What is the proper way to pray for a girlfriend?

[batmanspiderman]

First of all, I want to treat everyone in here with respect. However, i just want to say something before proceeding to my main topic.

A) This topic is about how to pray for a girlfriend, if you are happy with your singleness and want to suggest me to be content with it, be my guest, but just want to say this is not the theme of the topic i am looking for and there will be no official response from me. If i have offended anyone, i am sorry. Just want to say this isn't the theme of the topic.

B) If you want to post 1st Corinthians 7, please don't. I cannot stop you if you really want to, but once again there will be no official response from me. You can post it because this is a free world we are living in. I am not here to stop you from posting, just not recommended.

C) This thread is for people who are single and discuss how to get rid of the curse of singleness. If you believe singleness is a blessing, good for you. Please try not to advocate this idea in here.

With that out of the way, let's continue. Once again i am sorry if i have offended anyone. I really need a girlfriend, at age 31 I cannot believe that i am still single while most of my friends are getting married or at least getting into relationships. What have I ever done to deserve being cursed with singleness? Being rejected countlessly, i am losing my patience rapidly. I am afraid i am in a really unhealthy cycle where i am desperate for a girlfriend, but desperate doesn't exactly inspire confidence, thus not being attractive to girls. (like i said, please don't suggest being content with singleness) I am afraid if i am content with being single, God would think all i need is Him and thus no need for a girlfriend. I am currently working and studying at the same time because i want to have an income to support my family in the future and studying would help me get the right job to earn even more money to take care of my future wife. If i am meant to be single, then i dont see the point of working hard or studying hard anymore.

I don't want to pray for His will to be done on me if God intended me to be single forever. Just like God responded to the Jews on why they would need a king, all they need is Him, but the jews ask for a king anyways, and God eventually give them king saul. I don't want to leave an option where permanent singleness is okay with me. I mean, if that is really what He wants, then there is nothing i can do about it, but don't expect me to ever be content with it.

So what is the correct way to pray for a girlfriend? How would you pray about it? I seriously don't want to remain single for a second. I cannot wait for my life to begin when i have a girlfriend, rather than living pointlessly without a significant other. Thanks for reading and may God bless you.

 

[Gnarwhal]

So you think that if you become content with your life, that God's somehow going to drop the ball on your entire life plan? Are we talking about the same God here? Last I checked that kind of thing isn't possible. It sounds like you think your life has no meaning unless you have a girlfriend.

I gotta say dude, there's no 'right way' to pray about things like this, God's not a genie nor is he a cosmic vending machine where we just say an incantation and out comes our order. There's people on this site who are older than you and have been single the whole time. I'm 29 and I've had relationships and I've had a marriage, but I'm single again (and have been for three years) and I'm back in school finishing my degree not because it's going to be chick bait, but because I want to do something meaningful with my life.

You seem to already know the answer to your problem because you addressed it in your post: desperation doesn't attract girls. It effects everything from your posture and body language, to your habits, your grooming. Desperation can make us overcompensate or overcorrect. Contentedness allows us to release that burden and be normal people, we relax, we socialize better and before you know it we're garnering attraction. That's how it works.

 

[batmanspiderman]

I know there are people older than me being single for their life, if they are happy with that, good for them. I am not one of those people who is happy for being single. Simply say i don't want to be another paul, i dont want to be permanently single for the kingdom. If i am single for life, its involuntary.

Now there is a girl that i am really attracted to at church, and she is a christian (let's call her mary). Sadly she isn't interested at me. However, there is a non-christian girl at work where i have a better chance at (let's call her angel). I want to ask angel out for a drink and see how it goes from there, but what if i start a relationship with angel and mary changes her mind? the only logical move then would be to dump angel and start to date mary because mary always comes first. I mean if God has the score of 100, mary would score 99.8 in my mind. She is that perfect to me. But then i am not a jerk, i dont want to hurt someone's feeling by dumping them. So the correct way is to not ask angel out unless i am completely done with mary. The problem is that the last time i have a serious crush on a girl, it took me almost ten years to get over it. I don't want to stay single for more than a second, let alone ten years.

So i dont really know what i can do except to pray?

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I think and am sorry to say this but you seem to intense, you post is coming across like WOW... which i think is probably coming off on you IRL.

If you can't enjoy being alone with yourself, what are you going to bring to any relationship ?

Seriously relationships are hard-work and people aren't going to make you happy, you will become disappointed, angry and hurt if you think having a girlfriend is going to make you happy, or that they should make you happy. Yes fair enough during the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] i am falling in love stage is great, but that disappears and life gets in the way, how will you handle that if you can't even handle being alone ?

Their is nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend but you are acting like you NEED, like the way we NEED water or food or air, women aren't a toy or a pet or even food for you to expect that you should have.

You don't sound ready to have any girlfriend.

Am sorry if this is coming off rude or anything but I think you need to work on yourself. And not expect God to drop girlfriends into our life's, he is not cupid.

 

[batmanspiderman]

i dont know how to reply on being content with singleness without being rude, so i am not going to answer that part of the respond. I appreciate every respond i got in this thread, but i do have one thing to say and hopefully that is the last thing i have to say about that in this thread. I felt like when people say you need to get ready for a relationship, its to comfort unattractive people that one day they could also get into a relationship, they just need to be "ready". well, i heavily disagree with that statement, a lot of attractive girls or guys gets into relationships without getting "ready", a lot of them are not mature enough for a relationship but yet they are blessed with a girlfriend or a boyfriend because they look good.

