Physical attraction or lack thereoff when considering a marriage partner?

[OLDoMiNiON]

Exodus (the guy from CF, not the book ):

I have a question that maybe a little off the topic. but I didn't know where else to post it. Here is my question:

How much weight should one give to great physical attraction or lack thereoff when considering a marriage partner?

Thanks for the help.

Good question! What do you all think?

 

[Didymus]

hmm I thhink this changes as we mature --notice i did NOT say grow older and here s why. Sure we all want the gourgeous hunk but a mature person realizes there is a lot more to a person then looks. And looks can vanish very quickly. So I say go by personality rather then by looks. If i was judged on looks I ld still be single .

 

[Bodidily]

I think physical attraction is very important. I mean, how can you spend the rest of your life with somebody you can't stand the sight of!? it just doesnt seem right! lol

I believe God has somebody for everybody, and i believe that somebody will be your (and my) perfect partner. The right guy/girl will be incredibly attractive physcially (at least, in our own perception, but who else matters? who cares what other ppl think!) and have an amazing personality that matches your own perfectly! just, ideal in everyway!

So, i think a lot of weight should be given to physical attraction when considering marriage, but as i said, the right guy/girl will be gorgeous!! lol

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Sure we all want the gourgeous hunk

We do??????

 

[Didymus]

let me rephase that --we all want the gougeous hunk of babe. feel beet now ?

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Hotknikkles in other thread:
very good question - think of it this way - yeh you gotta be attracted to the person but all that will fade away when you are both 50 - 60 years old and then you have to think what is left???

I think attraction is part but not parcel of marriage to start of with - there are loads of other elements to consider - for example, what you both like, what are your dreams, are you friends, are you compatiable - spiritually as well as emotionally, and loads of other stuff...

But would you wanna be with someone you are not attracted to??? I know that I wouldn't!!!

Yes kev, but you can be attracted to someone by their personality as much as, or even more than by their looks..

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

let me rephase that --we all want the gougeous hunk of babe. feel beet now ?

hehe, yes, much better

 

[IslandBreeze]

Trust me--you don't want to wake up next to someone you don't find attractive!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone you find attractive. There's a reason God gave us different types that we like--"Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder."

 

[Didymus]

darn if only I could type !! you are still atracted to good looking people when you are older it s just that there aren t so many of them in your age group around

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

"Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder."

I always preffered "Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder"


Na, you're right Cammie!

 

[Didymus]

good point. and a handsome man with a mean disposition is no catch --trust me on that one. One of the nicest guys i know is kinda homely but women would fight to have him--I know he s my neighbor and several of us feel the same way.

 

[Bodidily]

lol - ok im freaked out now!

 

[OracleX]

Inner beauty is the most important thing.

You can find that person that makes you drule at the sight of them but can have the personality and inner person of stinking garbage dump.

On the other hand you can find that person that in the worlds eyes is ugly and yet thier inner beauty and devotion to God over flows.

Sometimes it comes down to what you want. Would you turn down a person who is a beautiful child of God who loves you has wonderful inner beauty because she doesn't fit your profile of a good looking person? Is doing so love? Where is the problem in this equation?

 

[Exodus]

I guess the response from Oracle makes me think more out of the box. In my situation, I am sure of inner beauty.

On the other hand, if I have to be very honest, as a human, I have needs. Although we don't always admit it, we are always giving some weight to looks. Also, God's best can be beautiful inside, as well as outside.

So it's a question of weighing things. I would say that chances of me encountering a person like her that fits me mentally and in many other details again in my life are only average. And the only thing I am unsure of so far is the physical attraction ( I am only 75% attracted to her from the pictures i have seen of her.)

And I know that even that will fade significantly after 20 or so years, but why should physical attraction be only average for those many years. Do you advice that because I like her inner person, I will also be madly inlove with her physically?

 

[Exodus]

By the way, when I meant God's best, I meant God's best FOR ME. Just so we don't get confused.

 

[Exodus]

hello, where has every body gone. One minute, I get resposes every seconds (thanks a million by the way), the next minute, no response at all. Where did you all go?

 

[seebs]

If you're not attracted to someone, a large portion of the basis of a marriage won't be there, and that's a Bad Thing.

 

[Exodus]

Ok. How much should I be attracted PHYSICALLY to think I have a basis for marriage. I am 75% attracted. But I have been 95% attracted in my previous relationship. And I was hoping to get around 90% this time. Sorry to be using numbers, but I thought that is the best way to communicate the situation. Don't forget there is also a 90% mental and personality attraction.

 

[the_man]

Today at 03:35 PM Exodus said this in Post #19

Ok. How much should I be attracted PHYSICALLY to think I have a basis for marriage. I am 75% attracted. But I have been 95% attracted in my previous relationship. And I was hoping to get around 90% this time. Sorry to be using numbers, but I thought that is the best way to communicate the situation. Don't forget there is also a 90% mental and personality attraction.

Exodus, it's not simple enough for you to put numbers too.  There is no equation or threshold for physical attractiveness that can be given to you.  Physical attraction is important.  There are more important things (such as the persons faith and relationship with Christ.  There are things that are less important, such as the persons TV viewing habits.  In the end it is up to you, to decide if this person meets your standards of physical attraction (just as you would decide if said person meets your standards of ethics/morals). 

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

Well, to be honest Exodus, i'd get to know her properly first... i mean face to face! Otherwise, you may not find things out about the person that you *need* to know for a successful marriage!
To be honest, i don't think the phone is enough to form a foudation for your future marriage, what if they simply are not telling you everything?