What can I do about lustful thoughts when I see another woman?

[Lostcontroll]

Hi, I have been porn-free since January after 8 years, but often when I see a woman, thoughts like "hot" come to mind, or if I accidentally look at someone's butt, I think that it looks good or other perverse thoughts..

I am in a relationship and I struggle against these thoughts in my head, and I don't want to accept them, I fight them and say to me that there are not true but what can I do to prevent them from arising in the first place?

Is it considered lustful if I have such thoughts but reject or don't want them and feel bad as a result?

I often have such thoughts about other people's appearances, even if they're not of a lustful nature. What can I do about it? Are these thoughts from Satan? Is it my own lust even if I reject them in my mind, sometimes only after a few seconds when I realize it?

Thanks!

 

[DragonFox91]

I've never been in a relationship but:
You being concerned about them is a big step. It tells me you're trying to do the right thing & you want your mind in the proper place. I am impressed!
I would say it's okay to think someone is visually appealing, if there's nothing sexual about the thoughts. If it's sexual, than, yeah that's definitely a problem. I don't think thinking 'she's cute' or something like that is bad. I would be concerned if it got more than that. This means making sure not to develop any kind of relationship w/ those people.
It always seems wrong to me when people married or in relationships say 'she's cute!' or something like that, & I would 100% make sure my girlfriend/wife is okay w/ those kinds of comments before doing them, but it seems to be pretty common & completely harmless.
The thoughts are your's completely, not from Satan. We make our own choices.
I would tell your girlfriend of your thoughts, just so she's aware. I don't know what your relationship is like, & it's hard for me to guess b/c I've never been in one, but make sure you're spending time with her & building a bond with her. That way you'll be less tempted to get any idea of acting out on any of those thoughts that seem contrary to your relationship.

 

[Lostcontroll]

I've never been in a relationship but:
You being concerned about them is a big step. It tells me you're trying to do the right thing & you want your mind in the proper place. I am impressed!
I would say it's okay to think someone is visually appealing, if there's nothing sexual about the thoughts. If it's sexual, than, yeah that's definitely a problem. I don't think thinking 'she's cute' or something like that is bad. I would be concerned if it got more than that. This means making sure not to develop any kind of relationship w/ those people.
It always seems wrong to me when people married or in relationships say 'she's cute!' or something like that, & I would 100% make sure my girlfriend/wife is okay w/ those kinds of comments before doing them, but it seems to be pretty common & completely harmless.
The thoughts are your's completely, not from Satan. We make our own choices.
I would tell your girlfriend of your thoughts, just so she's aware. I don't know what your relationship is like, & it's hard for me to guess b/c I've never been in one, but make sure you're spending time with her & building a bond with her. That way you'll be less tempted to get any idea of acting out on any of those thoughts that seem contrary to your relationship.

Thank you for your response. I communicate a lot with my girlfriend and I'm also honest with her. We pray together, and that really helps me!
I opened up to her about my intense pornography addiction of 8 years and with God's help, she helped me get out of it and I'm now free. However, these thoughts still linger whenever I see something, and I want to finally get rid of them. But I also believe that Satan is giving me these thoughts because I don't want them, but it's clear that Satan wants me to continue having such thoughts.
But no question, Jesus is stronger, and with Him, I will overcome it as well.

 

[seeking.IAM]

We are wired to be sexually attracted to others. Were it not so, we would have become extinct as a species a long time ago. Having a thought is one thing; dwelling on that thought and staying in it too long is another. The first is being human; the second is lust.

I was surprised when I married that I still found other women attractive. Forty-nine years later I still do. It's how it was intended to be. It's what you do with it that is important.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Hi, I have been inappropriate content-free since January after 8 years, but often when I see a woman, thoughts like "hot" come to mind, or if I accidentally look at someone's butt, I think that it looks good or other perverse thoughts..

I am in a relationship and I struggle against these thoughts in my head, and I don't want to accept them, I fight them and say to me that there are not true but what can I do to prevent them from arising in the first place?

Is it considered lustful if I have such thoughts but reject or don't want them and feel bad as a result?

I often have such thoughts about other people's appearances, even if they're not of a lustful nature. What can I do about it? Are these thoughts from Satan? Is it my own lust even if I reject them in my mind, sometimes only after a few seconds when I realize it?

Thanks!

My humblest opinion (and I am not a man, just for the record): You're a human being. Flesh and blood. It would be unrealistic to expect you to never notice when a beautiful woman is nearby. But noticing is not staring or lusting. A brief thought of "she looks hot" is not, in itself, a sin, in my opinion. It's what you do with the thought, that reveals your heart. If you simply notice that someone is attractive, and think "Hey, that person is really attractive", and then you immediately move your mind to something else, you haven't done anything wrong (again, my opinion). We're human beings, we have senses and impulses and hormones. We're going to notice things, and feel things. It's what we DO with those sensations and impressions, that matters.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Thank you for your response. I communicate a lot with my girlfriend and I'm also honest with her. We pray together, and that really helps me!
I opened up to her about my intense inappropriate contentography addiction of 8 years and with God's help, she helped me get out of it and I'm now free. However, these thoughts still linger whenever I see something, and I want to finally get rid of them. But I also believe that Satan is giving me these thoughts because I don't want them, but it's clear that Satan wants me to continue having such thoughts.
But no question, Jesus is stronger, and with Him, I will overcome it as well.