But i understand girls are not objects to be taken, nor do i think having a girlfriend is going to make me happy or solve my problems. I am just saying i am not happy with God that he wants me to be single for 31 years and still counting, and i need to get rid of this curse in the name of Jesus.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Yes and the ones who aren't ready end up either single again or divorce......

You are not showing that you are mature enough, your language is coming across as a 16 young boy.

Looking good doesn't last forever, looking good does not keep a relationship going.

Erm i don't know why you keep saying curse because God doesn't give out curses... secondly your not happy with God ? Seriously ? you sound bitter and resentful again not a good trait to have.

Their are millions and millions of people who are people label as unattractive who have partner being labeled unattractive has nothing to do with not having a partner.

 

[batmanspiderman]

Sorry, first of all English is not my first language, secondly i am just tired but couldn't fall asleep. Sorry again if i sound rude or arrogant, but yes i felt like being single is a curse, the bible said its not good for man to be alone, that's why God create woman from a man's rib.

Hopefully God doesn't call me to be single for life, like Paul or Jeremiah

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Sorry, first of all English is not my first language, secondly i am just tired but couldn't fall asleep.

Ok i understand a little better now. But the way you are coming across makes it sound that you are intense.

I do still think you need to chill out a little, relax, learn new things maybe.

Forcing it, or trying to force God. Is not going to happen.

By all means pray into God but it also means listening to him as well, it also means trusting him. You can't pray better or their some sort of single prayer going around like a spell...

sorry but their isn't a prayer that just going to give you a girlfriend

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Sorry, first of all English is not my first language, secondly i am just tired but couldn't fall asleep. Sorry again if i sound rude or arrogant, but yes i felt like being single is a curse, the bible said its not good for man to be alone, that's why God create woman from a man's rib.

Hopefully God doesn't call me to be single for life, like Paul or Jeremiah

You've just contradicted yourself there.

Am bowing out now from this thread...... because of this...

 

[batmanspiderman]

thanks for your effort, good night.

P.S. I just watch Braveheart today and loved it.

 

[ReesePiece23]

These thought patterns of yours sound more like an addiction than a genuine desire. I shudder to think what you would actually be like if you HAD a girlfriend - and I say that with all due respect. I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

It's one thing to desire a partner. There's numerous reasons why, and it's not always because the person is 'lonely'. But to desire it above all else is taking it a bit too far.

God may very well want the same thing you want, but He doesn't want you to be distracted from the bigger picture. The bigger picture is the MOST crucial thing to be focused on.

 

[Goodbook]

I thought you meant you already had one and wanted to pray for her because you were worried about her. I was going to say Just pray for her like shes already there but you want her to be nearer to you.


Pray something like this
Dear Lord
I would like the girl you have in mind to be nearer to me, and that you will bless her in Jesus name. Help me to be her best friend just like you. You saved my life from sin, save hers. Amen

 

[redblue22]

you might tell God all these things you are saying here.

 

[Gnarwhal]

@ReesePiece23 makes some excellent points.

One thing to be wary of is that men and women avoid desperate people because chances are, if they date a desperate person, that person will NEVER give them space. They'll want to be attached at the hip 24/7. That's not a healthy way to live AT ALL.

I think it would be very wise for you to get counseling. I'm not sure what kind of options are available where you live, but there should be something. Some places make it more affordable than others, some Christian counseling programs will work with you and your financial situation. There's no shame in getting counseling, I've had plenty. The point is help us gain perspective on what really matters on life, and find out if there are any root issues that are hindering us. For you, it might be worth looking into because being so desperate for a girlfriend can be crippling.

If you do that, it'll help shape you into a well-adjusted human being and that would be more attractive to most women.

 

[AmericanSamurai]

Are you related to zxvw by any chance?

 

[AmericanSamurai]

I guess the OP never saw that meme of the hot chic that says something to the effect of: "No matter how hot she is, some guy is tired of putting up with her stuff".

 

[AmericanSamurai]

batman, are you into heavy women at all?

 

[blackribbon]

What do you think that "having a girlfriend" will solve in your life? It isn't her job to "make you happy" and if you expect that out of a relationship, you will be sorely disappointed. Your job in a Christian relationship/marriage is to SERVE her. Your body belongs to her. Your time belongs to her. Your money (once married) belongs to her. You have no control over anyone in the relationship except yourself so you can't really assume that she will act in a certain way.

And you are arrogant and ignorant if you believe that the rest of us that are single are "content" in our singleness. I had a great marriage. My husband died. I am working very hard to learn how to be content in a situation I am not happy about. The correct way to pray is to put your trust in God to provide the life He has chosen for you and that He will teach you to be content with honoring Him. To get mad at God for "not giving you a girlfriend" when you want it is very parallel to the child who gets made at his parents for not giving him ice cream when it is almost supper time. Sometimes we don't get what we want but that does not mean God doesn't love us.

 

[redblue22]

You've just contradicted yourself there.

Am bowing out now from this thread...... because of this...

Where is the contradiction?

 

[redblue22]

I reread all your rules. I definitely would talk to God about all these thoughts and feelings you have.