There are a couple of verses I would like to talk about.
2 Corinthians 6:14
I would like to qoute somone on this one.
"To be yoked is to be tied together, like oxen pulling a cart. What this verse is warning against is being tied together with someone that isnt going to work with you. If an unbeliever isnt willing to work with you and your not willing to work with the non believer then the cart doesnt move. But if you work together there isnt a reason you cant be yoked together." and also " its also worth noting that both of these verses were said by paul to specific groups of people so its not a lesson we need to follow precisely but a metaphorical understanding can still be useful. It wouldnt make much sense for paul to teach not to marry non believers then turn around and say its perfectly fine to marry non believers "
If we are to take pauls words to the Corinthians literally and as commands then anyone who came to faith before marriage should not be married as far as I understand.
This is another often misused and a bused text.
Yes, the
principle inherent in Paul's words can be applied to "unequal" relationships but Paul was not specifically addressing a dating relationship. However, I will try to address the use of this verse with your circumstances as you've described them because one of the things you must avoid is the notion you're the stronger of the two oxen in the shared yoke. The double mindedness makes you the weaker ox!
Consider your girlfriend's attributes, strengths, skills, etc. For example, my wife and I are both intelligent and educated. According to the tests
, my wife has a higher IQ than me. IQ-wise, she's the "stronger ox" in the "yoke" and there is absolutely nothing I could ever do about that. Similarly, while my education, experience, and profession have empowered me in the fields of construction and business (I was once a carpenter who owned a home improvement company), and the social sciences (I have advance degrees in psychology, sociology and anthropology) my wife's education, experience, and profession have empowered her in the areas of grade school education, family and fitness. I was raised in a two-parent family early one that became a single-parent family as a teen and I did not become a Christian until I was 25. My wife, on the other hand was raised in a two-parent family that remained intact and became a Christian as a teenager. She's never used drugs and I lost ten years of my life to addiction.
These things make us strong and week in different areas.
The questions become how do we identify our respective strengths and weaknesses and how do we work together in the same yoke..... adjusting for ever-changing circumstances in life? If you are only dating then you probably do not have enough knowledge of each other to be able to answer that question, but you can start any time. In one sense no two people are ever truly equally yoked (and Paul, never having been married may have known that intellectually and spiritually, but he never knew it experientially in the context of marriage. As far as the differing faiths go, it should also be recognized there are very few atheists in the Bible. Corinth was a pagan city, one in which the temples of Apollo and Aphrodite existed. These were very hedonistic religions and in the cult of Aphrodite the priest were females, not men. This was likely part of the problem Paul faced in Corinth having to corral converts to Christ in a congregation where women priests and male and female prostitutes were used to having power over others, especially the women over the men. The church in Corinth was troubled. One man was having sex with his father's wife and no one in the congregation did anything about it! It was in Corinth where we first read of sectarian division (some following Jesus, while others followed Cephas or Apollos).
That is what Paul was alluding to when he wrote about not being unequally yoked.
So, if your girlfriend is a priestess in some pagan cult and not interested in converting to Christ (even though that may one day happen) then you might not want to walk away. You should probably run
.
Otherwise, back up and apply that "
unequally yoked" principle objectively. Inter-faith couples have unique problems not shared by same-faith couples, but many make it work. Many do not (I don't know the stats on that particular metric). More importantly, there are areas in which you are the weaker ox, and one of them is the difficulty you have managing your own integrity, and another is the difficulty valuing your girlfriend consistently and then communicating that value.
"Love" is just a word we use to communicate value. To love someone is to value them uniquely and supremely. It takes a lifetime to love someone and the two of you are not yet married.
See if you can track down a copy of Timothy Keller's book "
The Meaning of Marriage," and read chapter titled, "
The Essence of Marriage." This is one of the best books on marriage I have ever read (and I have read hundreds). That particular chapter will speak to some of the concerns expressed in this op.
My regrets but I have to go. I hope, despite my direct and forthcoming style, no offense was taken and something useful can be garnered from what I have posted. Keep in mind you should be following God, not Josh, John, or Carl. If God wants you to marry Gomer then you had better marry Gomer. If He wants you to marry Martha, then it would be wise to marry Martha - and I say that believing God is not a matchmaker who has made only one woman alone you could marry. You be the man God made you to be and find the woman being the woman God made her to be and become the husband-and-wife God would have you be for each other.
I'll take up some of the other content as time, inclination, and response warrant but I believe what I have already posted can serve to help you re-think the matter and find contentment in God's will.
