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[Multifavs]

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[Maria Billingsley]

I have been hesitating to mention these things but I should tell somebody about them, so here we go...

I have been continuing to have a lot of negative thoughts recently. I feel so hurt about many things that have happened in my life. I've been bullied and sometimes treated cruelly throughout my life: at school, online, and at work. Nearly all the friends I've had abandoned me (to the few friends I still have from CF, I greatly appreciate your friendship). My life hasn't turned out at all like I hoped it would.

For months I've been having the feeling that the whole world hates me and/or thinks I'm crazy. It makes me very depressed. Mostly this comes from the bad memories I have of the time I was persecuted and betrayed by people I thought were my friends. People who claimed to care about me yet never spoke to me again after the event. CF has been toxic to me as well, which is why I'm not very active anymore. Sometimes when people weren't nice to me or abandoned me, it was partially (if not all) my fault because I wasn't being very nice either, and I didn't even realize it until it was too late to apologize. So I feel bad not only about how I was treated but also about how I acted.

Then, I made a Youtube account over a month ago after years of part of me wanting to join and part of me being hesitant to join. But I have been thinking multiple times since then that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. The fact that more than a few of my videos have been "disliked" (I don't think dislikes should even be allowed, honestly), including some of my recent work, has made me very upset. I now feel like I'm a terrible musician. To make matters worse, I left a kind comment on a video a few days ago, and the next day when I looked it was gone! Now I'm worried that the creator of the video (who doesn't know me) doesn't like me and deleted my comment on purpose. I don't know if I should stay on Youtube or leave, because if it's a toxic place that doesn't like me and makes me feel bad about myself, why am I even using it? But on the other hand, if I delete my account I will never be able to share any more of my music or videos.

To be honest, I have a very hard time loving others these days because so many people are unkind, selfish, and evil. I don't even like myself because of all the foolish mistakes I've made.

I'm sorry this was so long. If you don't want to read through the whole thing, please just say a prayer for me. Thank you.

Care to share your channel on YouTube?

 

[Multifavs]

Care to share your channel on YouTube?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9DMDRlQz_5RBlwDR8ct9Ow

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Love Fluffy! Build on that. Babies would love it.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9DMDRlQz_5RBlwDR8ct9Ow

Good job!
Blessings

 

[Unqualified]

Jesus will always like you. Have a relationship with Him. Don’t worry about anybody else. With him on your side you can endure anything.

 

[Benjamin Müller]

I feel like I could have written your post.

The problem with social media is that we're so interconnected with people now, but it's not a place where you can build a realistic friendship. It's ironic, really. People are and always will be closer to the people they have in real life, and I'm inclined to believe that we really only ever have 1-2 real close knit friends. Social media gives an illusion of friendliness and brotherhood, but at the end of the day we're staring at a computer screen not a person. So people online will just up and leave messages, boards etc. especially when real life is more demanding.

All of the internet is toxic because there's no repercussions for insulting one another or getting into arguments, so people are literally on their worse behavior every where on the internet--even CF. Some people just like to mean so they dislike something or insult something. But then there's the other people who use followers, the number friends, the number of likes as a self-esteem booster and it's all very shallow.

Just like the content you post being directed at a specific audience, our personalities are directed for certain audiences. And the rarer the content, the less audience we typically have because people like to be with others who are relatable (or easy to control).

I like your YT content, brings back nostalgic feelings. I played Sonic on Dream Cast and loved Sonic; my sister has the comics.

You cannot and will not please everyone. There are people who find reason to tear others down. The problem is them, not you. Keep doing what you love to do. I understand the disappointment, though. It's like. . .why is it so hard for people to just be nice? You can disable comments on YT videos by the way. I'm not sure if you can disable the like/unlike button. And you can also make your work private or unlisted. So people with the link are the only ones who can view it and not the general public.

 

[peacefulseeker]

Social media can be a posiitve experience but one has to block/ignore those who have no real interest in positive and constructive contribution.

I know this doesn't tsngbly help you at this juncture, but for what it's worth, I have been going through hell on earth for the last four months, with no end in sight. It is too extensive to extrapolate on here right now, but, I just want you to know you are never alone. Even if it's on this forum, we are real people. The internet is a modern form of communication and often typng is a more.comfortable modality to express oneself. It definitely is for me most of the time.

God Bless you. May he look over you and all of us.

 

[trophy33]

You cannot change the world, but you can change yourself.

