Online Dating Scams

[exitstageright]

A Christian lady is gentle and humble and honest.

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

But we can be looking at and wanting what is not real beauty and getting distracted with it. And we may not be interested in pleasing our Heavenly Father, by being gentle and quiet in our spirit. So, this could keep us from appreciating a really Christian person.

If someone is gentle and quiet, it is possible for certain men to find that person to be boring . . . even though such a person is so pleasing to God. And so a man could miss out on a real lady, in his seeking for pleasure and excitement. And he might find it difficult to get a woman who meets his demands > she might find him to be boring, while he himself has by nature been condemning gentle and quiet ladies as being boring.

Being a truly great guy, then, includes that we do not judge women only by outward beauty, plus we ourselves are gentle and quiet as a good example for our sisters

Many christian women,whom I have asked out,and try to get to know,are gentle,quiet.and average looking women. But,often they will ask me,"Why are you asking me out?" One woman asked me,"Why would you want to go out with me?"
The average looking women do not feel good about themselves. If the average American women felt good about themselves,the cosmetic industry would go out of business.Therefore,they must think that there is something wrong with a man who asks them out. One woman told me,"Most guys want woman with big breasts." Maybe I should has assured her by saying,"Now,please do not take this as a negative statement,I am not asking your breasts out. I am asking......you out. I want to get to know you,the real and whole you,as a person."

 

[com7fy8]

@exitstageright Thank you for the very personal explanation.

Well, I think such women need to get more with God so they see themselves the way God wants. We need to not let ourselves be conformed to this world. If they can have issues like this, is it possible their own ways are interfering with their being able to connect with you, in case you are more for real than they are.

In case you are interested > I am white and I have integrated various inner-city and more high-end and educated black churches and worship services, and I had a number of black Christian lady friends. These were not apologetic about what they looked like, but a number of them were rather nice looking; and they were very kind to me and spiritual.

I did not get married to any of them, but each lady along the way was just right for my level of growth at the time I shared with each one.

Now I am in a multicultural church, which started in a more white area, but we moved and then became more varied. And we have some extravagantly gorgeous and charming and professional women quite younger than me and closer to my age > I am an almost-70 senior But the love I have with my lady friend who is older than me is so better than all which Satan would tempt me to want to experience with the younger ones.

Beauty discrimination is a major problem, I would say. It can keep men and women from discovering how to love, because of how the spirituality of lust and discriminatory perception is so contrary to how God is no respecter of persons.

God bless you

Bill

 

[Mydnyte]

I've had a rotten experience with all the sites that I've tried, so it would be hard for me to have an unbiased discussion about them. All a scam and all a ripoff IMO.

 

[pdudgeon]

unfortunately the only sure way to avoid the scam artists is to sign up with a local matchmaking company..and they charge mega bucks to run their background checks to weed out the scam artists. But even then, you're not guaranteed to find a match. For someone who has money to burn and little time to invest, they are a great deal.

But on the other hand, who really wants a match with someone who doesn't have the time to invest in a real relationship??? Only someone who is looking for a trophy wife or husband---a 'flash in the pan".
And then they get exactly what they've paid for;
glossy exterior, and no substance.

 

[Citanul]

unfortunately the only sure way to avoid the scam artists is to sign up with a local matchmaking company..and they charge mega bucks to run their background checks to weed out the scam artists. But even then, you're not guaranteed to find a match.

That's why I haven't tried matchmaking companies. Understandably, they can't guarantee success, but because of that I'm reluctant to fork out what can be a substantial amount of money. It's also why I don't bother with paid dating sites - with a free site I'm not going to get scammed or ripped off, just frustrated at the luck of success so far.

 

[dayhiker]

I've heard some bad stories about the local pay big bucks match making service here in the Boston area. I'd only consider it if I had a million bucks and could drop a thousand a week and not miss it.

