The Bible's "Divorce and Re-marry Clause"

[TheGuide]

I've known people who struggled with this, which is why it's important to read and discern the word of God ourselves. Pastors aren't perfect, so never take a pastor's teaching as absolute. Read what Jesus said on the subject of divorce then take his word for it.

In follow-up to a popular thread trending on this site, it has been my experience, and observation, that divorce happens because the husband was cheating, or he left her for another woman. Hence the Sexual Immorality clause, i.e. the moment he joined with another woman the marriage vow was broken. That's why Jesus said if a man leaves his marriage bed and lays with another he causes his wife to commit adultery since he will return to his wife and likely have sex with her, making her an unknowing victim to this sin. After all, there is no marriage anymore. So, if divorce arrives from this circumstance then a Christian man can marry the divorced woman without concern.

Now if the husband and wife reconcile, or the husband ends the second relationship and wants to be faithful to his wife, then they must remarry because, with the broken vow, they are no longer married in the eyes of our Lord. Does the husband have to tell his wife about the affair (if she didn't already know)? If he wants to, I know I wouldn't. Anyway, a second proposal of marriage would be seen as a romantic gesture, and he should work hard not to let it happen again.

 

[Carl Emerson]

You might comment on when an un-believing partner is unfaithful and then files for separation against the believers wishes...
Can the believer in this case marry again?

 

[Sketcher]

In follow-up to a popular thread trending on this site, it has been my experience, and observation, that divorce happens because the husband was cheating, or he left her for another woman. Hence the Sexual Immorality clause, i.e. the moment he joined with another woman the marriage vow was broken. That's why Jesus said if a man leaves his marriage bed and lays with another he causes his wife to commit adultery since he will return to his wife and likely have sex with her, making her an unknowing victim to this sin. After all, there is no marriage anymore. So, if divorce arrives from this circumstance then a Christian man can marry the divorced woman without concern.

Let's look at the passages:

"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:31-32

"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." - Matthew 19:9

The grounds for the husband initiating divorce, if they are for anything other than the wife's sexual immorality, make her an adulteress, because she is assumed to remarry here. In the case of sexual immorality by the wife, she already made herself an adulteress, so that doesn't apply. When she didn't commit sexual immorality, it is clear from Scripture that remarriage in both cases is adultery. It is not as clear in the case of her committing sexual immorality - she is certainly committing adultery in that case, but if he were to remarry, it is not as clear if he were to be committing adultery.

 

[SkyWriting]

The Bible's "Divorce and Re-marry Clause"

The goal of marriage is for it to model a person's commitment to God.
For this reason, the commitment should be monogamous and permanent.
We don't live in a perfect world, so every marriage will not measure up.
We must accept that and not try to outlaw imperfection.

 

[TheGuide]

You might comment on when an un-believing partner is unfaithful and then files for separation against the believers wishes...
Can the believer in this case marry again?

"Unfaithful" being the key word, because it is what breaks the marriage vow. So, upon documented divorce, the believer can remarry as Jesus noted in the scripture.

 

[jamesbond007]

The goal of marriage is for it to model a person's commitment to God.
For this reason, the commitment should be monogamous and permanent.
We don't live in a perfect world, so every marriage will not measure up.
We must accept that and not try to outlaw imperfection.

I'm not sure how one can outlaw imperfection when we live in a fallen world.

I recently learned about the Adamic covenent and its two parts, 1) Edenic covenant (innocence) and 2) Adamic covenant (grace). It seems the Adamic covenant (grace) has to deal with curses due to Adam's sin and makes marriage difficult.

Edenic covenant (innocence)
Mankind (male and female) created in God’s image.
Mankind’s dominion (rule) over the animal kingdom.
Divine directive for mankind to reproduce and inhabit the entire Earth.
Mankind to be vegetarian (eating of meat established in the Noahic covenant: Genesis 9:3).
Eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil forbidden (with death as the stated penalty).

Adamic covenant (grace)
Enmity between Satan and Eve and her descendants.
Painful childbirth for women.
Marital strife.
The soil cursed.
Introduction of thorns and thistles.
Survival to be a struggle.
Death introduced.
Death will be the inescapable fate of all living things.

Thus, we need God to help guide us through the curses of the wages of sin.

