Shallow repentance/forgiveness - cheap grace.

[hopeforhappiness]

Having an issue with a long-time work colleague. He was actually my best man.
He has always been very confident and is now doing something very important as he approaches retirement.
He talks about this thing continually. And when I tried to involve others in our discussions, it always reverts back to this thing. There was others' great suffering that needed to be shared, partly relating to the times we live in.
I wrote an email later to explain my less than compliant behaviour at our last meeting. A month later I got a reply with a weak apology, saying that being "insensitive" was part of his character (and which made him the successful manager he is - my gloss!). Now he wants to invite us back, with our forgiveness, so that, in my opinion, he can continue his monologue.
Well, the theological issue is, what value does my forgiveness have? Forgiveness is not cheap - look at what God had to do to forgive our sinfulness? The offence has to be accepted as a real offence. My friend certainly believes I have been too 'sensitive'.
I feel I should ask him to do something out of his comfort zone. Like helping me move house.
After all, we are told to produce fruit commensurate with our repentance.
If I just say "oh, that's all right", and then worse follow it up with "Oh, well, I was being too sensitive and anyway, this project of yours is rightly important to you", doesn't it cheapen the whole biblical theme of offence - repentance - forgiveness - fruit?

 

[Johan_1988]

If a person has only has a monologue in a discussion that requires dialogue I think he's on the wrong.
Some people can come across as rude and offensive, but if they speak the truth and allow others to talk I would cut them some slack. People from different backgrounds might not have so called "modern sensibility". Not that I would condone swearing or insults.

 

[Joyous Song]

Quote:
If I just say "oh, that's all right", and then worse follow it up with "Oh, well, I was being too sensitive and anyway, this project of yours is rightly important to you", doesn't it cheapen the whole biblical theme of offense - repentance - forgiveness - fruit? [/QUOTE]

Christ said to forgive one another seven times seventy times. Seven is perfect and ten is a large amount. Thus its not 490 times we forgive but to forgive perfectly, large pinnacle of perfection or as Christ forgave us on Calvary. Thus the fruit of forgiveness is not cheapened by another actions afterward. Indeed I've often felt that fruit we need to reach for is within us, that our forgiving changes us, making us more humble and meek. This in turn might help those we have forgiven also change, by follow our example.

 

[Tolworth John]

. Now he wants to invite us back, with our forgivenes

Invite you back to what?
A work meeting or to some house church or a bible study or what?

May I suggest you find out what you are being invited back to and what it's and are.
I ask suggest that you tell him you are not interested in taking about his projects untill an equal amount of time has already been spent talking and praying about other subjects and then he can broach his obsession.
Is in a three hour meeting, an hour yes on greetings and worship songs etc, then an hour on Christians in need and if this leaves forty minutes for his party piece then that time is given to it.

Otherwise do something else.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Having an issue with a long-time work colleague. He was actually my best man.
He has always been very confident and is now doing something very important as he approaches retirement.
He talks about this thing continually. And when I tried to involve others in our discussions, it always reverts back to this thing. There was others' great suffering that needed to be shared, partly relating to the times we live in.
I wrote an email later to explain my less than compliant behaviour at our last meeting. A month later I got a reply with a weak apology, saying that being "insensitive" was part of his character (and which made him the successful manager he is - my gloss!). Now he wants to invite us back, with our forgiveness, so that, in my opinion, he can continue his monologue.
Well, the theological issue is, what value does my forgiveness have? Forgiveness is not cheap - look at what God had to do to forgive our sinfulness? The offence has to be accepted as a real offence. My friend certainly believes I have been too 'sensitive'.
I feel I should ask him to do something out of his comfort zone. Like helping me move house.
After all, we are told to produce fruit commensurate with our repentance.
If I just say "oh, that's all right", and then worse follow it up with "Oh, well, I was being too sensitive and anyway, this project of yours is rightly important to you", doesn't it cheapen the whole biblical theme of offence - repentance - forgiveness - fruit?

Carrying an unforgiving heart is damaging to our walk with our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth. It would be impossible for the Holy Spirit to do a good work in us if we harbor hate and resentment for one another. The Holy Spirit will be quenched. Forgiving one another is one of the most difficult things to do but when we do, our burden will be lifted. It is the will of our Father that we lay all our burdens upon Him. Be blessed.

 

[Unqualified]

You don’t have to be his friend. You can forgive him and let him go.