To me find ever way possible to meet people in your local area and get out there and meet person after person till you meet the right one. That's what I've done over the last few years and I've meet some quality ladies. One lady I know of went on dates with 150 men before she found the one she was interested in. I don't think we can assume they will be in the first 25 people we meet good conversation with.

 

[blackribbon]

150 dates? with different men? how many years did that take considering there are only 52 weekends in a year?

I am pretty sure my husband was in the first 20 boys I ever dated (he was 18 when I met him, so boys is the right term) and that number may be high....and it would have been over 10 years. But I usually dated a guy for a period of time before deciding that we didn't have a future.

 

[dayhiker]

That lady would go on 3 days on a Sat. .. so ya she didn't give them much time to see if they were of any interest to her.
I do think with our years of experience as we get older that we are much more pickier than when we were young. So the few people we saw when we were wouldn't work for us now. But that being said, I'm not saying most people would have to date 150 people before they find the right one. But I do think if someone wants a good mate they need to see it as a serious search and work it. the ones that are obviously a no, say by and get to the next date. If they have some promise go on a second or third date in a different environment and see what they are like there. Don't do 3 dinner dates, ya., do one dinner date, then do a road trip, then a museum. One of your interest and the next date that is his interest.
So work it. I know another lady, who hasn't been on a date in 3 or 4 months, she isn't going to get the guy she is looking for that way!

 

[blackribbon]

That lady would go on 3 days on a Sat. .. so ya she didn't give them much time to see if they were of any interest to her.
I do think with our years of experience as we get older that we are much more pickier than when we were young. So the few people we saw when we were wouldn't work for us now. But that being said, I'm not saying most people would have to date 150 people before they find the right one. But I do think if someone wants a good mate they need to see it as a serious search and work it. the ones that are obviously a no, say by and get to the next date. If they have some promise go on a second or third date in a different environment and see what they are like there. Don't do 3 dinner dates, ya., do one dinner date, then do a road trip, then a museum. One of your interest and the next date that is his interest.
So work it. I know another lady, who hasn't been on a date in 3 or 4 months, she isn't going to get the guy she is looking for that way!

How boring is life now if she was used to going on 3 dates on a Saturday? What did she do if she actually liked the first guy and wanted to spend more time with him than a 3 date Saturday would allow?

I personally haven't been on a date in over a year but don't think that making it a part-time job is the answer. I didn't do it that way the first time and I can't see that sounds like a good plan now. I can't even imagine the logistics that would take. I personally like to spend a long time talking to a guy when I first meet him so I can learn who he is. That usually takes at least three meetings.

And just saying, although I am a bit more picky now because I have a stronger idea of what I am looking for, I am in contact with a good number of the boy/men that I dated when I was young and yes, I could date them again. They have all grown into decent men & husbands that I admire. In some ways I am less picky because I no longer am looking for good father material...which really loosen up some standards.

 

[dayhiker]

black ... I think your making it way to hard to understand what she did.
Like one 50 year old lady told me she set up a date to meet a guy and an 80ish y/o guy showed up for the date. Didn't take her long to end that date! yes his profile picture had him looking about 50!

 

[blackribbon]

black ... I think your making it way to hard to understand what she did.
Like one 50 year old lady told me she set up a date to meet a guy and an 80ish y/o guy showed up for the date. Didn't take her long to end that date! yes his profile picture had him looking about 50!

online dating...oh....and ugh....

 

[dayhiker]

I've only done a little online. Had a 4 yrs romantic relationship from that, now lifetime friendship.
So not all bad. I agree go to where people gather is a much fast way to meet people and get a feel for them. So I don't use online dating these days.

 

[blackribbon]

I've only done a little online. Had a 4 yrs romantic relationship from that, now lifetime friendship.
So not all bad. I agree go to where people gather is a much fast way to meet people and get a feel for them. So I don't use online dating these days.

I tried online dating for one day....the people that responded turned me off of it forever. My guess is that a a larger portion of the men are looking for a primarily physical relationship under the guise of "dating".

