When Married Women Flirt

[tjrevelations]

I like my new church. More than that, I respect the members of my new church. It isn't over the top or unnecessarily demonstrative, but there is a strong but quiet faith which is so unique compared to the previous "megachurch" I used to attend.

One ongoing issue however is one of married women flirting with me. There aren't many single young women who attend, if any, and I've come to accept that. I feel a little "guilty" when ignoring women are overtly flirting. Normally, I am friendly to everyone but I want to set appropriate boundaries, especially at church, but not quite sure how to do that with flirty married women.

I suppose I could just "go along with it" but that wouldn't feel right to me. But if I'm somewhat cold and distant that doesn't feel "right" either. I think the easiest solution is simply to avoid them whenever possible and simply be polite but avoid extended conversations otherwise when interaction is necessary. What do you think?

 

[trophy33]

But if I'm somewhat cold and distant that doesn't feel "right" either

But it is right. It is not right to be close or warm to married women, if you are a man. If they try to, just show them the boundaries or avoid them if they act strangely.

She probably wants a confirmation that she is still attractive to men, but its not your business to provide that.

 

[DragonFox91]

You could be misinterpreting the situation. If she acts like that with other people, it may just be her personality. I used to know a girl I thought was flirting w/ me but then I realized she acts like that around everyone.


Also no single women at any of the 2 churches I attend either. Why does that seem so common…….????

 

[tjrevelations]

At my current church, 20's and 30 somethings regardless of relationship status is a huge hole in the church demographic. Even 40 somethings seem to be pretty rare. Then, there is a big spike up from age 50 upwards.

There is no incentive even for the most devoted of single young adults to continue attending when there are so few peers, and nothing organized on a regular basis.

There are lots of kids of all ages, but then, once again, a huge demographic hole in college aged attendees.

There is too much corona propaganda. There is a high degree of fear not particularly of any "virus" but of a vague sense of "consequences" which do not have any basis in scientific or legal fact.

One strategy is to look for churches in larger metro areas with larger congregations and more young adults in attendance. Sadly, these churches tend to be very leftist politically and usually enforce masking and social distancing which defeats the purpose of meeting anyone at church!

My current church did that as well last year, year and a half, and it was a sad and frightening sight.

I suspect there's a lot of unhappiness and loneliness due to isolation with people trying to "wait things out." I don't know for sure however.

 

[Mink61]

You could be misinterpreting the situation. If she acts like that with other people, it may just be her personality. I used to know a girl I thought was flirting w/ me but then I realized she acts like that around everyone.


Also no single women at any of the 2 churches I attend either. Why does that seem so common…….????

^^What's bolded. ^^
There are a number of men (especially) who don't know the difference between a woman is "flirting" or "being friendly". Even if a woman touches a man's arm during conversation, some men will often misinterpret her gesture as "flirting".

Take DragonFox's advice. Try to notice how she is with other people, especially other men.

 

[PloverWing]

Are they genuinely flirting, or just friendly? Friendly is good; they may be trying to welcome you as a newcomer, or they may just be friendly around everyone. Flirting is not so good.

 

[bèlla]

Consider what you’re saying. A married stranger is flirting with a single one in a familiar setting with her spouse in tow. Why would she take the risk on your behalf? An untested element that could blow up in her face.

It would make better sense to do it with someone she knows and trusts that can keep a secret. That’s usually what occurs. Don’t read more into her actions without proof.

Do you have experience to draw from? How do her actions mirror them and support your suspicion?

 

[turkle]

I agree that you may be reading too much into it.

However, being cold and distant is unkind, and not the answer. Be friendly and warm, but if you feel uncomfortable, remove yourself from the conversation with a smile.

 

[The Narrow Way]

If women were reserved as they should be, men would never think they were flirting.

 

[Sketcher]

Is she intentionally flirting, or does she lack the social skills to avoid it?

 

[jacks]

Some women just like to flirt. It is usually harmless, just don't encourage it.

