This is long and I am going to be very blunt about the whole issue I am dealing with and my feelings so you’re warned;
Hi, My name is Emmanuel, tbh I randomly did a google search for forums for Christians to talk to. I need advice. I’m pretty sure I have a massive calling from God to “unite” the Churches around my area as an “organization” or something and let a God lead revival occur like Azusa Street and 16th Century Revival, or the Jesus Freak Movement…. But I’ve been consumed with melancholy and this…this weight that makes this life seem so mundane and things in life so, empty, vain. I feel like Solomon did in Ecclesiastes. I recognize the worth of life and everything in it but, the largest thought in my mind has been,” Whats the point?” And I find myself not even seeing the worth of “fighting” or “standing” for a people who in my observations rather be so dividied due to nonsensical things like politics, sexuality, minor issues and anything else that is so, trivial and far from God’s concern. I used to have hope, but it seems the Church as a whole rather be divided and unwilling to give up these temporary comforts in life, for God, for his plans and callings.
But even so, These callings haven’t disappeared, I even have Holy Spirit like…Its like he’s giving me ideas and more but I just…I have lost faith in the Church, all churches, Talling is so easy and so are promises but this calling of mine is bigger than me. The vision God’s been giving me is a nation shaking event or something idek the depth of it. Idek why I am even on this random post, maybe I have hope, but I dont want to hope alone and do this alone. I mean, the resources, time, to unite entire churches under the banner of God so we can do his work effectively and stop being divided….No offense but many of you will argue over basic things like clothing and other nonsense that is irrelevant to God’s heart. So Us working together? Entire Churches from all backgrounds? And yeah right……Idk, I’m a logical person and I just, I guess I need reasons to believe. I used to Hate all Christians except a minority because God showed me so much evil in Churches and how far we as a whole body, are. We are so disorganized, when our own enemy, our real enemy, is so organized against us. We were supposed to be lights in this world, lighthouse on a hill, kingdoms of light on a mountain. I dont, I cant do this alone. But whats the point? Idk. So many pastors and leaders seem to busy to even care, or try, too many stupid schedules and planning for things that should be so easy, seems like no one is willing like our ancestors were in Azusa street or Jesus Freak Movement, or those marches we’d used to do where entire Churches united to march to the state capital from other states. It seems like a pipe dream and I guess I wanted advice. I want to give up on pipe dreams and I have lost all confidence in the entire Church. I see no difference between the Pharisee’s of Jesus time and in book of Lamentations and The Church today, as always theres a remnant but apart from them, too much bs in the Church. Rejection of LGBT Christians who are treated like Lepers or Black Christians in 1901 when Christians segregation by skin color and angered God by doing that. The stupid nonsense of watering down or weighing down the Gospel, which Jesus gave us basically, the Lack of leaders and discipleship…I can go on and on but idk……To unite such a people would require a miracle, even Moses had to deal with his peoples nonsense.
But even so, I’m certain its my calling and I made a vow to God, I feel like I know the basic things I should do but all these reasons exist to not even care or try. I dont want to fight for a people who want to be divided and want to hate their own brothers. I dont want to fight for people who say they love their LGBT Brethren, or their “liberal/Conservative” brethren and only give superficial love.
Whats the point of even trying for such people? All our efforts would probably be undone in a week lol…..I used to think there existed modern day Peters or Pauls or Noahs or Enochs…but I lost that naïve belief…The lack of wisdom from our so called leaders alone, is enough reason to not even try. I guess I wanted a reason to try, that despite all these observations and wisdom I got from God, despite everything in my own fleshly mind that says to give up on His people, I guess I wanted even one genuine reason, to try. I’d have to sacrifice entire days honestly, months, weeks fasting. That’s how big God is making it seem. A nation changing movement……………it’s intimidating to think about…How many people are even willing? Idk, I doubt this’ll get any replies anyways but if you read this far then….I guess…..Ask God to give me hope, for the Church, if there’s any logical reason and any evidence it is worth it, that I wont be wasting my time for “my” people, then I guess I can do it. But for now, nah….knowing Church history, The Church would kill this movement like they killed Azusa Street and other God lead movements. Why waste my time then?
And to those who are part of the remnant though, those few who do love God and are awesome, thanks! God is proud of you. All I said is not related to you few. But my calling is like Moses gathering his people to all leave Egypt, can you imagine if he had to unite all kinds of sects and groups and ensure they all knew the day to leave Egypt lol. Thats what this calling feels like. A person said to me,” Dont carry the Burden of an old man,” because I am young. But ever since then the desire to “change the world” has become a hunger so deep, but its like, like because of the Churches failures and more, I have lost all desire to even try. I used to care but seeing the entire Church fall worse than Babylon or Juresalem and this nonsensicial fighting I see in the Church, all I can say is,” Why try” i’m not Moses, I’m can’t unite a people like Joshua or David or Solomon can. Idek.
