undiagnosed bipolar and denial

[brokenbeliever]

i am sure that my mother has bipolar. but she doesn't go to dr's unless it is an emergency, and doesn't take medication unless it is a serious illness. she also doesn't know much about mental disorders because she doesn't really even believe in psychology. she knows that she had a bad childhood, and she admits feeling depressed and anxious at times. but she doesn't realize that some of her symptoms are unhealthy and abnormal. and she is in denial that she really has any deep fears or emotional problems. her symptoms and behavior are however very obvious to anyone who has any common sense. because of all this and her lack of human decency in the way she treats people, i do not enjoy being around her. however i cannot come out and say look you have issues that you need to deal with. i've done all but come out and say it and she denies that she has any issues that need to be dealt with because she "trusts God" and that should take care of any emotional problems she may have ever had. hmmm..... does anyone have a friend or family member like her and how have you dealt with this person?

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Brokenbeliever


There is not much you can do but be honest and open with her.



If she should get to where she threatens her or others lives then you can have her committed to a mental health care unit where she will be forced to face it and take meds.




YOUR PRAYERS ARE MOST IMPORTANT WHILE YOU REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you ) steven

 

[brokenbeliever]

thanks, i do try to be as open and honest with her as emotionally possible.

 

[goldenviolet]

getting yourself support should be a piority. where we can't force others into help, we can gain support for ourselves. can you get support from your church and other family members? there is county mental health centers with crisis phone numbers if you need safety and understanding. you have us to encourage you too. blessings hun.

 

[brokenbeliever]

getting yourself support should be a piority. where we can't force others into help, we can gain support for ourselves. can you get support from your church and other family members? there is county mental health centers with crisis phone numbers if you need safety and understanding. you have us to encourage you too. blessings hun.

well thank God she lives half way across the country and i only see her like once a year. the problem is she was here last week and we faught as we always do. she is very unhealthy ie codependant, tries to put guilt trips on me, turns things around so the blame is on me, denies that she has any fault or problem, refuses to admit when she is responsible or wrong, etc. because of this, i put up healthy boundaries and i try to say it as nicely as possible. but she still gets mad. right now she is so mad that she sent me 4 hatemails and left two hate messages on my phone. my husband glanced thru the emails and deleted them so i wouldn't have to see them. i erased the phone messages without listening to them because i know she is mad right now. so this is what goes on between my mom and i over and over again. i keep hoping that she is going to be nicer next time i see her and she never is. if you have any advice, i am most grateful. thanks again.
oh yes the support. my husband is very supportive and i have 3 friends here in town as well as many in other states where i've previously lived who are also very supportive. and of course ya'll! i am truly appreciative.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Brokenbeliever


Send her emails about your LOVE for her. Thanking her for the LOVE she has given you when growing up.



Ask her to please not give up on you. That you continue to need her LOVE.



Tell her your sorry for your actions ( only ) and that you feel the problem is that we are so much alike.
Sort of like two bulls in a pen.



Don't say ONE word in your defence.



I CAN ONLY WONDER WHAT AN OUTPOURING OF LOVE WILL DO WHILE YOU
REMEMBER:



XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you ) steven

 

[rushingwind62]

i am sure that my mother has bipolar. but she doesn't go to dr's unless it is an emergency, and doesn't take medication unless it is a serious illness. she also doesn't know much about mental disorders because she doesn't really even believe in psychology. she knows that she had a bad childhood, and she admits feeling depressed and anxious at times. but she doesn't realize that some of her symptoms are unhealthy and abnormal. and she is in denial that she really has any deep fears or emotional problems. her symptoms and behavior are however very obvious to anyone who has any common sense. because of all this and her lack of human decency in the way she treats people, i do not enjoy being around her. however i cannot come out and say look you have issues that you need to deal with. i've done all but come out and say it and she denies that she has any issues that need to be dealt with because she "trusts God" and that should take care of any emotional problems she may have ever had. hmmm..... does anyone have a friend or family member like her and how have you dealt with this person?

brokenbeliever,
The first step to any recovery is admitting we have a problem. There is not much anyone can do until the person with the problem gets to that point. Your mom may not realize it but you do. Just be there for her because she does need your support and if she should fall into deep emotional problems she will really need you.
Pray, pray, and pray for your mom (as I am sure you do) and find a support group for yourself. There are many of them out there for family members of bi polar disorder and you will find you are not alone.

