Tips on long distance relationship.

[jannikitty]

Hi eagles, I just posted something like below on the prayer wall; but could use a tip or more from some of you who may be or have navigated these waters:
Was married over 50 years ...now widowed almost three. I have reconnected with someone I knew but did not date before I met my late husband who is also a widower of three years. We are finding we have much in common and growing fond of one another, however, we live in difference parts of the U.S. so now we are simply epals who also text. He is also a Christian but of a different denomination. Not sure where this is going and do hope it continues..but feeling somewhat uncertain at this point. It has been a long time for me..but I do have feelings anew for my old friend and current correspondent. Don't want to wreck it..and do consider the exchange gift from above. Need wisdom. Any tips or ideas based on your personal experiences. Testing mainly the waters in this. I am listening.

 

[nChrist]

I just recommend that you go slow and pray about this. You might also consider talking to your Pastor.

 

[Chesterton]

I don't have any tips, I'm afraid, but they can be difficult. I was in a long distance relationship which didn't work out, and the distance was a problem. I mean it certainly didn't help that she turned out to be the most hateful, sadistic, soulless evil creature ever to crawl out of the pits of Hades, but yeah the distance was a problem, too.

 

[rebornfree]

Hi eagles, I just posted something like below on the prayer wall; but could use a tip or more from some of you who may be or have navigated these waters:
Was married over 50 years ...now widowed almost three. I have reconnected with someone I knew but did not date before I met my late husband who is also a widower of three years. We are finding we have much in common and growing fond of one another, however, we live in difference parts of the U.S. so now we are simply epals who also text. He is also a Christian but of a different denomination. Not sure where this is going and do hope it continues..but feeling somewhat uncertain at this point. It has been a long time for me..but I do have feelings anew for my old friend and current correspondent. Don't want to wreck it..and do consider the exchange gift from above. Need wisdom. Any tips or ideas based on your personal experiences. Testing mainly the waters in this. I am listening.

I once wrote to a guy in Arizona, for about six months - I'm in the UK - but it never went beyond email friendship. I've also been out with men who lived in other parts of the UK but never so far as to make meeting up difficult, so I don't really have personal experience of long distance relationships.

There seems to be a lot of positives in your situation though. You are both Christians, know each other, have been married and widowed and get on well, so I would continue as you are and pray about it. I don't think that you are likely to wreck it but perhaps let him take the lead? (Am I being old-fashioned there?) Perhaps pray that he will invite you to meet if it is the Lord's will.

A couple of things to consider. If it is to be long-term does the denomination difference matter? I mean are there really different beliefs, or just superficial differences which don't affect the truth of the gospel? Also what are the practical issues of meeting and maybe one of you moving one day?

Just a few thoughts. My view is go for it; it's hard enough to find people to meet, don't miss out on one you know and like, but make sure that it is the Lord's will. HTH jannikitty and all the best.

 

[jannikitty]

I once wrote to a guy in Arizona, for about six months - I'm in the UK - but it never went beyond email friendship. I've also been out with men who lived in other parts of the UK but never so far as to make meeting up difficult, so I don't really have personal experience of long distance relationships.

There seems to be a lot of positives in your situation though. You are both Christians, know each other, have been married and widowed and get on well, so I would continue as you are and pray about it. I don't think that you are likely to wreck it but perhaps let him take the lead? (Am I being old-fashioned there?) Perhaps pray that he will invite you to meet if it is the Lord's will.

A couple of things to consider. If it is to be long-term does the denomination difference matter? I mean are there really different beliefs, or just superficial differences which don't affect the truth of the gospel? Also what are the practical issues of meeting and maybe one of you moving one day?

Just a few thoughts. My view is go for it; it's hard enough to find people to meet, don't miss out on one you know and like, but make sure that it is the Lord's will. HTH jannikitty and all the best.

Thanks, good points especially about the difference in denominations. Practical issues are important also..and I really don't want to move out of state away from family who sort of watch over me at my age. Since I wrote this request I have been somewhat dismayed with him and his responses. He will say he will be sharing something or even sending something via mail and then not follow through. And other clues as well which send up a bit of a warning flag to me, yet I don't want to become to critical and have unrealistic expectations. When I pray I get that I am to love him although I don't think I consider myself in love with him. It does continue to bug me and all you said is worth considering. Again, thanks.

 

[Tigger45]

Sounds like you have your head on straight

 

[jannikitty]

Sounds like you have your head on straight

Not as much as I would like but getting better. Thanks. Hey, I love St. Francis.

 

[rebornfree]

Thanks, good points especially about the difference in denominations. Practical issues are important also..and I really don't want to move out of state away from family who sort of watch over me at my age. Since I wrote this request I have been somewhat dismayed with him and his responses. He will say he will be sharing something or even sending something via mail and then not follow through. And other clues as well which send up a bit of a warning flag to me, yet I don't want to become to critical and have unrealistic expectations. When I pray I get that I am to love him although I don't think I consider myself in love with him. It does continue to bug me and all you said is worth considering. Again, thanks.

You're very welcome jannikitty; I hope all is going well for you. Proverbs 3 v 5, 6 come to mind.