 

[blackribbon]

Online dating seems way to similar to job seeking. The only difference is that with a job, you can take a subpar job to prepare you for a better job in the future. I don't like interviewing enough to use it to try to find love. I wouldn't use the interview process to find friends either.

 

[blackribbon]

Isn't online dating kind of "let me look at your chosen picture and your carefully crafted profile and decide if you are worthy of dating me"?

"Nope...too ugly - swipe - nope, too fat - swipe - nope, I don't like her job, that she has children, that she is Methodist, that she is ..... WOW, this one is gorgeous ... who cares that she isn't a Christian and lists alcohol as one of her hobbies ... maybe I'll convert her" (sexes can be changed from her to him without changing my meaning).

Or if you are getting 3 dates per Saturday, isn't your criteria almost simply "Does he have a pulse and is willing to buy me dinner/coffee/etc?"

I had men offering to "help me out" physically since I was a widow....ugh, yuck, no thank you.

 

[dayhiker]

People are people whether its on a dating site, at a dance, in a club, traveling groups, at work or at church. In ever setting I find the same people. Some are Christians, some are atheists, some are kind and give to help people and some are into their own thing and will never consider anyone else's desires.

My point is that if someone wants a mate, go and actively looks for them. They are out there, that special person. You very well might run across them without looking, but most of the time if a person isn't looking they don't fund them from what I see. Those that I see are looking find them pretty quickly because there are a lot of lonely people out there.

 

[timewerx]

How many of you men feel that the online dating websites,that shows pictures of women,are scams?
Case in point,
I have lost faith in these online dating sites.This is my response to a site that keeps asking me to up"upgrade",as they are starting to get on my nerves.

"Everytime,that I contact someone,I get a one time answer.I then write back,and I never hear from that person anymore.To me,this smells like a fraud.As the saying goes,"If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck,it must be a duck. Women,who are attached, usually married women,tell me,"S.......,you are a good man.Any women would feel lucky to have you".Well,I wonder. Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone? I am starting to have trust issues.Would you believe someone who lies to you? It seems that women are constantly lying to me."

I think in that case, you are not talking about scam because a scam would ask you money.

I wonder too, looking great in that avatar!


I too think some pictures of women in online dating is fake. If it looks too worked up, like a brochure (lol!) it probably is!

Usually, pictures that looks unedited, shows a simple down-to-earth woman is probably real, bigger chances there!

 

[dayhiker]

Tho some people pay a couple hundred to get good photos for profile pictures.

 

[bèlla]

I think professional pictures are ideal if you’re posting them on a dating site. Groupon highlights local specials often. Outside shots are best. They look more natural.

Women rarely look average when they learn how to put their best foot forward. That means well-fitting clothing, intimate and support wear as needed. Flattering hues and hairstyles which enhance their features. A simple skin care routine with a healthy diet, good water intake, and lots of rest. Most would benefit from makeup application lessons. And good posture makes a difference.

~Bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

How many of you men feel that the online dating websites,that shows pictures of women,are scams?
Case in point,
I have lost faith in these online dating sites.This is my response to a site that keeps asking me to up"upgrade",as they are starting to get on my nerves.

"Everytime,that I contact someone,I get a one time answer.I then write back,and I never hear from that person anymore.To me,this smells like a fraud.As the saying goes,"If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck,it must be a duck. Women,who are attached, usually married women,tell me,"S.......,you are a good man.Any women would feel lucky to have you".Well,I wonder. Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone? I am starting to have trust issues.Would you believe someone who lies to you? It seems that women are constantly lying to me."

I am seeing more and more fake profiles or bots...I think I've been running into a scam where after talking to a woman I ask for her # , she instead asks for mine to be "safe". I do this, and she never calls, but...right after...I get robocalls consistently.

That said, I refuse to give my # out and ask that I have her # instead.