The Outgoing Girl vs. The Shy Girl

[leothelioness]

There is also some truth to the idea that men often aren't thinking about personality first. You might not like to think about it that way, but it's just the way it is.

In a way that's good as my personality isn't really evident when I don't really know someone, but in a way it's bad because aside from personality, the thing men initially look at is beauty and I don't exactly have that.

 

[Sketcher]

In a way that's good as my personality isn't really evident when I don't really know someone, but in a way it's bad because aside from personality, the thing men initially look at is beauty and I don't exactly have that.

Not true.

 

[timbo81]

the thing men initially look at is beauty and I don't exactly have that.

really ?

judging from your photo I wouldn't think you'd have a hard time, I wouldn't say no

I think you're selling yourself short so to speak

 

[Tenken07]

In a way that's good as my personality isn't really evident when I don't really know someone, but in a way it's bad because aside from personality, the thing men initially look at is beauty and I don't exactly have that.

lol, you arent ugly.

 

[fishin4christ]

I'm a shy fellow and I normally click better with shy ladies. That's not always the case though.

 

[toastface_grillah]

I like shy girls that open up after breaking the ice with her.

This. Outgoing girls are great, but most, if not all, of my most satisfying friendships with girls were with shy gals who opened up to me. Sometimes, with an outgoing girl, what you see is what you get, but when a shy girl opens up to you, it's like she's admitting you to a realm that few people get to see.

 

[Wren]

but when a shy girl opens up to you, it's like she's admitting you to a realm that few people get to see.

I like that . It's a great (and poetic) way of looking at it.

 

[Bitnd12]

but when a shy girl opens up to you, it's like she's admitting you to a realm that few people get to see.

This.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Geez, I wish people found my shyness attractive.

People just end up thinking I'm a jerk and that I hate them.

I am very quiet and anxious all the time. I don't like sharing personal things with people I don't know (when we're in person - online, I'm anonymous, no one knows me from Eve). And I have difficulty looking at people when they are speaking to me/when I am speaking to them. I usually look at my hands or my feet, or the ceiling. Or, anywhere but the person addressing me.

So it makes people think that I am rude and that I do not like them.

But really I'm just nervous, nervous, nervous.

Nothing attractive about it at all. =/

 

[Atlantians]

Shy is hard to talk to... until the barriers are broken. May be deep or shallow.
Outgoing is easy to talk to... but may be a facade for shy depth and the like... or shallow.

Either/or in my view as long as the criterion I hold are met.


I myself am outgoing, brazen, and bold... but this is a facade for a deep shy sad loneliness that eats away at my tender soul in the depths of my being...

 

[GoodNewsJim]

The thing with a shy man and a shy woman is that it is unlikely either of them will ever make the first move. God can make unlikely things happen though.

 

[Atlantians]

The thing with a shy man and a shy woman is that it is unlikely either of them will ever make the first move. God can make unlikely things happen though.

lol true!

 

[Trashionista]

I have no idea which one I am, TBH...

Generally, I think outgoing people generally have more dates, more steadies, and what have you. I just think it's a lot easier to flirt with someone outgoing - even if they don't quite feel the same way, you know they're blase enough about it to still maintain the friendship.

I don't want to paint everyone who's shy with the same brush, but if the person were shy, worked up the courage to tell me they liked me, and I didn't feel the same way... I would feel worse. Like, they really worked up all this courage and I shot them down. At least the outgoing person won't feel that they can't do it again - because they've probably been rejected enough to know it's 50/50, or 80/20 or whatever. I think it would be harder to keep the friendship with the shy person than the outgoing person in a way.

I don't know. This is just my FPOV.

 

[Sketcher]

I have no idea which one I am, TBH...

Generally, I think outgoing people generally have more dates, more steadies, and what have you. I just think it's a lot easier to flirt with someone outgoing - even if they don't quite feel the same way, you know they're blase enough about it to still maintain the friendship.

I don't want to paint everyone who's shy with the same brush, but if the person were shy, worked up the courage to tell me they liked me, and I didn't feel the same way... I would feel worse. Like, they really worked up all this courage and I shot them down. At least the outgoing person won't feel that they can't do it again - because they've probably been rejected enough to know it's 50/50, or 80/20 or whatever. I think it would be harder to keep the friendship with the shy person than the outgoing person in a way.

I don't know. This is just my FPOV.

Yeah, but what's worse - that, or leading them on and then shutting them down. Especially if they've driven you batty because you're the new center of their universe because you said yes when they asked you out.

 

[Trashionista]

Yeah, but what's worse - that, or leading them on and then shutting them down. Especially if they've driven you batty because you're the new center of their universe because you said yes when they asked you out.

I'm not saying in my post to lead people on... just that it feels ten times worse to reject a shy dude as opposed to an outgoing, player type who's constantly got dates lined up.

I don't know where you got the suggestion to lead people on from my first post, but there's the clarification.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm not saying in my post to lead people on... just that it feels ten times worse to reject a shy dude as opposed to an outgoing, player type who's constantly got dates lined up.

I don't know where you got the suggestion to lead people on from my first post, but there's the clarification.

Right, I'm not saying that you did. Rather, we just need to look at the alternative and do what we need to do.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I'd probably be attracted to the shy girl, but as I've said elsewhere, I am so inept with girls that I'd need the girl to make the first move, and a shy girl would never do that.

 

[toastface_grillah]

I like that . It's a great (and poetic) way of looking at it.

This.

Thanks! Quiet girls take more work getting to know them, but they're worth it.