My prayers are with you and your mom....God Bless You and EVERYONE!!!! ...Rush

 

[goldenviolet]

well, sweetheart i do have some advice. this comes from person exsperiance. in dealling with people i am close to because of bloodlines, i have learned to not except their abuse. how i do it and still remain respectful and loving is to literally ignore the things that hurt me. i don't read the mail written in anger and sinful stuff. it is a stumbling block for me because i get sucked into the anger and hurt. if your hubby is willing, have him read the mail. he can see if it is nessasary. i have put a few years of distance between some family. to draw my boundries of personal sanity. so, my suggestion for you is to pray about how you can step back from the situation. (my family was physically and mentally abusive)... what do you need to step back from?
what is the stumbling blocks for you? how can you exspess your needs respectfully and firmly? what do you need to change about yourself to help?

as christians we are the ones responsible to take healling steps in the relationships in our lives. even if we are 'in the right'. so basically we need to humble ourselves to meet the needs of those in our lives as well remove the stumbling blocks from our path. it's not easy. infact it is a process of being wise, dilligent, kind, and prayerful. God gives us wisdom in these things and directs us. you just be willing. you are the seed... He is the savior. after i kept breaking off the relationship and drawing boundies, my family started respecting them. not polight and quiet. infact with curses and alot of hurt. it took time to weed through all of our faults as a family. but the persistant love and willingness to forgive and start over caused us to all grow. now we all have learned to love eachother. God will bless you. just ask. and trust His timing.

James 1
Greeting to the Twelve Tribes
1 James, a bondservant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad:
Greetings.
Profiting from Trials
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
The Perspective of Rich and Poor
9 Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, 10 but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. 11 For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits.
Loving God Under Trials
12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. 18 Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.
Qualities Needed in Trials
19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Doers—Not Hearers Only
21 Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. 27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

 

[419gam]

There is a big difference between having emotional issues and problems from an unpleasant childhood and being mentally ill. Its possible your mom could be bipolar, but it sounds more like she has other problems.

 

[godzdoll]

I understand you pain and grief. My Mom too suffers from this disease. She suffers from it severely, unfortunately. She is is in complete denial. My Mom mixed pot and alcohol with her disease which makes it even more difficult to live with her. She fights with me all the time making my life a living hell. She would pick on anything just to argue with me...and the worst part about it is that she would use God against me to justify her emotions towards me. She would tell me that God is going to punish me, God sees how bad of a daughter I am, God will make me suffer though my future children, I have the devil in me, I am an evil spirit, etc.. These words are very traumatizing especially when you love someone. Not only does she tell me these words but she acts upon them demonstrating absurd behavior by jumping, a big jump/leap to the ground to pray to the lord to take the devil out of her daughter, and other movements.
Its definitely not easy to deal with. I feel that personally by her being like this my whole life and not having any other family like a brother father or sister, I feel like I lost a lot of my childhood and education having to move out at only 17yrs old. I am now 25. My dream is to be a Nurse. I hope God hears my prayer.

 

[angelkiss]

Your momma sounds just like me when I was first diagnosed. I was in complete denial for the first two years. I didn't want meds and therapy and I tried pass'n it off as if everyone was just pick'n on me. My momma finally came straight out and told me that something had t'give cause I was become'n completely unbearable. I finally sought treatment and although I'm still on the roller-coaster, it turned out t'be the best thing for me and all those around me.
Lift'n both you and your momma up in prayer,
s and es!!

 

[cookiebaker]

Dear brokenbeliever,

I know how it is to have a family member in denial...however I dont understand why you would feel it would be wrong to tell her your concern about possibility she has a psychiatric illness.
I dont look at brain or psychiatric illness any different than diabetes, or other illnesses. If you thought she was diabetic, wouldnt you tell her she should see a doctor? It isnt a shameful thing, or a matter of hurting someone's feeligns, it's a medical matter

 

[Alaskamomma]

I still haven't fully accepted my illness yet either and I know I have been a pain in the rear at times because of it. I don't have any suggestions for you that haven't already been offered, but I will add my voice to prayer for your situation. God bless and hold fast!!!

 

[OneOfHisOwn]

I have had much the same experience both personally and with a parent and sibling with respect to denial. Good advice has already given. I only have one verse to add:

Hebrews 12:14 (New International Version)
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Some just may not want to live at peace with us, regardless of what we do. Don't beat yourself up if things just don't get better after you have given your all.

God give you strength and wisdom to know when you have done all, so that you can be at peace.