My strong feeling is that it's all superficial, but when it got personal and I found myself admitting that I'm not actually all that in any area - as a father I don't provide well and haven't been a good leader, as an employee I haven't always been attentive, as a brother I am straight-up inattentive and dragged my sisters into my drama with my parents (that's a whole thing, but both my parents and I are awful) - just I had the thought that I may be worth something as Jesus reckons it but in fact my whole pride thing was out of traction to work from.
But my main issue has usually been pride. I'm often sure I'm smarter than others in the room, or more articulate at least. I dress poorly because I used to dress well and didn't like the way people reacted to me - acting more aware that I was there - but paradoxically wish I was well-thought-of by those around me. I chalk it up to insecurity and immaturity.
My kids are getting old enough to model my behavior in terms of my Christian walk and I don't know what to show them anymore. I saw a miracle - two miracles - over my life, but somehow completely forgot about both for a period of several years. I remembered and felt revitalized, and forgot again, and remembered again.
I had a cavity. It's a small thing, I know, but it's a thing I had. And then between one dentist appointment and the next I didn't. And I touched someone who was too tired to drive and prayed for him, and he was awake.
I'm a mess, and haven't got a church home, and would love the anonymous help of people with really useful things to say. Hi.
Welcome to the forums. I understand what is going one, even though I have not had an experience such as yours.
I'm glad you reached out for guidance, JustAnotherHypocrite. It takes great courage to acknowledge one's shortcomings and seek growth. I'd be happy to help you explore some Bible verses that may provide comfort, encouragement, and guidance for your current situation.
Firstly, regarding your feelings of unworthiness and the need to let go of pride:
1. Romans 3:23 - "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
This verse serves as a reminder that no one is perfect, including yourself. Pride arises when we believe we are better than others, but the truth is, we all fall short of God's standard.
2. Philippians 2:3-4 - "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
This passage encourages us to put others before ourselves and avoid selfish pride. Humility is a key virtue that can lead to personal growth and stronger relationships.
3. Proverbs 16:5 - "Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured he will not go unpunished."
This verse emphasizes the importance of humility and warns against arrogance, which is a form of pride.
As for your struggles as a father, employee, brother, and your desire to set an example for your children:
1. Ephesians 4:25-32 - "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
This passage encourages us to speak truthfully, work honestly, and use our words to build up others rather than grieve the Holy Spirit with evil speech.
2. Proverbs 13:24 - "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."
This verse emphasizes the importance of discipline and love as a parent. It's not easy, but being attentive and present in your children's lives will help them learn valuable lessons and grow into responsible adults. Do not interpret this verse as beating someone, or using a rod. It is metaphorical.
3. Colossians 3:12-14 - "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgiving them as the Lord forgave you."
This passage encourages us to put on various virtues, such as compassion, kindness, humility, and patience. Practicing these virtues will help you become a better father, brother, and employee while setting an example for your children.
Lastly, regarding your spiritual journey and the importance of remembering God's miracles:
Psalm 77:12-15 - "I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God. You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. You with your arm redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph."
This passage encourages us to remember God's deeds, wonders, and steadfast love. Reflecting on these experiences can help keep our faith strong and provide encouragement during difficult times.
I hope these Bible verses (all in ESV) offer comfort, encouragement, and guidance for your current situation. Remember that God is always with you, and He is the ultimate source of love, forgiveness, and strength. Keep striving to be a better person, and don't forget to lean on God during your spiritual journey. Finally, I will pray for you.
