i was a Christian for many years, or tried to be. i know we are not meant to try. we are meant to surrender to Christ and he will live through us. This never happened with me.
Which never happened to you? You never surrendered to Christ? Or he never lived through you?
There seems to be one of two conclusions you can come to here:
1. If Christ truly does live his life through you when you surrender your life to him, and you have not experienced Christ doing so in your life, then you have not truly surrendered to him.
2. The teaching that Christ will live his life through you when you surrender your life to him is bogus.
Its been my personal experience that total surrender to God is something
God does in us. We are too selfish, too corrupt, to actually fully surrender to Him. It is for this reason God has put the Old Man, Self, to death. God doesn't rehabilitate Self; He doesn't give Self a face lift, or the capacity to do better. No, Self is degenerate and wholly wicked, which is why it was put to death 2000 years ago on the cross of Christ. If God doesn't change you, no real, genuine, godly change will occur. Sometimes it takes complete failure to convince us of this fact.
i never actually felt that it was Christ, not me. i was never able to get victory over sin by surrendering my will to his.
Surrendering your will to Christ is only a single, beginning step. Believing what God says about you is also vital to becoming who He says you are. For instance, the Bible says you are
"dead to sin, but alive unto God." (Ro. 6) This became true of you the moment you were saved. Do I always
feel this is true? No. But God never asks me to walk with Him on the basis of how I feel. Instead, He asks me to believe Him, to trust His Word rather than what I may feel or even experience. This is, in part, what the Bible means when it says,
"The just (or righteous) shall live by faith." (Ro. 1:17; Ga. 3:11; He. 10:38)
God has made us to be conformed to our focus. Change in us also comes by way of this principle. It is for this reason that Paul the apostle writes,
"But we all, with open face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Cor. 3:18)
Allowing yourself to be preoccupied with Christ, spending time steeping your mind in the person of Jesus, has a positive altering effect.
Do any of you really achieve it? Are you really conscious of times when the holy spirit takes over from your sinful nature? Do you honestly feel joy in God, or do you just try to? i got sick of just trying and nothing happening.
Yes, God has been as good as His Word to me. I believe what He says, trusting and waiting on Him to make those things He has said are true of me real in my experience. And my trust has never been betrayed.
Peace.