]

Just a couple thoughts on this.
1. Don't worry about commiting it. Unless you are a very old Christian who has experienced many supernatural things and who knows tons about the word of God... you will not be able to commit it.
2. In order to commit it you will have to know what you are doing. It is not something you can do by mistake. So if you do not know what it is....then you can rest assured that you are in no danger of commiting it.


I'm not very old nor very well versed in the bible - but I always heard the rumor that the 'one' unforgiveable was suicide, then I heard it was not suicide - but knowing God and turning your back on him - I mean totally rejecting him, decrying, denying - whatever word you may use. Blaspheme to the extreme at that point where there is no more turning back.
The very thought of that scares me for people who either do this or feel like they're on the verge of doing so (even if I'm not accurate about the unforgiveable sin part) and actually I have had experiences that I can only say were of supernatural things and when I recall those experiences versus the God-experiences and then see problems like Destiny is having, it twinges all the more.

so Destiny - I will pray for you really. I can't recall anytime in my life that I doubted God or that there wasn't a GOd, or Jesus's sacrifice though I will admit times I got frustrated with him...lol...until I realized it's frustration directed at myself and my surface mind battling it out with my subconscious mind and spirit. It can get really crowded in there...the brain, that is. ;-)
I really like what Celeste wrote, almost made me cry it did - and using the little movie theatre in your mind and trying to visualize that connection to God seems to really help more than just closing your eyes, staring at black space and not seeing your words floating around anywhere.

I'll say it here since it's on a Christian forum, I've mentioned it before to some people and they either thought I was nuts or, if they were Christian asked me why I thought it was the Devil himself I saw and not an angel. The answer to that was, I don't believe Angels would scare the bejeebers out of a kid just by their presence alone. This presence was very scary and at the time I was too young to think "Oh hey this is the Devil" or "Hey this is an Angel". I saw what I saw, it seemed to get closer the more I looked at him - and then I remember running inside the house. The being looked human, a male - but sort of insubstantial and not standing on solid ground but sort of moving without walking about 3 feet off the ground. I was in the yard of the house and this being was out on the street and never really "set foot" in the actual area. (Which of course, I think was God's protection)
Many long years later when I finally told my Mom about it - a lot of things came pouring out. That house where we living in where I saw the Devil was where she was having a lot of malevolent spiritual attacks aimed at her, and she mentally "saw" a lot of things that were not Christlike - and even physically saw things (shadow silhouttes when no one was in the room, etc)
All of these things were scaring her to death but the church members were trying to explain it away as angelic encounters and she wasn't mature enough yet and that's why they were scaring her. These things would be so strong it was on the verge of a physical touch but by the grace of God never had the power to physically manifest and do any harm (just tried to drive her nuts, I say that laconically)


Pardon me, I don't know why that all came flying out.l..lol - but if that somehow helps somebody out whose reading it, then I did whatever it was God had me do. I'm sure to an unbeliever I'll come across as biased but I don't care, just don't give up Destiny -- because I do think that Satan can come at you in a lot of ways mentally and one of those ways can just be a feeling or notion, like when you say you don't feel yourself - sometimes when I got like that my Mom made this suggestion that perhaps there WAS a little demonic/angelic battle going on over you and the apathy of yourself within yourself is God's way of keeping you protected from that fight.

for the long post..

g'nite

 

[Celeste]

Amen.

Matt:7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you;seek and ye shall find ; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that aeeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

also, Jesus had 100 sheep but one was astray what did Jesus do? He went after his lost sheep. and found it!!

 

[Celeste]

Just a couple thoughts on this.
1. Don't worry about commiting it. Unless you are a very old Christian who has experienced many supernatural things and who knows tons about the word of God... you will not be able to commit it.
2. In order to commit it you will have to know what you are doing. It is not something you can do by mistake. So if you do not know what it is....then you can rest assured that you are in no danger of commiting it.


