I have been married for almost 5 years and we have pretty much only had two struggles in our married he is addicted to computer games but he will restricted his time on it to what I allow him cause he doesnt want to up set me, and anal sex. I don't allow it cause it is clear in 1 COR. 6:9 sodomites will not inherit the kingdom of God! But he has urges says its not all the time but he prays and prays for God to show him how it is sin and he still feels like I'm the one in the wrong for denying him and when he reads 1 COR 6:9 he doesn't think it is talking about anal sex so I started looking into the true greek meaning of sodomite and cannot find it. But when i deny my husband this act he turns to porn this he is ashamed of and says if I didn't deny him he wouldn't have the urge to sin and wants me to help but doing anal sex. Before I obey My husband in this I need to know If I will be going to hell if I do? I love and obey my husband But I love obey God first.
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
Christian Forums is looking to bring on new moderators to the CF Staff Team! If you have been an active member of CF for at least three months with 200 posts during that time, you're eligible to apply! This is a great way to give back to CF and keep the forums running smoothly! If you're interested, you can submit your application here!
What is the true Greek meaning of sodomite
- Thread starter thornock88
- Start date
- Status
JaneFW
Well-Known Member
Not so much the scripture about it, but the fact that it is dangerous to your health - do some research on it - and the fact that you feel uncomfortable in doing it, should be sufficient for your husband to accept that you do not want to follow through with this practice. It is no excuse for him to turn to porn.
Upvote
0
Audiomechanic
^ My Name | v Things I say
- Dec 16, 2005
- 1,977
- 103
- 41
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
This.
I'm not sure if it's a sin or not, but at the very least, it's not the kind of sex God designed, but a perversion of it. Just because there's another opening there, doesn't mean....well, you get the point.
Upvote
0
I know the porn is his own addiction but I feel if anal is not sin and it would help him then we would be ok cause i want to help as much as I can and he has reduced his habit a lot. But I do not want to be sinning and when I look up the true meaning of sodomite I see a lot of different views and would like to know the true original meaning!
Upvote
0
Likely he'd still watch porn even if you did 'give in', and he'd make more and increasingly degrading demands.
Your 'd'h needs to respect your boundaries. As others have said, this is his bad behaviour, it's not your fault, you're not causing him to watch porn.
Your 'd'h needs to respect your boundaries. As others have said, this is his bad behaviour, it's not your fault, you're not causing him to watch porn.
Upvote
0
Do you help alcoholics by giving them alcohol? Heroin addicts by giving them heroin? Playing out his porn fantasies isn't going to help your husband, he needs to come off them and retrain his mind and his thoughts so that he desires you and only you. He has to do this on his own, you can't really help him.
Upvote
0
H
hijklmnop
Guest
I don't get the impression that you DO know...Doing things to try and control someone else's addiction is codependent and unhealthy. At this point it sounds like sex with him is about fulfilling his porn-related fantasies so that he will look at it less, NOT about expressing your love for each other.
Upvote
0
Psalm63
Well-Known Member
Yes, you will be going to hell if you do:
a kind of hell on earth, that is.
BTDT and I don't recommend it! It's horrible torment, with sleepless nights of weeping and gnashing of teeth...
The counselor explained to me that men get demanding and coercive about certain sexual acts because they see them frequently in porn. Your husband has his "cause and effect" mixed up. His problem is the porn use, not you and your conscience. If you compromise your conscience, you will be disobeying God and the Bible on numerous counts:
Rom 14:23 "everything that does not come from faith is sin."
Titus 2:4 "young women to be... chaste" (this is addressed to MARRIED women, btw)
1 Pet 3:1-2 1 Wives, likewise, are subject to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
Titus 2:4 "young women to be... chaste" (this is addressed to MARRIED women, btw)
1 Pet 3:1-2 1 Wives, likewise, are subject to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
So, be afraid, be very afraid to do anything which compromises your chastity/purity! Don't play porn star! When I saw these repetitive chastity instructions to me, as the wife of a sexual addict (porn, strip clubs, affairs), I realized that GOD wants me to be a CHASTE wife. But how can I when my husband is in bondage to lust??? 
