I'm not sure what to do

[angelrock1991]

I really like my best guy friend and my other friend says that he likes me based on the way he's acting. I am way too shy to tell him how I feel; what do I do?

 

[xJesus.Freakx]

Do you feel like you could marry him?

 

[angelrock1991]

how would you know that without dating the person?

 

[Godzila]

you would know , and you don't have to date the person.

hang out with him as a friend, and don't pour your heart out and lay it all on the table.

give it time and learn more about him as a friend.

 

[angelrock1991]

i've been his friend for six years

 

[Godzila]

be a friend until you both are ready to marry.
Then date.

 

[Dark_Lite]

Asking someone out that you are close friends with is generally disastrous. It has happened to me twice. In both cases the friendships have been preserved because we are indeed just that close. But it's that whole "friends zone" thing.

By the way, you're never going to be ready to marry unless you actually do date in the first place. You can't really find out much about the person you're spending the rest of your life with if you don't know them. That is what dating is for: to get to know the person.

You can feel like you could marry someone, but as you find out more about them, that feeling may change. Or, it could be strengthened.

Your overarching goal is generally "marriage," but not dating someone until they agree to marry you is kind of a backwards approach.

In regards to your situation, you have two choices in front of you. Either take the gamble and find out what he truly thinks about you in this way, or let things stay the way they are and keep what you have. If you decide to take the gamble, you need to ease into it. Try spending more time alone with him, etc. Just dumping everything out in front of him is also a bad idea. It may be more than he's ready for.

Make sure you are not overanalyzing the signs. You will have to separate your head from your heart. It is very difficult, and practically no one does it completely (I know I didn't/don't).

Also keep in mind your age, and what will be happening in the next 4 years. The next 4 years will be one of your life's biggest set of changes. So many things change in 4 years. Beliefs, friends, locations. I don't know if you are going to college or not, or if you are both going to the same college. Long distance relationships don't work either. They will more than likely fail, because you are separate from your significant other for so long and you only see them very rarely.

All of what I said above could be false. There are always exceptions to the rules. Always. But of course, the rules are the rules for a reason. My final answer is that you'll only truly know if you take the gamble (or if he does). Without taking the gamble, things will likely stay the same as they are. If you do, things could go great, or they may end badly. You could get hurt, but you will pull through it. True friendships pull through those types of things as well. So, I say, what have you got to lose?

 

[Godzila]

^ what you said is exactly what i knew people would say

and Yes, you can know someone without dating them.

I also never said "agree to marry".

It didn't feel right reading what you type. Sounds like oppinions from your experience and perception rather than biblically based

 

[Bampot]

Maybe you can start dropping a couple hints here and there about how you feel and see if he returns them. That's what I did with my boyfriend and it worked. If you really want something with him you'll have to open yourself up a bit. There's no need to be shy.

 

[Dark_Lite]

^ what you said is exactly what i knew people would say

and Yes, you can know someone without dating them.

I also never said "agree to marry".

It didn't feel right reading what you type. Sounds like oppinions from your experience and perception rather than biblically based

"Agree to marry" may have been a bit of a stretch in interpretation. But the way you implied it, I see the following playing in my mind: guy and girl sit down and have a random talk about marriage, then they agree to date, and then later get married. That doesn't really work. If you ask someone single if they're ready to get married out of the blue, most people would say definitely not without knowing someone first. They may be "ready" in a general sense but they're not going to be like "Sup. Let's get engaged" to the first person they meet.

What I wrote is based off my perceptions and experiences. They, combined with knowledge that I learn from other sources such as the Bible, are the best tool I have for determining how to correct my mistakes and better my actions. You can learn about someone as a friend, but to truly know them intimately, in such a way that can prepare you for marriage, you will have to date them.

If you mean "ready" in a general sense of getting married then I agree with you more. But if you mean "ready" in the sense of marrying someone specific before even asking them out on a date, I cannot agree with that.

 

[Godzila]

^ i read my reply, sounded kind of harsh, Hope you didn't feel offended.

When I said ready to marry, means YOU have decided that you can commit to the possibility of marriage. This also includes bringing a child into the world, raising a family, if that is what God's will is.

Dating is how you would know someone on the intimite level. If you're not ready to get married, what are you doing? The bible says FLEE from sexual immorality.
The world says we should be dating, but God says we should be patiently waiting.

