I’m not sure if I should try anymore

[discombobulated1]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

I'm very sorry. I have been in a similar place but I am not in that place today. You probably won't take my advice or whatever you call it.. I won't call it that, I'll just say what I myself did: First, I prayed the rosary, which the Virgin at Fatima told the children to do, but I never listened to any of that "church stuff" when i was younger. I discovered the rosary and what it can do long b4 I checked out Fatima and that event in 1917 confirmed my appreciation for the rosary.

Of course Satan didn't like me praying the rosary, which is used in exorcisms. I went through some hard stuff, mostly because I had, like you, done serious sins..

Well, then a good priest told me about the Real Presence in the Catholic Church. . don't know if you are Catholic but there is a tangible Presence of Christ there (it's awesome... not surprisingly)

Catholics say the RCC is the one Christ founded.. I know that is true.. though I get arguments all the time

 

[Chris35]

There is hope, I have been in a similar situation, feeling very helpless and dead, totally numb towards God for a long time.

I ended up walking up and down the street in circles just repenting anyway for about an hour, even though I felt very dead, pointless, and felt like God couldn't hear me at all.

Then all of a sudden God did answer in a very direct and spiritual way, so there is hope for you.

Even if everything in you is saying it is hopeless, it's not.

 

[lismore]

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

Hello! It does seem like this sin is bothering your conscience, which is a good sign. The worrying place to be would be when a person's conscience is so seared that they don't care.

Perhaps this Psalm might give your guidance and comfort:

Psalm 130​

A song of ascents.​

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Always remember you're not alone. God will never leave or forsake you and you have your family in the Lord too. God Bless You

 

[Joseph G]

Still praying for you, Aliemikeyj. If you think you are beyond redemption, I want to also assure that you are not - this from the chief of sinners and the ultimate prodigal son. Yes, I too sinned great sins even after knowing and receiving Him. And while being disciplined when He was drawing me back to Him, I read all the verses that scared the you-know-what out of me - that surely they applied to me.

Well through the process of cleansing me He revealed a grave error that I had been making while being restored. It's great to recognize that Scripture should be taken as the literal Word of God. But it's a huge mistake to believe that every time you read it that it always applies to YOU.

Jesus is the Author of Scripture. He demonstrated His Authority over the Word in how he dealt with Satan's temptations - that He decides interpretation of Scripture and He decides which apply to any situation.

I think the scary verses serve a dual purpose, on one hand to condemn those who never repent, and on the other hand to convict those who do -in order to set them FREE. Not to beat them over the head to the end of days. If that is what is happening after sincere confession and repentance - guess where THAT is coming from - the Accuser of the Brethren.

My prayer for you is that you will ultimately realize two things. 1) that if you are doubting you were really saved, or fear that you have lost your salvation, simply go directly to Him and ASK in faith that He will respond. If you arent saved but seeking Him, He'll convict you. And if you are saved, He will happily confirm it, in His time, His manner and according to His priorities - because He knows how to keep His promise to those with genuine faith:

Romans 8:16 NIV
"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."

I highly recommend reading all of Romans 8, friend.

And 2) that He will lead you to the place I arrived at after receiving this assurance. I asked Him, "Why Lord? Why have you chosen me - after all I've done to your Name and your heart and all those You gave me to love?"

His answer?

Romans 9:14-15 NIV

"What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”"

It's really just that simple, friend. God's grace.

God bless!

 

[irenevictoria]

What exactly is your problem? Does it have something to do with addiction?

 

[Lukaris]

If your problem is just like an attitude issue this can be coped with on an extended basis. There may be ups & downs in how we feel on different days but the key is balancing the big picture of our salvation within even our slightest good works ( within the proper context of Ephesians 2:8-10).

Things like basic prayer and charity ( like the Lord tells us in Matthew 6:1-13) come into play here. We are to do these things for ourselves but also for others in a basic necessary sense but also a spiritual one. For ex. donating to a food bank; a person in need, needs food to live. Some people in need of basic nutrition have salvation but others do not; adding prayer to this helps everyone regardless ( see 1 Timothy 2:1-6).