I prayed to God:
"GOD, he comes at me with this lust and I don't know how I am supposed to keep myself CHASTE and the marriage bed undefiled??? PLEASE, protect me. PLEASE help me to be the wife I am supposed to be, to conduct myself with CHASTE CONDUCT so that my disobedient husband may repent!"
Well, God protected me in miraculous ways (link to the story). And today my husband is clean and the marriage bed is no longer defiled by the evil spirit of Lust.
I prayed to God:
"GOD, he comes at me with this lust and I don't know how I am supposed to keep myself CHASTE and the marriage bed undefiled??? PLEASE, protect me. PLEASE help me to be the wife I am supposed to be, to conduct myself with CHASTE CONDUCT so that my disobedient husband may repent!"
Well, God protected me in miraculous ways (link to the story). And today my husband is clean and the marriage bed is no longer defiled by the evil spirit of Lust.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
JaneFW
Well-Known Member
This does not sound like a consensual act.
It is not an act where one partner "wants to help" the other, by doing something that s/he does not want to do, to pacify the other partner, and/or to prevent them from sinning.
Your husband is responsible for his porn use. You are responsible for anything sinful that you do. Period. You are not responsible for preventing him from sinning by doing an act that to you is - what? Shameful? Painful?
Your husband is wrong to put pressure on you to take part in a sexual act that you are unwilling to take part in. He is sinning by attempting to shame and belittle you into it, by insinuating that you are responsible for his sin i.e. the porn use.
Let me say again: he is responsible for his sins, you are responsible for yours ONLY. You don't want to have anal sex - and you have good reason to not have anal sex. He needs to respect your desire to not take part in this practice, and pray a little more, and actually hear God, because God is not in the business of "approving" sexual practices that offend or hurt any of His children.
Some of the risks I found online:
- Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV): there is no doubt that anal intercourse carries a greater risk of transmission of HIV - the virus that can cause acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) - than other sexual activities, particularly for the receptive partner.
- Human papilloma virus (HPV, wart virus): this can be transmitted during anal intercourse and lead to anal warts, which in turn could perhaps predispose infected individuals to cancer of the anal canal.
- Hepatitis A (infectious hepatitis): this is a viral infection that can cause jaundice and abdominal pain. Hepatitis A is not usually a life-threatening illness, although sufferers can feel quite ill. It can be transmitted by oral-anal contact.
- Hepatitis C: is a cause of progressive and sometimes fatal chronic liver disease. Hepatitis C may be transmitted by anal intercourse, although this seems to be a rare occurrence. Sharing of equipment for intravenous drug use is a far more important risk for transmission.
- Escherichia coli (E. coli): may sometimes cause mild to severe, or even (rarely) fatal, gastroenteritis. It is one of many viruses and bacteria that can be transmitted by oral-anal contact. Some E. coli strains (uropathic E. coli) can also cause urinary tract infections (UTIs), ranging from cystitis to pyelonephritis - a serious kidney infection. E. coli very readily crosses the short distance between the female anus and the female urinary opening, so causing a urinary infection. Anal intercourse can facilitate this transfer particularly if it is immediately followed by vaginal intercourse.
Upvote
0
JaneFW
Well-Known Member
Also, I thought this was a very good article for you:
Anal Sex and the Bible
Just remember that there is more than one scripture in the Bible. When the whole of the Bible is telling you that there is something sinful going on - you need to take the Bible as a whole, and not build everything around ONE word, and continue to dispute that ONE word. If the Bible as a whole says to respect your spouse, care for their wellbeing, honor your body, then that says a whole lot more than the word "sodomite."
Anal Sex and the Bible
Just remember that there is more than one scripture in the Bible. When the whole of the Bible is telling you that there is something sinful going on - you need to take the Bible as a whole, and not build everything around ONE word, and continue to dispute that ONE word. If the Bible as a whole says to respect your spouse, care for their wellbeing, honor your body, then that says a whole lot more than the word "sodomite."
Upvote
0
Are you talking about the word translated 'effiminant' in the KJV? The Greek word isn't Sodomite. It doesn't have anything to do with 'Sodom.'
There are two Greek words, arsenokoite and malakos. Arsenokoite means something like 'man-bedder'-- in a language where 'bed' has a sexual dimension to it. The other means 'soft.'