That man don't love you like he need to
If he ain't following Christ, he can't lead you
I ain't tryin' to deceive you

I know he look better than most men
But without Christ, looks are no reason for bragging and boasting

You got your heart on him
Now you can't depart from him
You knew from the beginning not to even start on him
Compromising your faith for sex
Hurting yourself and God
Cause you outside of marital context
What's next?
Mami show respect for your body
Instead of getting naked and naughty
Like sex is a hobby
You know what you're supposed to do
Let him loose and cling to the God that wants to get close to you

You've been blessed as a chosen few
Mami, if ain't rollin' wit Christ
Then don't let him roll wit you
Cause you've been blessed as a chosen few
And if ain't rollin' wit God
Then don't let him roll wit you
WAIT!

CHORUS:

I know you're the apple of momma's eye
A star in your daddy's sky
But God knows you living a lie
You giving a guy, everything your husband deserves
It's absurd
Don't follow your feelings, just follow The Word

You wanna be in a relationship
Well, you can give him your all, but how deep can the relations get
If your God's on the sideline
You won't be happy I promise
Until you understand, that God is the lifeline
He ain't pleased with lust
So even if it feels right
Remember, he ain't pleased with us, when we
Let our emotions loose without a ring on the finger
It's only gonna come back to sting ya
Don't let the singers sing you sweet lullabies
Without giving The King's sweet love a try
It ain't none better
Who else you know,that would give up his life
Just to love you forever
WAIT!

CHORUS:


I know you thought that ya'll could win together
Ya'll been together
But all ya'll do is sin together
You're wasting your own time
You keep deceiving your mind
Saying that this is part of God's design
Knowing he treating you good
Know his ways is nice
But he can't love you like he should
He's not engaged to Christ
And you know this ain't the man for you
But you hold on like God ain't got better plans for you
The whole worlds says 'you should be dating'
God says you should be serving him while your patiently waitin'
Everybody rushin and racin
Huggin' and kissin' and hold hands, all before their days end
Yea, I know it's hard but TRUST
I wouldn't waste my breath on this song if it wasn't a MUST

The same God that made you
The same God that died for your sins and saved you
HE ain't tryin' to play you, WAIT!

CHORUS:
Your ready to go'..wait!
Can't take no more'.wait!
I know it's hard but, God is never late
Don't follow your feelings'wait!
Just follow HIS Will and'..wait!
Girl, serve the Lord and don't anticipate.
WAIT!

 

[Dark_Lite]

^ i read my reply, sounded kind of harsh, Hope you didn't feel offended.

Nope. Not offended.

When I said ready to marry, means YOU have decided that you can commit to the possibility of marriage. This also includes bringing a child into the world, raising a family, if that is what God's will is.

Then we are in agreement more, I think. If it's just ready for marriage in general, that makes sense.

Dating is how you would know someone on the intimite level. If you're not ready to get married, what are you doing? The bible says FLEE from sexual immorality.
The world says we should be dating, but God says we should be patiently waiting.

Well, dating can be non-sexual. I know plenty of people who date and don't have sex outside of marriage. They're saving it. Dating should have the ultimate goal of marriage, but people always do not enter into it that way. The goal may just be companionship and someone to share deeper feelings with. Yet, even if marriage is not their original intention, once they find the right person and settle down, a blessing has come of it.

 

[bzuka]

it's dangerous way because you can stay without friend and without guy so think it over again and again

 

[Walk.by.Faith]

I agree with Godzila!! Your answers rock dude!

 

[MHMarks]

Seek God. Trust me, if your 18 it probably won't work out anyway.....I don't want that to sound really harsh, but look at how many relationships work out in highschool and freshman year of college and look at how many don't. Instead of asking yourself should you tell him/date him. Ask yourself if that friendship is worth being potentially ruined for a few months of 'dating' that'd probably just be a physical strain on you both anyway. Seriously, think about it, pray about it

 

[MHMarks]

Well, dating can be non-sexual. I know plenty of people who date and don't have sex outside of marriage. They're saving it. Dating should have the ultimate goal of marriage, but people always do not enter into it that way. The goal may just be companionship and someone to share deeper feelings with. Yet, even if marriage is not their original intention, once they find the right person and settle down, a blessing has come of it.

Sexual doesn't just mean sex. holding hands is sexual...i mean don't get me wrong i'm going to hold hands with my gf, but just wanted to point that out