To the pro-choice and the pro-life.

[TooCurious]

I think it's sad that anyone would be in this situation in the first place. I would encourage them to take responsibility for their actions - simply getting rid of the baby isn't taking responsibility. Ultimately, it's their choice, but I would discourage an abortion because the circumstances aren't dire enough to warrant one in my opinion.

I can understand you not liking the idea of abortion, but I'm confused by your assertion that having one "isn't taking responsibility." It's acknowledging that one is not currently in a position, financially, emotionally, or otherwise, to raise a child, and making a decision to remedy the situation. Not taking responsibility, to my mind, would be to have the child and put other people (family, friends, the State) in the position of having to take care of it for you, because you cannot.

 

[KET20]

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

I would discuss all of the available options with her. I would encourage her, since she is young, to sit down with me and work out how much money and time it takes to raise a child and to evaluate whether she really has those resources. I would also make it very clear that I do not intend to raise any more children (presumably having had all the ones I'll ever have) and that her decision to keep the baby is a very real and life-changing one. Will I babysit so she can go to class or work? Sure, unless I'm at work, in which case she's out of luck. Will I babysit so she can go out with the girls? Nope. She can hire someone to babysit if that's her plan. I would raise a grandchild while my kid was in high school, but even then my kid would get a job to help and would certainly not be leaving a baby with me so he/she could go out and party. Upon graduation from high school, I'd still help, but not as much. I'd help financially if it was necessary - and not so that mom can go out and get new designer shoes, but if it were necessary for the health and safety of my grandchild. I'd let her live with me if she needed to in order to be able to support herself and her child and so that she could go to college at least part-time. I just wouldn't take the baby for four years while she parties in the dorms. This all may sound harsh and I don't mean to say I'd kick her out on the street or something, but that there is a difference between me supporting her decision and supporting her. Having a baby is a big decision - it's stressful, time consuming, expensive, and I'm sure very rewarding - and it should not be taken lightly. Any child of mine that is faced with an unwanted pregnancy and chooses to have the baby will do so with the understanding that it is a choice. She does not have to have it, and if she chooses to she needs to support it as much as possible as it is her decision.

I'd totally support my child deciding to abort - I'd pay for it. I'd totally support adoption. I'd totally support my child's decision if she chose to have the baby - I'd make sure she had the needed health care and so on and I would do my best to make sure that mom and baby are healthy and safe - I just wouldn't raise it for her.

 

[quatona]

I think it's sad that anyone would be in this situation in the first place. I would encourage them to take responsibility for their actions - simply getting rid of the baby isn't taking responsibility.

I hate it when "they are not taking responsibility" is used as another term for saying "they take responsibility in a way I don´t like".
Doing that isn´t taking responsibility.

 

[SallyNow]

In both cases there is also the choice of adoption.

There is also the possibility of continuing school part-time. I would give my support and help take care of the child.

Most university programs can be stopped and then restarted at a later date. So, having a baby doesn't have to put a stop a woman's post-secondary education.

Of course, I'm in a nation with universal health care, so I wouldn't have to worry about the prenatal and pediatrician costs. I know that there are lot of people who do not have this.