My personal understanding of this is that it is talking about two men in an homosexual act. The man who is in the more dominant role would be the arsenokoite, and the other guy would be the malakos. A retired Greek professor agreed with me about that.
Arsenokoite, I've read, shows up once in Greek on a pot depicting homosexual activity. It also looks like Paul might have just derived it by making one word out of the commandment 'Do not lie with a man as one does with a woman' from the Greek Septuigint translation. I could see how that word could be used as a shorthand for that verse.
The word 'malakos' is used in a variety of contexts in the Greek language. It could refer to a girly man who is too concerned with his looks. I read it was once used in reference to a man who plucked hairs out of his thighs. Of course a man might have done such a thing for a certain form of homosexual activity back then.
Neither word refers specifically to anal sex, although that may have been among the activities an arsenokoite might have done to a malakos.
I don't know of any specific scripture that deals with men performing anal sex on women. I don't see where it is forbidden or encouraged. You want to keep the marriage bed pure. If I were talking to your husband I would say I don't see I Corinthians 7 as giving a man a right to anal sex with his wife. God said 'be fruitful and multiply'--which gives us an idea of what kind of sex He was talking about-- and anal sex isn't a particularly effective way of going about imultiplying. There are also some health risks involved.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
I doubt Got cares much about how married people choose to have sex. That puts it on you and your husband. I don't know but I've been told prostitutes get many requests for another word for oral sex because wives don't like to do that. I'm not sure if your husband would turn to one of those for anal sex but you never know. It might be worth it to keep it in the family. But that is just me and my view of things. Its your decision to make.
Upvote
0
Like I'm sure others have said, the most worrying thing might be the danger to your health. I would never do that and if my husband asked, I would ask him how he'd feel to have someone perform anal sex on him. So many threads here make me feel sad because married couples are just not caring for each other. I would never ask something of my husband that could hurt him for my own pleasure.
Upvote
0
H
hijklmnop
Guest
I don't think someone's thread asking for honest advice is an appropriate place to make trite jokes.
Upvote
0
Audiomechanic
^ My Name | v Things I say
- Dec 16, 2005
- 1,977
- 103
- 41
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Here's my opinion on it. I don't know if it's biblical or not. In my mind as long as these 3 criteria are met, than it's ok:
1) Must be something BOTH parties agree to and receive enjoyment from (enjoyment from pleasing the spouse in substitute for direct enjoyment counts)
2) Must build the marriage and bring the couple closer and not tear it down (bringing the couple closer on the surface and at first while only feeding an addictive pattern and eventually driving the couple apart does not count. Must be genuine)
3) Must not involve any 3rd party.
Long as those are met in sincerity, have at it. Some couples are more prudish and only have sex "missionary style" in the dark after 9PM on Tuesdays. Other couples may be wilder and enjoy using toys, exploring other "entrances", utilizing whips, chains, the kitchen counter, etc. All of that is fine with me as long as the 3 rules above are not violated.
It does not seem like the OP's scenereo fullfills any of these 3. The OP does not want it (breaks number 1), the husband is turning to porn as a substitute and will continue to do so even after the OP agrees to it (breaks rule numbers 2 and 3).
Just my opinion.
1) Must be something BOTH parties agree to and receive enjoyment from (enjoyment from pleasing the spouse in substitute for direct enjoyment counts)
2) Must build the marriage and bring the couple closer and not tear it down (bringing the couple closer on the surface and at first while only feeding an addictive pattern and eventually driving the couple apart does not count. Must be genuine)
3) Must not involve any 3rd party.
Long as those are met in sincerity, have at it. Some couples are more prudish and only have sex "missionary style" in the dark after 9PM on Tuesdays. Other couples may be wilder and enjoy using toys, exploring other "entrances", utilizing whips, chains, the kitchen counter, etc. All of that is fine with me as long as the 3 rules above are not violated.
It does not seem like the OP's scenereo fullfills any of these 3. The OP does not want it (breaks number 1), the husband is turning to porn as a substitute and will continue to do so even after the OP agrees to it (breaks rule numbers 2 and 3).
Just my opinion.
Upvote
0
- Status
Similar threads