Becoming more resilient to negative reactions is the only way that is sustainable for your long term health.

You need to find a way to deal with reality (yes, many people will not like you or your work or your opinions etc.). Safe spaces are not reality, they are just hiding places that make you even more sensitive to even smaller negative reactions (like dislikes) when you go out of them to the real world.

Negative reactions are more important than positive reactions, because they are a chance for you to change/correct your behavior and to become stronger in character and better in what you do. If they are constructive, of course.

 

[Petros2015]

I don't know if I should stay on Youtube or leave, because if it's a toxic place that doesn't like me and makes me feel bad about myself, why am I even using it? But on the other hand, if I delete my account I will never be able to share any more of my music or videos.

I think you are doing great, you should stay. But don't stay for the like/dislikes stay for your creativity

 

[fhansen]

I have been hesitating to mention these things but I should tell somebody about them, so here we go...

I have been continuing to have a lot of negative thoughts recently. I feel so hurt about many things that have happened in my life. I've been bullied and sometimes treated cruelly throughout my life: at school, online, and at work. Nearly all the friends I've had abandoned me (to the few friends I still have from CF, I greatly appreciate your friendship). My life hasn't turned out at all like I hoped it would.

For months I've been having the feeling that the whole world hates me and/or thinks I'm crazy. It makes me very depressed. Mostly this comes from the bad memories I have of the time I was persecuted and betrayed by people I thought were my friends. People who claimed to care about me yet never spoke to me again after the event. CF has been toxic to me as well, which is why I'm not very active anymore. Sometimes when people weren't nice to me or abandoned me, it was partially (if not all) my fault because I wasn't being very nice either, and I didn't even realize it until it was too late to apologize. So I feel bad not only about how I was treated but also about how I acted.

Then, I made a Youtube account over a month ago after years of part of me wanting to join and part of me being hesitant to join. But I have been thinking multiple times since then that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. The fact that more than a few of my videos have been "disliked" (I don't think dislikes should even be allowed, honestly), including some of my recent work, has made me very upset. I now feel like I'm a terrible musician. To make matters worse, I left a kind comment on a video a few days ago, and the next day when I looked it was gone! Now I'm worried that the creator of the video (who doesn't know me) doesn't like me and deleted my comment on purpose. I don't know if I should stay on Youtube or leave, because if it's a toxic place that doesn't like me and makes me feel bad about myself, why am I even using it? But on the other hand, if I delete my account I will never be able to share any more of my music or videos.

To be honest, I have a very hard time loving others these days because so many people are unkind, selfish, and evil. I don't even like myself because of all the foolish mistakes I've made.

I'm sorry this was so long. If you don't want to read through the whole thing, please just say a prayer for me. Thank you.

I can relate-completely. But I've found that my focus: my prayers, my attention, my desire to please-must be on God, not man. Past hurts stir up our egos-and keep us more like the world than like Him. It's hard to love a neighbor while their slapping us in the face. And while we're not to be doormats, we're to stand up for truth and righteousness within ourselves first of all-whether or not the world appreciates it. The world's values are skewed- tending towards desire for self-glory-so we're bound to treat each other wrong. When our focus is on God then we are no longer trying to impress any human-and we understand why we sin against each other-and we personally don't take it so seriously anymore. The world's pursuits can all become sort of silly to us, in fact. It's about Him, not us. And we can pray that He helps get our focus off of ourselves and onto Him.

 

[Benjamin Müller]

Past hurts stir up our egos-and keep us more like the world than like Him.

I don't think there's a like x infinity button, but I wish there was. This is such a good point.

 

[angelsaroundme]

Taking a look at your videos, I wonder if the dislikes are from there being no sound on many of them. I understand not wanting to put your voice out there. But without there at least being the freely usable music Youtube has, this may give some people an odd feeling. A lot of people are uncomfortable with silence. Some theorize it triggers a feeling of rejection, which could then make them angry. Anyways, I think the majority of speedpaint type videos have music if no one is talking.

You've alluded to the past event before. We can't control what thoughts pop up in our head. But we can choose to ignore them once we have them. If instead of ignoring the thought, you ruminate on it, it's like relieving a painful experience, and it makes you sad and angry again and again. This then influences how you see people, leading to a glass half empty perspective. Your vision becomes clouded by the fixation on the past rather than someone being kind in the present. It is better to forgive others and ourselves. Otherwise, the past holds us like an anchor, drowning us in a sea of negativity. Forgive and let the past be the past. Today is the day the Lord has made.

