Why do I get so annoyed by guys who want to pursue me? Some of them legitly turned out to be immature, but sometimes I feel like there's no reason not to like them. I just can't. The last guy was talking to me rubbed me the wrong way by these things:
- When I brought up my interest in End Times prophecy, which I spend quite some time watching videos and reading books on, he goes, "Be careful! Be careful that you don't....blah blah (goes on to talk about false prophets and stuff) He also went on to talk about how the Book of Revelations was really a summary/overview of the Catholic Mass and then talked about this priest who showed him a book about it. That interpretation had to be the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
- We talked about how marriages don't last today because people give up on each other too easily. He then talks about how important it is for the man to get the father's blessing because the family should be involved in the decision on whether or not the couple should get married. He then said if the family had sound reservations on why the couple shouldn't be married, they shouldn't be married.
- I felt myself getting very annoyed with what this guy was saying. I also felt like he seemed a little (I struggle to find the word here--controlling, preachy,...) His laugh annoyed me.
The other guy--
-said corny things
-wanted to sleep over after the third date
-after the third date, as the check was begin brought to us, all of a sudden said, "You're going to get this one, right?" I was unprepared and angry but ended up paying anyway. Then he said, "I was waiting to see how you handled that."
-After a long talk about how I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, he goes and sends me a picture of himself in the shower. Then texts, "What do you think of my picture? Are you attracted to me?"
-We're at the movies and he asked me if I wanted anything to eat. I said no. He comes back with candy and two big ice creams cones and gives one to me.
Am I being too picky? I feel bad but these men make me so angry. I imagine myself getting into all of these fights with them in my head. With the first guy, coming home, wanting dinner made, getting annoyed if I won't cook, annoying me about the cleaning, etc. Coming up with some absurd way of doing something.
My perspective as a single guy:
I agree that maturity is important, but what one person considers to be mature another does not, and so all we can rely on is our own experiences, and what we consider to be mature by our own standards. I see nothing wrong with that. I expect the same from women.
I see nothing wrong with having a keen interest in end time prophecy. I study it too, because I want to know. The best bet, in my view, is to study it and let the Holy Spirit guide you. We are called to be sober and watch (1 Thessalonians 5:6, 1 Peter 4:7).
I've never been married, so I'm making an armchair observation here (grain of salt). Selfishness seems to play the biggest part in why marriages don't work. If more people were selfless and devoted to each other, committed to the lifelong relationship they chose, then marriages would last, I think. Of course, there is a lot more to it than that.
I dated a girl in high school that had very traditional parents, and her father made it known that it was his approval that was required for her hand. I saw nothing wrong with that. In fact, I thought it was refreshing that a parent wanted to be involved, but maybe I'm leaning traditional myself, I don't know. It's nice to have parents that care. The relationship didn't work out, but I appreciated her parents.
I've dated women who were controlling and preachy too, so it's not just a guy thing. Finding his laugh annoying might be a bit picky as a person can't control how they laugh, unless it's a fake laugh.
I know both guys and girls who thrive on their sense of humor (myself included). Some find dad jokes and puns corny, some find it hilarious. I don't know if I would consider that a deal breaker or not; depends on how annoying it is. If a woman doesn't laugh at my sense of humor I see that as a warning sign that we're not right for each other, as it's a core part of who I am. Corny or not, I've made women laugh throughout my life, which is enough to make me think I'm doing something right.
When dating, I think it's normal for both to pay equally. I take issue with being tested to see if I react appropriately. Two people should be able to get to know each other without bringing out the notepad and jotting down test numbers to see if you pass (metaphorically speaking).
Sending risque (or worse) pics is popular in online dating right now, sadly. I have a friend that gets those sorts of pictures all of the time because his son set up a profile for him on a dating app. If someone did that to me, hard pass.
I can't fault a guy for wanting to feed you. When you're getting to know someone, you can't read a person's mind. It is often the case that a woman will say no to food even though they do want something (my own experience), but it's difficult for a guy to know, and so erring on the side of caution and getting you something, even if you may not want it, in a guy's mind is the right thing to do.
Are you being too picky? I think that's subjective.
It's good to consider how things may be with a person, based on what you know, but really you don't know until you invest the time to get to know them. If I were to give any advice, it would be to have patience and understanding with men, and not be as judgmental about their quirks (or their perceived immaturity). Give a guy a chance, and you may be surprised. That said, if it feels wrong, it probably is. We have intuition for a reason.
God bless!