I am not talking about works based salvation here but the framework St. Paul tells us in Philippians 2:1-4. This is looking out for ourselves and others and St. Paul tells us as working out our salvation with fear & trembling ( Philippians 2:12). Read Philippians 2:1-18 carefully on this, St. Paul is just reiterating the sound Biblical sense of the fear of the Lord, that Jesus Christ is our God & Savior and that we keep a sound mind in all of this.

I need to listen to what St. Paul tells me in Philippians 2:12 even as I try to give advice to another person on the very same matter. I also look to the overall picture of what St. Paul tells us in Romans 3:21-26 while considering what he tells us in Philippians 3:12-16.

 

[Bobber]

I don’t know where to go

I tried getting in contact with my pastor but I can never get an appointment with him. I won’t say the sin I committed however, in terms of depravity and gravity and the years I’ve been away from god- I’ve committed a serious sin. God even promises vengeance on my sin in the Bible. I know god doesn’t play around, at least now I do. I am really trying to return to him but I feel like it’s too late. I thought I was saved but I fell away and I never truly followed god. It turned out that I was an unbeliever and the Holy Spirit was still pursuing me. God tried really hard for me but I messed up so so badly. It’s possible that I’ve been given over to a reprobate mind.

I’m trying to repent and turn from my ways but I feel like it’s all empty and hopeless if the Holy Spirit doesn’t enable it. I feel like spiritually my soul is dead and it’s really my fault. I sinned so badly in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying but there hasn’t been any change and my whole situation is a theological nightmare.

I cry out to god every day but I feel like it won’t change anything and I’m trying to change my ways but i always fail and everything just becomes pointless. Of course I did this to myself and I won’t stop trying however I feel like no matter what my efforts will go in vain. I chose to veer off the path god had for me and now I’m paying for it. I don’t feel conviction at all. I don’t know what to do.

You might be surprised to know God might be saying to you what horrible stuff? Didn't you confess those sins and didn't I say I'd forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness 1 Jn 1:9 ....take the UN off of unrighteousness and what do you have....RIGHTOUESNEES that is the righteousness of God in Christ. Didn't I tell you I'd remember your sins no more? Heb 8:12 Didn't I tell you come boldly to the throne of Grace and find grace and mercy to help in time of need? Heb 4:6

Remember, remember, remember it's because of his precious blood that he can see you with a clean slate. Here's the thing with you. Don't commit a worse sin now then what you did before. What do I mean? I mean Jesus has dealt with your past sins...he said he would and did.....he either cleansed you from all unrighteousness or he did not . God news....HE DID! He longs to restore his wayward children but if they treat lightly the power of the blood of Jesus they keep themselves in the place of condemnation.

Rise up friend and say NO to the devil and be bold and full of joy thanking God continually that you believe he kept his word. Always know too and realize God sees the sorry mess ALL OF HIS CHILDREN make at times so if God was going to be down on you he'd have to be down about EVERYBODY. Ah....maybe not me but everybody else....(just kidding)

 

[irenevictoria]

As long as you're alive there's still hope for you. Keep praying and yearning for God to help you and for yourself to have the desire to change. Just remember that you yourself are accountable for your own life. Even if we and God try to help if you won't help yourself nothing will happen.

 

[Hazelelponi]

But Im not being convicted anymore- I wish I was but i didn’t listen to god ever and Paul did it in ignorance- I had some knowledge of the truth so I don’t know if there’s any hope

It doesn't matter what you did, Jesus paid the price.

When Jesus said we were to forgive our brother even if he sins against us 70×7 it's because unlimited forgiveness is reflective of God's forgiveness of our sins.

There's no sin too great. Jesus paid the price ..

What you have to do, is ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself too and go to God begging HIS leading and HIS Spirit so that you may live the reflection of Christ you were created to be. (Pray; Create in me a clean heart, Oh Lord, and renew in me a right Spirit).

Though you may feel alone, He has not left us alone.

Psalms 51:10-19

 

[Lost4words]

We are all sinners.

Jesus came to save sinners.

Never give in. Never give up. Trust in God with all of your heart, strength and soul. No matter how hard it gets. Persevere. Stay strong.

Remember, as you are carrying your cross, Jesus is indeed carrying you!

Its not easy. We have to pick up our cross daily. Just remember you are not alone.

God bless you Aliemikeyj