The more we see the good in others, the more we see the good in ourselves. The more we see the good in ourselves, the more we see the good in others.

 

[peaceful-forest]

I have been hesitating to mention these things but I should tell somebody about them, so here we go...

I have been continuing to have a lot of negative thoughts recently. I feel so hurt about many things that have happened in my life. I've been bullied and sometimes treated cruelly throughout my life: at school, online, and at work. Nearly all the friends I've had abandoned me (to the few friends I still have from CF, I greatly appreciate your friendship). My life hasn't turned out at all like I hoped it would.

For months I've been having the feeling that the whole world hates me and/or thinks I'm crazy. It makes me very depressed. Mostly this comes from the bad memories I have of the time I was persecuted and betrayed by people I thought were my friends. People who claimed to care about me yet never spoke to me again after the event. CF has been toxic to me as well, which is why I'm not very active anymore. Sometimes when people weren't nice to me or abandoned me, it was partially (if not all) my fault because I wasn't being very nice either, and I didn't even realize it until it was too late to apologize. So I feel bad not only about how I was treated but also about how I acted.

Then, I made a Youtube account over a month ago after years of part of me wanting to join and part of me being hesitant to join. But I have been thinking multiple times since then that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. The fact that more than a few of my videos have been "disliked" (I don't think dislikes should even be allowed, honestly), including some of my recent work, has made me very upset. I now feel like I'm a terrible musician. To make matters worse, I left a kind comment on a video a few days ago, and the next day when I looked it was gone! Now I'm worried that the creator of the video (who doesn't know me) doesn't like me and deleted my comment on purpose. I don't know if I should stay on Youtube or leave, because if it's a toxic place that doesn't like me and makes me feel bad about myself, why am I even using it? But on the other hand, if I delete my account I will never be able to share any more of my music or videos.

To be honest, I have a very hard time loving others these days because so many people are unkind, selfish, and evil. I don't even like myself because of all the foolish mistakes I've made.

I'm sorry this was so long. If you don't want to read through the whole thing, please just say a prayer for me. Thank you.

I can understand your experiences because I've been through them myself. When I was growing up and going to public school, my so-called friends did some bad stuff to me and ended up deserting me.

Any website can be toxic. People are just mean for no reason on the Internet. They can leave mean comments for no reason; they hate you for no reason; they might give an ingenuine thumbs down just because of who you are, not because of your content. The nice comment you made on a video - I think it's possible that YouTube censored it. YouTube censors stuff whether it's good or bad; they have an agenda.

I think you should pray to God about the situation. Tell Him everything. Ask Him what should you do. Also ask Him to reveal anything else to you.

 

[Pommer]

I got here from a “similar threads” link so bear with me…
But what you’re describing is the past 15 years or so, the “anger” has always “been there”, but now it’s much louder and we’re encouraged to fight over every little tidbit and extreme outlier news item.

Once you understand that you don’t have to “play this game”, you can allow yourself to center-down and remember how we got through other times of political-polarization, (largely we “fought”, but in the end, we remembered that we all [have to] share this country).
If we cannot get along with one another well enough to have a whole, decent and daresay, loving, “society”, then that’s exactly the issue we have to solve.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Taking a look at your videos, I wonder if the dislikes are from there being no sound on many of them. I understand not wanting to put your voice out there. But without there at least being the freely usable music Youtube has, this may give some people an odd feeling. A lot of people are uncomfortable with silence. Some theorize it triggers a feeling of rejection, which could then make them angry. Anyways, I think the majority of speedpaint type videos have music if no one is talking.

You've alluded to the past event before. We can't control what thoughts pop up in our head. But we can choose to ignore them once we have them. If instead of ignoring the thought, you ruminate on it, it's like relieving a painful experience, and it makes you sad and angry again and again. This then influences how you see people, leading to a glass half empty perspective. Your vision becomes clouded by the fixation on the past rather than someone being kind in the present. It is better to forgive others and ourselves. Otherwise, the past holds us like an anchor, drowning us in a sea of negativity. Forgive and let the past be the past. Today is the day the Lord has made.

The more we see the good in others, the more we see the good in ourselves. The more we see the good in ourselves, the more we see the good in others.

Angelsaroundme has said it all, Miss @Multifavs. Please heed his wisdom here.


And as you know, I, for one, really like the content on your YT channel. ^-^