You ask a question about faith, and it has been a subject that Jesus has been working with me quit a lot lately.
I would like to share some of my history of Jesus teaching me to have faith, and trust in him. This is to give one an idea of why I thought I had faith.
After living through all I have in my walk I assumed that I had faith. Then reading scripture where Jesus says if one has faith the size of a mustard seed they could ask a mountain to move into the ocean and it would move. I saw that I did not have that much faith, so along with praying for love, and wisdom I added faith to move a mountain. Wow! Did that ever bring on a lot of testing.
About ten years ago I was having all the symptoms of colon cancer. I was filling the toilet up with blood, and cramps so bad that I had trouble standing up straight. Because we have no insurance, or money I never let on to the family. After five months the pain got so bad, that I asked Jesus if I should go to the hospital. Jesus told me no. I did not go, but did expect the problem to go away. It did not go away for two weeks. Then everything cleared up, and I now have no problems with my colon.
The next physical problem was scarier then colon problem that was just I dying, but the next problem was losing my eyesight. For me this was much worse then dying. I was losing my eyesight and again asked Jesus if I should go to a doctor, and again he said no. My driver license was up for renewal and I was worried that I would not be able to get a new license. Jesus was not healing my eye, and time was getting short, so I ask him again about a doctor, and he gave in to my lack of faith, but I knew he was not happy with me. Well I was given the grace/faith to not go see a doctor. Went to take my drivers test, and my eyesight was great.
Another time I was doing what I am doing now, and had a heart attack. I knew what was happening, and again asked Jesus if I should call for help. Jesus again told me no. I was hurting, and all I could do was pray. This time every thing went back to normal within a half hour. I have had a heart test sense and my heart is great.
Jesus in all these incidences has given me more lessons to trust in his voice, that it is God talking to me, and he has used all of this to teach me to trust in him, that whatever condition I am in, physical or spiritual that it is his will, and it will be done as he wants.
After all the physical events in my life, and the forty some years of living in trust of Jesus taking care of my family and me, it just did not occur to me that there was more to having faith then what was already given to me.
But after praying for faith to move a mountain things started to really get tough.
Last few weeks I was having all sorts of physical problems, and asked Jesus if I needed to see a doctor. Jesus told me no it was just an attack from Satan, and he would take care of my physical problems. Yet the problems continued. Now this has happened to me a number of times, but I was the only one involved, and did not need to explain to others why I was not going to see a doctor.
This time the family knew and not all understood that I would only go to the doctor if Jesus said yes. I am telling you all this, because when I asked Jesus when he would heal me. Jesus told me he could not right then, and I asked him what to do, and he said pray. I prayed for hours, and most of the time was in tongues. Now over a week later all my physical problems are gone.
Let me share something with you. Jesus told me that if I go to the doctor, after he says I dont need to, and then the symptom would become the problem that the doctor diagnosed.
Jesus let me know that Satan was giving me symptoms, but they were nothing but that. Now to me they were real problems, but they all went away without any help from a doctor.
Some members of my family have a hard time with my trusting the relationship I have with Jesus. They being concerned for my health get very upset when I will not see a doctor. My wife died because she did not trust doctors, because of a sexual abuse by a family doctor. My wife should have gone, and because she did not an infection killed her. What my children dont understand is my wife never asked Jesus if she should go to the doctor or not. Also Jesus told my wife he was going to come and get her soon. Because my wife knew Jesus was coming for her soon she wrote good-bye notes to everyone in the family. Jesus told her in a tongue that I had, but I did not get an interpretation only she did. She got angry that I did not have an interpretation. Jesus must have told her not to tell me she was going to die soon, but she wanted me to know.