 

[Unqualified]

‘Except’ for sexual immorality. If you spouse commits adultery you are free to remarry.

 

[SPF]

That's why Jesus said if a man leaves his marriage bed and lays with another he causes his wife to commit adultery since he will return to his wife and likely have sex with her, making her an unknowing victim to this sin.

A husband and a wife can not commit adultery by having sex. Adultery is when a person, either married or unmarried has sex with a married person.

The context of the passage in Matthew is one in which it was assumed the divorced wife would get remarried. The husband essentially "makes" her commit adultery because getting a divorce on paper does not actually mean that a married couple is divorced in the eyes of the Lord.

The exception clauses exists because adultery is the only action one spouse can commit that is capable of severing the one flesh covenant.

Therefore, the wife is "made" to commit adultery if she gets remarried when the reason for the divorce was anything BUT adultery. However, per the exception clause - if the divorce occurred because of adultery, then the wife would not be committing adultery by remarrying.

 

[TheGuide]

A husband and a wife can not commit adultery by having sex. Adultery is when a person, either married or unmarried has sex with a married person.

If he joins with another woman the marriage vow is broken. Jesus plainly laid it out there. If the vow is broken the marriage is over. They would either have to re-marry or she can go on her merry way and marry another.

 

[SPF]

If he joins with another woman the marriage vow is broken. Jesus plainly laid it out there. If the vow is broken the marriage is over. They would either have to re-marry or she can go on her merry way and marry another.

I don’t disagree with that. Remarriage is permitted when a divorce takes place due to adultery.

Reconciliation should always be explored first, but given our fallen world, sometimes reconciliation is not possible.

 

[CatsRule2020]

This is an interesting thread. Even if we go back past our old commentaries and to the original meaning of 'pornea', and hold to what the punishment called for to those who committed adultery, we find that there is no loophole for Christian couples.

This is frightening for folks today. We are tempted so much more to split up than those Christians back in the New Testament days. The only clear way for the Christian to be able to end their marriage is in 1Cor 7:14,15 when their non-Christian spouse has abandoned them for not giving up Christ.

Now we may feel like those 12 disciples when they said that if this is the case with not being able to easily divorce, then it is best not to marry.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I have been working on the other thread, and it is continuing to change given comments and advice. However, I believe that true, domestic violence is a valid reason for divorce according to scripture. Why?

1) Jesus did say adultery was the only case for divorce, but we see that:

a. Paul states another case for divorce 1 Cor 17:15, so Biblically it is not the ONLY case listed in scripture​

b. Paul goes on to say “it is God's pleasure that we may be at peace with one another.”​

c. Jesus said of the Law, of which any command can be said to be law when it comes out of His mouth, that He is not after strict observance, but rather the Spirit of protection afforded by the Law (Mathew 12:1-8), stating "Instead of offering sacrifices to me, I want you to be merciful to others?"​

d. It is clear that “enforcing” Mathew 19:9 in a legalistic way results in harm to victims of domestic violence.​

e. Domestic violence is a breaking of the contract of “be[ing] at peace with one another” stated in 1 Cor 17:15​

2) I believe as long as an attempt is made to see if the relationship can be recovered, if the domestic violence victim can not be protected she should leave the relationship without guilt.

a. Forcing celibacy according to scripture like 1 Cor 7:10-11 (which is designed to recover relationships) on the woman may cause her to rightly hate Christ. In a similar way to the following scripture: “Don't put young widows on the list. They may later have a strong desire to get married. Then they will turn away from Christ” 1Ti 5:11​

 

[Junia]

This is an interesting thread. Even if we go back past our old commentaries and to the original meaning of 'pornea', and hold to what the punishment called for to those who committed adultery, we find that there is no loophole for Christian couples.

This is frightening for folks today. We are tempted so much more to split up than those Christians back in the New Testament days. The only clear way for the Christian to be able to end their marriage is in 1Cor 7:14,15 when their non-Christian spouse has abandoned them for not giving up Christ.

Now we may feel like those 12 disciples when they said that if this is the case with not being able to easily divorce, then it is best not to marry.

I think as well, there was an assumption in Jesus day that a wife would remarry as life was hard for single women then. Nowadays many women are happy to live without a partner so many divorced women and widows are providing foe themselves and family without need of a second mate.