I go to church on a regular basis and I stay after the service to socialize but I find it hard to connect with many of my church members. They are my friends but I don’t have a real close bond with none of them because we don’t have too much in common. Is this issue common?
Short Answer:
Yes, cos a lot of 20 somethings are into worldly stuff, and the steps of going to church in America are: Hop in car, sit in pew, listen to long 60 sermon sitting next to grey haired individuals, hop in car, lock ourselves up in our houses. So, most church members leave as soon as the pastor or priest says "you are dismissed". Welcome to individualism. It will only get worse as the world becomes influenced by toxicity. However, it is still possible to make friends at church by joining weekday or weekend church groups.
A better way of going to church is: Hop in car, or take a bike, sit in pew for 20 minutes, break into groups, discuss Bible for 20 minutes, and then make friends.
Long Answer:
There could be several reasons why making Christian friends at church might be challenging for a young person in the modern era. Here are some potential factors that could contribute to this:
1. Busy Schedules and Distractions: With the increasing pace of life, people have busy schedules, and finding time for social activities can be challenging. Additionally, distractions like social media, work, school, and other commitments can make it difficult to connect with others in a meaningful way at church.
2. Changing Cultural Norms: The modern era has seen a shift in cultural norms around socializing and building relationships. People are more likely to connect through digital means than in-person, which can make it challenging for young adults to form deep connections with others at church.
3. Generational Differences: Age gaps between younger and older generations in churches can make it challenging for young adults to connect. Older members of the church community may be more resistant to change, making it difficult for younger people to feel welcome and included.
4. Lack of Intentionality: Making friends requires intentional effort, and some young adults may not be putting in the necessary effort to build relationships at church. They might attend services regularly but not engage in small groups or other activities where they can meet and connect with others.
5. Fear of Rejection: Young adults may be hesitant to put themselves out there and risk rejection or feeling awkward in social situations. This fear can prevent them from taking the first step in building friendships with others at church.
6. Shyness or Social Anxiety: Some young adults may be naturally shy or have social anxiety, making it challenging for them to initiate conversations and form relationships with others. This can make church a daunting place to be.
7. Different Interests: Young adults may have different interests than the older members of their church community, making it difficult for them to connect on a deeper level. This can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, even if they attend services regularly.
8. Lack of Mentorship: Young adults may benefit from the guidance and mentorship of older church members, but this can be challenging to establish if there is a lack of intentional effort to connect across generations. This can make it difficult for young adults to feel like they belong and have a sense of community within their church.
Overall, the reasons why making Christian friends at church might be challenging for a young person in the 2020s are complex and multifaceted. While some factors may be outside of our control, such as changing cultural norms or generational differences, there are steps young adults can take to increase their chances of building meaningful relationships within their church community. This might include attending small group activities, volunteering for church programs or events, and being intentional about initiating conversations with others. Additionally, seeking out mentorship from older members of the church community can help young adults feel more connected and supported in their faith journey.