I'm not very old nor very well versed in the bible - but I always heard the rumor that the 'one' unforgiveable was suicide, then I heard it was not suicide - but knowing God and turning your back on him - I mean totally rejecting him, decrying, denying - whatever word you may use. Blaspheme to the extreme at that point where there is no more turning back.
The very thought of that scares me for people who either do this or feel like they're on the verge of doing so (even if I'm not accurate about the unforgiveable sin part) and actually I have had experiences that I can only say were of supernatural things and when I recall those experiences versus the God-experiences and then see problems like Destiny is having, it twinges all the more.

so Destiny - I will pray for you really. I can't recall anytime in my life that I doubted God or that there wasn't a GOd, or Jesus's sacrifice though I will admit times I got frustrated with him...lol...until I realized it's frustration directed at myself and my surface mind battling it out with my subconscious mind and spirit. It can get really crowded in there...the brain, that is. ;-)
I really like what Celeste wrote, almost made me cry it did - and using the little movie theatre in your mind and trying to visualize that connection to God seems to really help more than just closing your eyes, staring at black space and not seeing your words floating around anywhere.

I'll say it here since it's on a Christian forum, I've mentioned it before to some people and they either thought I was nuts or, if they were Christian asked me why I thought it was the Devil himself I saw and not an angel. The answer to that was, I don't believe Angels would scare the bejeebers out of a kid just by their presence alone. This presence was very scary and at the time I was too young to think "Oh hey this is the Devil" or "Hey this is an Angel". I saw what I saw, it seemed to get closer the more I looked at him - and then I remember running inside the house. The being looked human, a male - but sort of insubstantial and not standing on solid ground but sort of moving without walking about 3 feet off the ground. I was in the yard of the house and this being was out on the street and never really "set foot" in the actual area. (Which of course, I think was God's protection)
Many long years later when I finally told my Mom about it - a lot of things came pouring out. That house where we living in where I saw the Devil was where she was having a lot of malevolent spiritual attacks aimed at her, and she mentally "saw" a lot of things that were not Christlike - and even physically saw things (shadow silhouttes when no one was in the room, etc)
All of these things were scaring her to death but the church members were trying to explain it away as angelic encounters and she wasn't mature enough yet and that's why they were scaring her. These things would be so strong it was on the verge of a physical touch but by the grace of God never had the power to physically manifest and do any harm (just tried to drive her nuts, I say that laconically)


Pardon me, I don't know why that all came flying out.l..lol - but if that somehow helps somebody out whose reading it, then I did whatever it was God had me do. I'm sure to an unbeliever I'll come across as biased but I don't care, just don't give up Destiny -- because I do think that Satan can come at you in a lot of ways mentally and one of those ways can just be a feeling or notion, like when you say you don't feel yourself - sometimes when I got like that my Mom made this suggestion that perhaps there WAS a little demonic/angelic battle going on over you and the apathy of yourself within yourself is God's way of keeping you protected from that fight.

for the long post..

g'nite

hmmmm I beleive that gose on. that the devil keeps pounding on and on til he knows he can't and won't get you to his death side. (this is what I beleive he is, is death !like he roars and roams all over the earth seeking whom he may devour.
True he has power. but also truth is :greater is He that is in you than he that is in the earth.I had a simular experience. here's mine. I was dreaming. I went outside to the side of the house and when i went out there was the other planets so so huge. (I think that was depression) then here comes a helecopter landing in our front yard. I went and said to him: YOU GET BACK IN THAT MACHINE AND GET OFF OF THIS PROPERTY IT BELONGS TO GOD AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. HE TURNED AROUND WITHOUT A WORD AND GOT BACK IN AND FLEW OFF.
So it was a declaration that he was in or out . Well he is out!!!!

Thanks to our loving God and His Son Jesus Christ for his sacrafice for us and our sins that put satan at the losing end of it all. It has already been accomplished . It is finished! Once and for all! the devil has lost. but he sure likes to try to fool people into thinking different. doesen't he. ( your thought s on the unforgiven sin is right.)