I applaud you for your honesty about this. I know it can't be easy to talk about. And well done on overcoming it for the past several months! The more aware you are of what tempts you and triggers your impulses, and the more open and honest you can remain with people who hold you accountable (your girlfriend, maybe a trusted male pastor or Christian friend would also be wise), the better your recovery will go. Be patient and kind to yourself. These types of addictions alter the brain's chemistry and function, and those effects can last for many years. Be vigilant, stay close to God, and if you ever feel yourself slipping, try to talk to someone ASAP. As I'm sure you know, shame and secrecy are the worst weapons for this kind of addiction. God bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

Hi, I have been inappropriate content-free since January after 8 years, but often when I see a woman, thoughts like "hot" come to mind, or if I accidentally look at someone's butt, I think that it looks good or other perverse thoughts..

I am in a relationship and I struggle against these thoughts in my head, and I don't want to accept them, I fight them and say to me that there are not true but what can I do to prevent them from arising in the first place?

Is it considered lustful if I have such thoughts but reject or don't want them and feel bad as a result?

I often have such thoughts about other people's appearances, even if they're not of a lustful nature. What can I do about it? Are these thoughts from Satan? Is it my own lust even if I reject them in my mind, sometimes only after a few seconds when I realize it?

Thanks!

There are really only one of two ways to handle any of these kinds of things, you could either always try to always get rid of them by always pushing them away completely, or you can acknowledge them for what they are and try not to panic and just naturally move on shortly thereafter, etc.

I don't know which way is better, but those are really your only two options, etc.

I do, or try, or experiment with both sometimes, and still don't know which way is better, or worse, yet, etc.

God Bless.

 

[HTacianas]

Hi, I have been inappropriate content-free since January after 8 years, but often when I see a woman, thoughts like "hot" come to mind, or if I accidentally look at someone's butt, I think that it looks good or other perverse thoughts..

I am in a relationship and I struggle against these thoughts in my head, and I don't want to accept them, I fight them and say to me that there are not true but what can I do to prevent them from arising in the first place?

Is it considered lustful if I have such thoughts but reject or don't want them and feel bad as a result?

I often have such thoughts about other people's appearances, even if they're not of a lustful nature. What can I do about it? Are these thoughts from Satan? Is it my own lust even if I reject them in my mind, sometimes only after a few seconds when I realize it?

Thanks!

To look at a woman and find her attractive is not necessarily lustful. It's only a problem when you begin to dwell on it and truly commit adultery in your heart that it becomes a problem. Those thoughts can either be "from Satan" or they can simply be from inside your own mind. Where the thoughts come from doesn't really matter, all that matters is that they exist, google logismoi.

 

[anetazo]

Don't act on it. If someone lusts after school teacher and seduces her. That's serious sin. Don't carry out the wicked action. The flesh is weak. Yes, the devil will try to test Christian people. Read first Corinthians chapter 10:13.

 

[tturt]

Yes it's entertaining those thoughts that was addressed. Jesus said "But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matt 5

The solution is in Scripture "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" II Cor 10:5

So when those thoughts come, immediately put your focus on God and His Word.

 

[look4hope]

A woman’s perspective here...
As you are involved with someone, it’s best to do all necessary to not act on it.
I acknowledge men who are attractive.
But as long as that is the only thought and not pursue anything beyond that.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

The Scripture says that God is faithful and is providing a way of escape with every temptation. Just look for that escape door.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ISV
13. No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it.

 

[Lost4words]

For me, its horrible! Everytime i go to the park my tongue just hangs out drooling!!!!!!

I get weird looks!

I have told my owner not to take me out on a hot day!!!! Woof!

 

[look4hope]

For me, its horrible! Everytime i go to the park my tongue just hangs out drooling!!!!!!

I get weird looks!

I have told my owner not to take me out on a hot day!!!! Woof!

Maybe drinking water will suffice

 

[Lost Witness]

Hi, I have been inappropriate content-free since January after 8 years, but often when I see a woman, thoughts like "hot" come to mind, or if I accidentally look at someone's butt, I think that it looks good or other perverse thoughts..

I am in a relationship and I struggle against these thoughts in my head, and I don't want to accept them, I fight them and say to me that there are not true but what can I do to prevent them from arising in the first place?

Is it considered lustful if I have such thoughts but reject or don't want them and feel bad as a result?

I often have such thoughts about other people's appearances, even if they're not of a lustful nature. What can I do about it? Are these thoughts from Satan? Is it my own lust even if I reject them in my mind, sometimes only after a few seconds when I realize it?

Thanks!

Yes, just rebuke them and lay them at the feet of the Lord....be they intentional,
Ask the LORD to forgive you and to cleanse your mind of all unrighteousness.

 

[Wolfgang85]

For me, its horrible! Everytime i go to the park my tongue just hangs out drooling!!!!!!

I get weird looks!

I have told my owner not to take me out on a hot day!!!! Woof!

People here discuss a serious problem with temptation / sin.
Don't You think it's inappropriate to make such jokes here?

 

[Lost4words]

People here discuss a serious problem with temptation / sin.
Don't You think it's inappropriate to make such jokes here?

Its not a joke though! Woof!