The Excuse Game

[Matthew-59]

I only wish I could, but the last time I was at the grocery store they banned me from shopping there. They accused me of eating all the bananas and then going ape at the checkout counter when they tried to charge me for something that wasn't even in my grocery cart. The nerve!

Fix my broken chair.

 

[lucypevensie]

Chairs are unhealthy because they encourage a sedentary lifestyle, and I don't want you to be unhealthy.

Read me a story.

 

[Matthew-59]

When I sat down in me broken chair that you refuse to fix, I dun broke me reading spectacles. Sat right on 'em... CRUNCH!!! Now I can't see good enuff to read a story to you.

Sew a patch over the hole in the knee on my work pants.

 

[lucypevensie]

You'll probably just wear a hole through the patch, so that's pointless.

Make some lunch for us, will ya?

 

[MissRowy]

No because you ate all my food

Fix the dent in my car please

 

[Matthew-59]

I usually use a toilet plunger to pull dents out of car fenders, but since I can't find my plunger I guess I can't help you.

You should eat a thick porterhouse steak.

 

[MissRowy]

Cant....the cows suddenly developed Mad Cow disease...if I eat steak I will go crazy and die...
Write a mathematics lesson for me to teach on tuesday

 

[lucypevensie]

All I know is 2+2=4, and there probably aren't too many ways you could work off that.

Could you please fix my DVR?

 

[MissRowy]

I left my tools at home...

Can you cook dinner for me and my partner?

 

[lucypevensie]

I'm afraid you might have hidden allergies, and I couldn't live with myself knowing I might make you sick.

It's getting cold out there. Please turn on the heat.

 

[MissRowy]

Sorry the heater broke due to overuse so you will have to use a blanket instead

Can you take me to the bank?

 

[lucypevensie]

Only if you can withdraw $200 from said bank for me. Otherwise, no, there's nothing in it for me.

Can you fix the oil leak in my engine?

 

[Aratinga]

Sorry. Can't do that or the balsamic vinegar leak in your engine would overpower the dressing.

Please find my missing sock.

 

[lucypevensie]

It wasn't me who lost it, so no.

Sing me to sleep?

 

[MissRowy]

Im afraid that my voicebox is inflamed so I may sound like a demented teapot

can you wake me up tomorrow at 7am?

 

[Matthew-59]

I don't think you would appreciate my method of waking people up. I use a bullhorn and two sticks of dynamite.

Would you please go to the post office and mail some letters for me?

 

[MissRowy]

Sorry the post office closed and the mailbox went missing....

Can you buy me a new keyboard for my friends computer?

 

[Matthew-59]

Since keyboards are an accessory and not a necessity, I don't think I should contribute to your friend's excessive lifestyle.

Make some breakfast for me.

 

[lucypevensie]

It's past breakfast time, so no. It's more like lunch time now, and no, I can't make it for you because I just cleaned the kitchen and I want it to stay clean.

But could we all go out for dinner tonight?

 

[MissRowy]

We could but my car has broken down and the buses and trains arent running

Could you clean my bedroom please?