To the pro-choice and the pro-life.

[lawtonfogle]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

Pro-Life (and what I think is the harder of the two questions considering the stances)

You daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant, and after considering the circumstances (see above) has decided to get an abortion, but has decided to approach you with this first (there is a good chance they won't get one if you put your foot down and say NO!, as they are trying to be good kids even though they happened to mess up that one time). What do you do?

Also, does the age matter, and if so, why?

 

[Sitswithamouse]

From a pro-choice view, I would try and stop the abortion and I would take responsibilty in the care of the baby until her education was covered.
If on the other hand my daughter wants to go the abortion route I would try and work out other alternatives, but in the end it would be her choice.

 

[Avatar]

As a pro-life person I would talk with my son or daughter and assure them I would be there to support (financially and otherwise) them and their child as necessary. Having the child would not be the end of their lives. In the case of a younger child I would offer to adopt the grandchild. Ultimately though, it would be their decision. I cannot force them to do something they don't want to.

 

[TooCurious]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

Ultimately, it's her life, and it has to be her choice. While I would want what's best for her (and would strongly encourage her to try and pursue her educational opportunities whether or not she has the kid), I can't rightfully take such a major decision out of her hands. If she seems as though she hasn't thought the matter through seriously enough, I might instruct her to take a couple of days to think through the implications, draw up a budget plan for how she will support the kid and herself, and generally make sure she understands what a major impact this decision will have on the rest of her life. If, after all of that, she still thinks that having the kid is the best thing to do, then so be it. If she's my daughter, I have to trust that I've raised her to know what's best for her life. If she's my son's girlfriend, I have to trust that she's taken his feelings and opinions into consideration (in fact, I would specifically find this out), and that I've raised him to know what's best for his life.

Pro-choice means exactly that: choice. I can give them information and advice, but I can't live their lives for them.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Pro-choice means exactly that: choice. I can give them information and advice, but I can't live their lives for them.

Why you think I said you had the easier question (or that they had the harder one...)?

 

[allhart]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

Pro-Life (and what I think is the harder of the two questions considering the stances)

You daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant, and after considering the circumstances (see above) has decided to get an abortion, but has decided to approach you with this first (there is a good chance they won't get one if you put your foot down and say NO!, as they are trying to be good kids even though they happened to mess up that one time). What do you do?

Also, does the age matter, and if so, why?

Children are a blessing. Why is the world ,so negative? Our entire lives will be full of diversity. Therefore should we destroy any and everything that gets in our way.The truth of the matter is that killing the baby that was so called made of love isn't out of love only sexual lust and they don't want to be accountable for the life of another; however,mentally there is no way out from under it or spiritually.

 

[platzapS]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

If it was my daughter, I would carefully question her as to why she wants to make the decision. I might tell her the difficulties of having a child, especially this early. But I'd assure her that I'd support her either way--I'd be fine if she had an abortion and I would be fine in helping her to care for my grandchild if she opts against abortion. I would encourage her to continue her education either way.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I say both using pro as to not start out on a negative foot, but to each of you I have a question.

Thanks for using the two prefered "pro" terms!! *big grin*

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

If they want to have the baby, I would support them. I would hope that my husband and I would be able to help pay for the pre-natal care, and the eventual health care for mother, father, and child.

My sister had a baby halfway through her college career. Then went back to finish college. Having a child doesn't mean that one can't still achieve one's dreams. I would certainly tell the couple this, and that I would be willing to babysit for free (what are grandparents for, after all?). I would encourage both of them to go to college, because it is important, if my daughter/daughter-in-law (assuming that they marry - which by no means would they have to) wanted to watch the baby, I would encourage her to go to college part time. Though I would support her if she didn't want to go to college at all, of course.

I would never pressure someone into an abortion, but I would support anyone who got one because they felt it was the right choice for them. If they decided to abort, I would support them, and if they decided to keep the baby, I would still support them. No matter what, the most important thing for me would be to make sure that my son or daughter knew that I loved them no matter what, and that I would be there to help no matter what their choice ended up being!

 

[jayem]

Were I the parent of a college-age mother or father-to-be, assuming there are no compelling medical problems with the pregnancy, I'd encourage them to have the baby, but find a stable, loving adoptive home. I know it's hard to overcome the natural parental bond, but how satisfying it would be to provide the greatest gift possible to someone who really wants a child. And my daughter's/son's life would be materially much easier without the responsibility of a baby.

But I'd have to support her/him whatever they decide.

