Physical attraction or lack thereoff when considering a marriage partner?

[OLDoMiNiON]

Amen Sister!
Can she get an Amen??

 

[OracleX]

Today at 05:35 PM Exodus said this in Post #19

Ok. How much should I be attracted PHYSICALLY to think I have a basis for marriage. I am 75% attracted. But I have been 95% attracted in my previous relationship. And I was hoping to get around 90% this time. Sorry to be using numbers, but I thought that is the best way to communicate the situation. Don't forget there is also a 90% mental and personality attraction.

Oh man I wished life worked like that.  Everything was in numbers and if it added up then you did it.

Life is anything but that.  Even if it was like that, once you had things added up God would probably shake things up.  Very rarely do our lives just flow as we expect or for some even want. 

As far as the topic at hand.  You have to do what you feel is right in your heart.  If it doesn't feel right in your heart now and you can't get past it then that is a problem.  Don't go against your heart.  If you have any doubts about this sort of thing than you really need to pause and think about it.  Marriage is for life and nothing that should be taken lightly, although I am not saying that is what you are doing.  I think I must have missed something ... is this someone you met from the net?

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Oh yeah, i forgot: PRAY ABOUT IT!

 

[IslandBreeze]

Today at 12:05 AM OLDoMiNiON said this in Post #23

Amen Sister!
Can she get an Amen??

AMEN!!!

 

[Glenn316]

 Maybe it's me, but some of the most "beautiful" (read worldly beauty) women I've met were airheads or were ethically challenged, or just downright ugly on the inside. I was attracted to my wife physically, yes, but she is not a super model by any means. In fact we both could afford to loose a few pounds. What interested me more when we first met was the fact that she was a Christian, and a Baptist too!

 

[OracleX]

* agrees with Glenn *

 

[Exodus]

Thank you all very much. I have decided to take my time, and decide carefully for the long journey of marriage. God Bless you all for sharing your perspectives with me. If you have more to say, keep it coming. Thanks.

 

[rev_prodeji]

its all about the connection you have with the person..cause nomatter what someday you will both look like dried-up prunes...me and my baby-girl dont even have much in common(countrygirl-citybrat)..just let God decide and He will play match-maker..you will know it is right

 

[LN]

Attraction is a very interesting thing... I think that two people could easily be attracted to one another who would not be attractive according to the world's standards. To me, attraction is really chemistry. Do you laugh together, feel romantic together, have in-depth meaningful discussions together... that is what makes attraction last long-term.

I also think its really important for a marriage. I dated someone before my husband who was nice, polite, smart, considerate and a Jewish believer like myself but no chemistry. I told myself it would come and stayed too long in the relationship. When I met my husband, we both just "knew." There was a lot of attraction/chemistry and we were on the same page when it came to our beliefs. I'm a very blessed woman!

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Yes exactly! It's not as simple as, "Is she nice looking or not?", it goes a lot deeper then that, just like Love does... It's not just about the person on the outside!

 

[hotknikkels]

I agree totally with Erin, go girl

 

[S Walch]

You have to love your wife on the outside as well as the inside.

I don't think it would work if it was one or the other.

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Yeah, Walch, thats what we have been saying

 

[coastie]

13th March 2003 at 05:30 PM S Walch said this in Post #36

You have yo love your wife on the outside as well as the inside.

I don't think it would work if it was one or the other.

That is incorrect.

My aunt on my wife's side (I promise I'm not talking about you, uncle dave ) is very attractive and she married a very average looking bus driver. This aunt could probably marry many different men, but she chose her current husband because he is an extremely nice guy and genuinely loved her.

They look like the world's most mismatched couple, yet they seem totally in love.

Now from personal experience, I thought my wife was attractive when we were dating, then when we got married, the more I grew to love her, the more beautiful she became. Now that she's pregnant, when she thinks she look's her worst, I am absolutely floored with how beautiful she has become.

A person's looks are not important. To judge a person on their appearance is to be a shallow and naive person. I can say that, because I used to do the same thing.

 

[S Walch]

Today at 03:27 PM coastie said this in Post #38



That is incorrect.

My aunt on my wife's side (I promise I'm not talking about you, uncle dave ) is very attractive and she married a very average looking bus driver. This aunt could probably marry many different men, but she chose her current husband because he is an extremely nice guy and genuinely loved her.

They look like the world's most mismatched couple, yet they seem totally in love.

Now from personal experience, I thought my wife was attractive when we were dating, then when we got married, the more I grew to love her, the more beautiful she became. Now that she's pregnant, when she thinks she look's her worst, I am absolutely floored with how beautiful she has become.

A person's looks are not important. To judge a person on their appearance is to be a shallow and naive person. I can say that, because I used to do the same thing.

Do you mean to say, that your aunt didnt like the look of her husband when she married him?

Or, are you saying she liked the way he looked - but liked his personality more?

If it's the last one - then yes - what I said is true.

Oh - and we grow in love - just as you showed in your last post

 

[coastie]

Do you mean to say, that your aunt didnt like the look of her husband when she married him?

Or, are you saying she liked the way he looked - but liked his personality more?

Niether, the point is that she was more interested in him than his looks.

 

[S Walch]

Today at 06:59 PM coastie said this in Post #41



Niether, the point is that she was more interested in him than his looks.

Well, yes - I would rather be more interested in my wifes personallity than her looks.

Although - I don't think you could marry someone whom you couldn't stand the sight of.

So looks are apart of it - just that it shouldn't be the most imortant thing when looking for a marriage partner.

 

[unitedistand]

well, like inteligence, looks can be a blessing. but looks should be very minute in scale when choosing a life partner, it's more dealing with if God wants you for them and vice versa.

 

[coastie]

Although - I don't think you could marry someone whom you couldn't stand the sight of.

You are missing the point. Looks shouldn't matter. Granted, most people are not liekly to walk up and start talking to someone who is ugly. BUt that's selfish.

Let's say your future wife is horribly burned. I have seen plenty of burn victims in my life, it ain't pretty and they never will be. So what then? You say "You are hideous now!" and walk out the door.

I was trying to be nice to you, but since you refuse to let it go... I can tell you without guilt that your opinion is based on worldly values.

 

[AndOne]

I would be a complete and utter liar if I sat here and said that I started dating my wife based on her personality/intelligence alone.

I would also be a liar if I said that I married her based upon physical attraction.

I think initially - we all "hook up" based upon some kind of physical attraction. I don' t think its "worldly" or wrong - but reality.

Now - after getting to know my wife - through courtship/dating - I truly developed a sincere love based upon who she is - not what she looks like.

When getting married - my wife's looks played no part or bearing upon that decison - we got married for much deeper reasons - and it is for these types of reasons that I believe folks should get married.

I am here to tell you - that I don't look the same way I did thirteen years ago - and its a good thing my beloved wife didn't marry me on "looks" or she would have left me long ago.