This is the struggle of the Christian life. Remember St. Paul the Apostle's letter to the Romans:
7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that
it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but
how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do
, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do
, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do
, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
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These words are probably very familiar to every Christian -- some from having read them, but more from living them.
One of my most favorite saints, Abba John the Little, prayed to God not for a cessation of struggles, but for strength in the fight. This is what we all need, though the flesh would have it otherwise. Remember also the words of the Psalmist (Psalm 66):
Oh, bless our God, you peoples!
And make the voice of His praise to be heard,
Who keeps our soul among the living,
And does not allow our feet to be moved.
For You, O God, have tested us;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
You brought us into the net;
You laid affliction on our backs.
You have caused men to ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;
But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.
The purpose of struggle is the rich fulfillment of the followers of God. This is what is behind all Christian (and Jewish, I suppose, since we're referencing the OT) asceticism, such as fasting. It is given by God that we should do this, and not shirk it. We even say in the Coptic Orthodox Church (in the response to Psalm 150/the communion hymn during Lent) "Jesus Christ fasted
for us, 40 days and 40 nights." We are being refined in the hands of the Master Who made us, that by our struggles we train the body to be obedient to the soul, and are cleansed and made pleasing to God. Do not give up! The Lord's strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and He desires to give you the strength that you do not have if you persist in asking for it.
A sermon by HH Pope Shenouda III on this topic with English subtitles: "Come back to God"