 

[PassionFruit]

Pro-Choice

Your daughter, or son's girlfriend, is pregnant and circumstances considered, it is advisable for her to get an abortion. You know your is probably not going to go to college if she (either your daughter or your son's girlfriend) doesn't have one, as s/he will stay to take care of the baby, even though they practically have a full ride to a respectable university. But they want to have the Baby. What do you do?

I don't see why they can't keep the baby. She could still finish her college education, I would support their decision to keep the baby. I would however discuss alternatives like adoption and abortion. After all, it is their choice. So why did you choose this particular situation?

 

[acropolis]

I would tell them to abort.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Children are a blessing. Why is the world ,so negative? Our entire lives will be full of diversity. Therefore should we destroy any and everything that gets in our way.The truth of the matter is that killing the baby that was so called made of love isn't out of love only sexual lust and they don't want to be accountable for the life of another; however,mentally there is no way out from under it or spiritually.

Blah blah blah. No offense, but I don't see an answer to the question. Include an answer to the question then I won't just be seeing a bunch of not answers here.

 

[Avatar]

Blah blah blah. No offense, but I don't see an answer to the question. Include an answer to the question then I won't just be seeing a bunch of not answers here.

Is there really a need to be antagonistic?

 

[lawtonfogle]

Is there really a need to be antagonistic?

He is spouting his own values. Had I asked what he would have done had it been his choice in the end, this would be a good answer, but it isn't his choice, but his child's, and a large number of people do not force their values onto their children, but try to take their children's values into consideration. As such, I am still not sure of his actions in the situation.

 

[Avatar]

He is spouting his own values. Had I asked what he would have done had it been his choice in the end, this would be a good answer, but it isn't his choice, but his child's, and a large number of people do not force their values onto their children, but try to take their children's values into consideration. As such, I am still not sure of his actions in the situation.

Then ask for clarification rather than being antagonistic. And 'spouting' is an unnecessary inflammatory descriptor. You seem unaware that your method of debate alienates people. That's why I abandoned those tactics long ago. Helpful advice, though I doubt you'll take it.

 

[HaloHope]

From a pro-choice view I would offer support and try and sway her against having an abortion, and offer to help out financially so she could have the child and go to univercity.

Of course if she decided to abort then I'd still love her although I would admit Id be deeply saddened by the decision, being pro-choice means she does have that option though.

 

[allhart]

He is spouting his own values. Had I asked what he would have done had it been his choice in the end, this would be a good answer, but it isn't his choice, but his child's, and a large number of people do not force their values onto their children, but try to take their children's values into consideration. As such, I am still not sure of his actions in the situation.

Everyone stands before God on their own account.Values are necessary to have commend ground.My children know who I am and where I stand on the matter.Two wrongs don't make it right.They also know I will always love them,but I will stand for truth no matter the personal pit falls.Your funny trying to tare down values in one aspect. While trying to build it up in another. The State of confusion is apon you. So as the old saying goes if everyone jumped off the Golden state bridge so shall you.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Ack. Double.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Then ask for clarification rather than being antagonistic. And 'spouting' is an unnecessary inflammatory descriptor. You seem unaware that your method of debate alienates people. That's why I abandoned those tactics long ago. Helpful advice, though I doubt you'll take it.

Um... isn't "though I doubt you'll take it" kinda not following your own advice? Anyways, my way of debating often times follows my mood. Some days I border blood thirsty, other days I try to make peace, and others I do everything with as much humor as I can.


Anyways, why do you doubt I'll take the advice? Some days I'll act like I won't, but when I get down to those times that when the debate gets serious, really serious , I try to take any advice I remember. Even if you don't see it here, this type of advice is very helpful when writing papers which have topics that will offend people just by their existence.

 

[Avatar]

Um... isn't "though I doubt you'll take it" kinda not following your own advice? Anyways, my way of debating often times follows my mood. Some days I border blood thirsty, other days I try to make peace, and others I do everything with as much humor as I can.


Anyways, why do you doubt I'll take the advice?

Many who employ antagonism, enjoy it. Some don't. I didn't. Since you employ it, odds are you like it. Thing is, you may not realize that it also alienates some that agree with your point of view.

Personally I tend to try to ignore antagonistic posters in debates, particularly when there is a similarly themed post made in a non-antagonistic style I can respond to instead. If a thread gets too unruly, I tend to take my leave. That doesn't mean you won the argument. It's the same as having a face to face to discussion and the other person is screaming over you. At some point you say, 'Whatever, buddy'.

Know what I mean?