Hi, My name is Emmanuel, tbh I randomly did a google search for forums for Christians to talk to. I need advice. I’m pretty sure I have a massive calling from God to “unite” the Churches around my area as an “organization” or something and let a God lead revival occur like Azusa Street and 16th Century Revival, or the Jesus Freak Movement…. But I’ve been consumed with melancholy and this…this weight that makes this life seem so mundane and things in life so, empty, vain. I feel like Solomon did in Ecclesiastes. I recognize the worth of life and everything in it but, the largest thought in my mind has been,” Whats the point?” And I find myself not even seeing the worth of “fighting” or “standing” for a people who in my observations rather be so dividied due to nonsensical things like politics, sexuality, minor issues and anything else that is so, trivial and far from God’s concern. I used to have hope, but it seems the Church as a whole rather be divided and unwilling to give up these temporary comforts in life, for God, for his plans and callings.
But even so, These callings haven’t disappeared, I even have Holy Spirit like…Its like he’s giving me ideas and more but I just…I have lost faith in the Church, all churches, Talling is so easy and so are promises but this calling of mine is bigger than me. The vision God’s been giving me is a nation shaking event or something idek the depth of it. Idek why I am even on this random post, maybe I have hope, but I dont want to hope alone and do this alone. I mean, the resources, time, to unite entire churches under the banner of God so we can do his work effectively and stop being divided….No offense but many of you will argue over basic things like clothing and other nonsense that is irrelevant to God’s heart. So Us working together? Entire Churches from all backgrounds? And yeah right……Idk, I’m a logical person and I just, I guess I need reasons to believe. I used to Hate all Christians except a minority because God showed me so much evil in Churches and how far we as a whole body, are. We are so disorganized, when our own enemy, our real enemy, is so organized against us. We were supposed to be lights in this world, lighthouse on a hill, kingdoms of light on a mountain. I dont, I cant do this alone. But whats the point? Idk. So many pastors and leaders seem to busy to even care, or try, too many stupid schedules and planning for things that should be so easy, seems like no one is willing like our ancestors were in Azusa street or Jesus Freak Movement, or those marches we’d used to do where entire Churches united to march to the state capital from other states. It seems like a pipe dream and I guess I wanted advice. I want to give up on pipe dreams and I have lost all confidence in the entire Church. I see no difference between the Pharisee’s of Jesus time and in book of Lamentations and The Church today, as always theres a remnant but apart from them, too much bs in the Church. Rejection of LGBT Christians who are treated like Lepers or Black Christians in 1901 when Christians segregation by skin color and angered God by doing that. The stupid nonsense of watering down or weighing down the Gospel, which Jesus gave us basically, the Lack of leaders and discipleship…I can go on and on but idk……To unite such a people would require a miracle, even Moses had to deal with his peoples nonsense.
But even so, I’m certain its my calling and I made a vow to God, I feel like I know the basic things I should do but all these reasons exist to not even care or try. I dont want to fight for a people who want to be divided and want to hate their own brothers. I dont want to fight for people who say they love their LGBT Brethren, or their “liberal/Conservative” brethren and only give superficial love.
Whats the point of even trying for such people? All our efforts would probably be undone in a week lol…..I used to think there existed modern day Peters or Pauls or Noahs or Enochs…but I lost that naïve belief…The lack of wisdom from our so called leaders alone, is enough reason to not even try. I guess I wanted a reason to try, that despite all these observations and wisdom I got from God, despite everything in my own fleshly mind that says to give up on His people, I guess I wanted even one genuine reason, to try. I’d have to sacrifice entire days honestly, months, weeks fasting. That’s how big God is making it seem. A nation changing movement……………it’s intimidating to think about…How many people are even willing? Idk, I doubt this’ll get any replies anyways but if you read this far then….I guess…..Ask God to give me hope, for the Church, if there’s any logical reason and any evidence it is worth it, that I wont be wasting my time for “my” people, then I guess I can do it. But for now, nah….knowing Church history, The Church would kill this movement like they killed Azusa Street and other God lead movements. Why waste my time then?
And to those who are part of the remnant though, those few who do love God and are awesome, thanks! God is proud of you. All I said is not related to you few. But my calling is like Moses gathering his people to all leave Egypt, can you imagine if he had to unite all kinds of sects and groups and ensure they all knew the day to leave Egypt lol. Thats what this calling feels like. A person said to me,” Dont carry the Burden of an old man,” because I am young. But ever since then the desire to “change the world” has become a hunger so deep, but its like, like because of the Churches failures and more, I have lost all desire to even try. I used to care but seeing the entire Church fall worse than Babylon or Juresalem and this nonsensicial fighting I see in the Church, all I can say is,” Why try” i’m not Moses, I’m can’t unite a people like Joshua or David or Solomon can. Idek.
