When do we forgive?

[tonychanyt]

Luke 17:

3b If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.

You can wait until he repents, but you don't have to. Note that Jesus did not say that if your brother did not repent, don't forgive him. While on the cross, Luke 23:

34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Peter was inquisitive and wanted to know more, Matthew 18:

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Jesus proceeded to tell the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant who refused to forgive his brother:

32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

What if the brother refuses to acknowledge his offense against you?

See How to resolve conflicts among Christians?.

In any case, we should always have a forgiving heart.

Paul summarized it nicely in Ephesians 4:

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Colossians 3:

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Forgiveness is a group thing. You may have inadvertently offended your brother at times. Be quick to forgive one another.

Proverbs 17:

9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Do we have to forgive blindly?

You don't have to. However, it is wise to forgive even if someone does not repent. Do yourself a favor: forgive and set yourself free to love.

The Father forgives you iff you forgive others.

There is no free lunch in repentance and forgiveness.

When do we forgive?

You are doing yourself a favor when you do. You are hurting yourself when you don't. You choose when.

 

[rturner76]

I think we should forgive whenever possible. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive so it takes time. Also I heard in a homily that sometimes we must forgive more than once if the wound is cut deep. Still, it is our calling to forgive so we must like I say, to the best of our ability

 

[AlexB23]

I think we should forgive whenever possible. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive so it takes time. Also I heard in a homily that sometimes we must forgive more than once if the wound is cut deep. Still, it is our calling to forgive so we must like I say, to the best of our ability

Sometimes it takes a decade to forgive. In 2012, my parents and I had a layover in Iceland en-route to the European mainland, so we went to the Blue Lagoon, long before all the Instagram influencers made the admissions price balloon in the late-2010s. At the lagoon, there were a lot of tourists. One tourist had on a black shirt with white English text that said something along the lines of "[censored] Christianity". He never approached us, but I was people watching and saw him >50 ft (20 m) away. That made my blood boil, and I asked my parents why anyone would wear a shirt like that. My parents said that some folks may not understand the gravity of that phrase, especially a small subset of irreligious people. Recently, I prayed and forgave this stranger in my prayers a few months ago, that he may be forgiven by myself and God, and that hopefully he seeks Christ.


According to the teachings of Christianity as presented in the Bible, forgiveness is an essential aspect of living a Christ-like life. Here are some Biblical verses that speak to the topic of when we should forgive others. All verses are in NIV:

1. Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." This verse emphasizes the importance of extending forgiveness to others as a prerequisite for receiving God's forgiveness.

2. Ephesians 4:31-32: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." This passage calls for believers to forgive one another as they have been forgiven by God.

3. Colossians 3:12-13: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." This verse encourages believers to clothe themselves with various virtues, including forgiveness.

4. Luke 17:3-4: "So watch yourselves.“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”" These verses teach that even if someone asks for forgiveness repeatedly, we are called to extend it to them.

These Biblical passages suggest that forgiving others is not only a requirement for receiving God's forgiveness but also an essential component of living a loving and compassionate life. Therefore, the answer to the question "when should we forgive others?" is simply: always.

In summary, as believers in Christ, we are called to forgive others when they wrong us, just as God has forgiven us. We are also encouraged to extend forgiveness repeatedly if needed and to do so with compassion, kindness, and humility.

 

[Diamond7]

What if the brother refuses to acknowledge his offense against you?

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with us. Corrie Tan Boon encountered the cruelest guard in the concentration camp she was in. He said that he knew God forgave him, but did she forgive him. No she did not, but God did a work in her heart so that she was able to forgive. Not for his sake but for her sake.