 

[Mink61]

If women were reserved as they should be, men would never think they were flirting.

And some men will believe she's flirting, even if she isn't.

Gotta love that ego...

 

[bèlla]

If women were reserved as they should be, men would never think they were flirting.

I’m sorry, that’s not true. Some people interpret acts of kindness or engagement as something more. They want to be desired by the opposite sex and convince themselves she likes them. It can be the result of error, ego, or a longing for attention.

 

[The Narrow Way]

Some women just like to flirt. It is usually harmless, just don't encourage it.

There are alot of things people LIKE to do that are not right to do...especially for Christians, and FLIRTING is one of them.

 

[The Narrow Way]

I’m sorry, that’s not true. Some people interpret acts of kindness or engagement as something more. They want to be desired by the opposite sex and convince themselves she likes them. It can be the result of error, ego, or a longing for attention.

It's true, @bèlla, that there are some people who will always misinterpret the good motives of others....but that is on them. If women were as reserved as they should be, men would have far fewer temptations to sin.

 

[bèlla]

It's true, @bèlla, that there are some people who will always misinterpret the good motives of others....but that is on them. If women were as reserved as they should be, men would have far fewer temptations to sin.

A man’s inability to grasp a woman’s disinterest doesn’t make her unreserved. Nor can we blame others for our behavior or lack of self-control.

Sin is a choice.

 

[The Narrow Way]

A man’s inability to grasp a woman’s disinterest doesn’t make her unreserved. Nor can we blame others for our behavior or lack of self-control.

Sin is a choice.

That's all true....but that doesn't license women to become tempters. Just as men must have self control and turn away from the tempters, so women should refuse to be tempters...there is a responsibility on BOTH sides.

 

[bèlla]

That's all true....but that doesn't license women to become tempters. Just as men must have self control and turn away from the tempters, so women should refuse to be tempters...there is a responsibility on BOTH sides.

Mutual responsibility isn’t causation. Addictions are borne through sin and susceptibility. You can’t plant a hook without a hole. The void is the door. Not the other.

You can’t be ensnared without it. Temptation is the warning. It alerts you to your propensity in that area. You can’t be swayed by a seductress unless something within you resonates with her behavior. That holds true for everything.

Fill the void and you’ll solve the problem. That’s how you overcome. It can’t be contingent on the other person’s behavior. You must slay the dragon within. Whether they change or not.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Emotional alphabets vary. The character for friendship in the female alphabet tends to be similar to the male's character for flirting .. Of course misunderstandings cannot be helped if a certain chemical reaction is triggered in the male brain, at which everything feels like flirting .. if this happens, take a walk.

If you are an empath, and their subconscious person is flirting with you, they are not aware of it, so they are not flirting with you.

I hope that helps, there are a lot of other circumstances that could be the case.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I like my new church. More than that, I respect the members of my new church. It isn't over the top or unnecessarily demonstrative, but there is a strong but quiet faith which is so unique compared to the previous "megachurch" I used to attend.

One ongoing issue however is one of married women flirting with me. There aren't many single young women who attend, if any, and I've come to accept that. I feel a little "guilty" when ignoring women are overtly flirting. Normally, I am friendly to everyone but I want to set appropriate boundaries, especially at church, but not quite sure how to do that with flirty married women.

I suppose I could just "go along with it" but that wouldn't feel right to me. But if I'm somewhat cold and distant that doesn't feel "right" either. I think the easiest solution is simply to avoid them whenever possible and simply be polite but avoid extended conversations otherwise when interaction is necessary. What do you think?

You could very well be misinterpreting her actions.

My husband is socially awkward and I'm not, so often, even with men, I'll carry the main conversation unless/until it turns to a topic of interest for my husband and then he jumps in and carries the conversation, and this way he can make freinds. He just can't get a conversation to that point by himself.

Also, she could just be talkative and nice to everyone and with you being new might just want to make sure you feel welcome.

At any rate I wouldn't think much of it but if it makes you uncomfortable you might like just to be honest and say so ..