Hi,
I'm Evan.
I grew up a Christian. My parents were divorced when I was 8. My mom went on to become a pastor and she currently travels the world, mostly Asia to start up churches in remote areas where people have never even heard of God. Needless to say I never missed a Sunday service all the way up until I moved out to go to college. I really made an effort to be religious but it got me no where. I never really found God on a personal level even though I knew everything there is to know about being a good Christian. I finally stopped going to church once I realized that it was just a routine, a very boring one.
About a year ago I was invited to a church, Rock Harbor, by an old church friend. I showed up not really expecting anything. I didn't stand up to sing when everyone else started standing up. I pretty much told myself that I wasn't going to do things just because everyone else is doing it. I just refused to play along. So I listened to the message and it was good, but it's not anything I didn't already know. At the end when people started going up to pray, I just sat at my seat thinking about why I was even there in the first place. The emptiness and frustration that I felt was overwhelming. I KNOW God exists, but why have I never sensed Him? I decided then that I want to have a personal relationship with God. I was sick and tired of faking it and going along with the flow. I was sick and tired of being a "Christian". I wanted Him for myself. I wanted that experience. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I just asked God to look and see my heart. I wanted Him to see that I really meant it this time and He's going to have to show me how because I haven't a clue.
Fast forward a year to now. It's been a long road for me. My walk with God has been shaky. There were times when I went sideways or even backward. But it has changed my life nonetheless. I have a sense of purpose. I know I want to get to know God, not just knowing of Him. I feel a sense of peace whenever I just ask God to take over me. So here's my prayer:
"God, I don't just sin. I AM a sinner. I just pray that you look and see my brokeness. I give up trying to do it all myself. I give you this mess that I am and I want you to take over me. Break me down and build me up a new person. Show me what it is like to know you, not just knowing about you. I have nothing to offer and I know I'm not worthy of your grace. So I put it all in your hands. Let your will be done. In your name I pray. Amen!"
I'm Evan.
I grew up a Christian. My parents were divorced when I was 8. My mom went on to become a pastor and she currently travels the world, mostly Asia to start up churches in remote areas where people have never even heard of God. Needless to say I never missed a Sunday service all the way up until I moved out to go to college. I really made an effort to be religious but it got me no where. I never really found God on a personal level even though I knew everything there is to know about being a good Christian. I finally stopped going to church once I realized that it was just a routine, a very boring one.
About a year ago I was invited to a church, Rock Harbor, by an old church friend. I showed up not really expecting anything. I didn't stand up to sing when everyone else started standing up. I pretty much told myself that I wasn't going to do things just because everyone else is doing it. I just refused to play along. So I listened to the message and it was good, but it's not anything I didn't already know. At the end when people started going up to pray, I just sat at my seat thinking about why I was even there in the first place. The emptiness and frustration that I felt was overwhelming. I KNOW God exists, but why have I never sensed Him? I decided then that I want to have a personal relationship with God. I was sick and tired of faking it and going along with the flow. I was sick and tired of being a "Christian". I wanted Him for myself. I wanted that experience. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I just asked God to look and see my heart. I wanted Him to see that I really meant it this time and He's going to have to show me how because I haven't a clue.
Fast forward a year to now. It's been a long road for me. My walk with God has been shaky. There were times when I went sideways or even backward. But it has changed my life nonetheless. I have a sense of purpose. I know I want to get to know God, not just knowing of Him. I feel a sense of peace whenever I just ask God to take over me. So here's my prayer:
"God, I don't just sin. I AM a sinner. I just pray that you look and see my brokeness. I give up trying to do it all myself. I give you this mess that I am and I want you to take over me. Break me down and build me up a new person. Show me what it is like to know you, not just knowing about you. I have nothing to offer and I know I'm not worthy of your grace. So I put it all in your hands. Let your will be done. In your name I pray. Amen!"
