- Feb 5, 2002
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At lunch the other day, one of my coworkers asked me rather innocently, “how’s married life?”
I guess I could’ve given her the canned response, “It’s great!” But I have a hard time telling half-truths. It never feels authentic to me to not give an honest answer in moments like these. Even if it almost always means making things awkward.
I can’t remember my response word for word, but I know it went something like this: “It’s definitely awesome, but it’s also really, really challenging.”
“Really?” my coworker replied, “how so?”
And when we eventually broke up, I’d say, “I’m just not happy anymore.”
Advice from my support system was usually some version of, “You need to do what’s right for you. You need to do what makes you happy.”
When we’re dating, it’s all about us and our happiness. And if that happiness is ever compromised, we have full permission to leave.
Even when you find yourself in a stable, happy relationship, you still have the freedom to (for example) take a job in another state—if you think it’s what’s best for you.
Continued below.
I guess I could’ve given her the canned response, “It’s great!” But I have a hard time telling half-truths. It never feels authentic to me to not give an honest answer in moments like these. Even if it almost always means making things awkward.
I can’t remember my response word for word, but I know it went something like this: “It’s definitely awesome, but it’s also really, really challenging.”
“Really?” my coworker replied, “how so?”
Dating is about you
Maybe not for everyone. Maybe there are selfless daters out there just looking for someone they can make happy. But I wasn’t one of them.In the past (and before I became a Christian) when I started dating someone new, I’d say to my friends, “I like him so much. He just makes me so happy.”
And when we eventually broke up, I’d say, “I’m just not happy anymore.”
Advice from my support system was usually some version of, “You need to do what’s right for you. You need to do what makes you happy.”
When we’re dating, it’s all about us and our happiness. And if that happiness is ever compromised, we have full permission to leave.
Even when you find yourself in a stable, happy relationship, you still have the freedom to (for example) take a job in another state—if you think it’s what’s best for you.
Marriage is about us
Continued below.
