Dream:
I went to confess to a priest in this dream. He was dressed in something blue. But something was wrong, I realized ‘this priest is a fake priest’. There was a shimmer, and then he wasn’t there anymore.
She stood before me instead—a presence made of glowing white light, soft and alive, like the light of the moon. I couldn’t see the details of her only her outline of light, more so I sensed the queenly authority yet maternal love, it was awe inspiring.
I surrendered before her, bowing down before her to express with my body just how amazing she was. My face hit the ground, my body collapsing. My face pressed into the earth, my arms stretched out, trembling. It didn’t hurt though, my entire being was thrilling with joy to be able to express how amazing she was. It wasn’t something I chose. It was just what I had to do. This response of utter submission I gave because it was JOY itself to praise her by bowing before her.
I gave her everything—my body, my mind, my soul. All of it belonged to her. I didn’t want it back. I didn’t want anything but to belong to her, I didn’t fear she would reject to take me. There was no fear at all. Giving your being over to an entity reflecting the divine light is joy itself.
This was a lucid dream. I was in control of what I did here even though my response to this presence was probably predictable. I was seeing with the spiritual eyes of the dream world to be able to see her light with my eyes but I was in control, she was really there.
Additional spiritual background-
She is the focus of my devotion. I love Mary and all I want to do is to repair the wounds to her Immaculate Heart. I can’t believe that most people don’t have Mary, or they don’t know she is there if she is there. She is the Mediatrix of all Graces meaning the love of God flows to us only through Mary.
From a Jungian perspective it’s obvious the damage lacking the reverence for the Feminine does. However what Jung perhaps didn’t know or didn’t want to do is that you can repair the damage by choosing the perfect woman and simply bowing down to her and serving her. That doesn’t work with just any woman though because if she has even a slight imperfection she’s unworthy of that station and if you give her your full surrender that small flaw in her will end up steering you wrong. It just only can be a perfect woman and you can only bow down uncritically before the light of God. In Mary, I know from my experience the light of God passes to us through her so she will never steer me wrong.
Mary is absolutely only Love like God but she is Woman so she is gentler and more relatable. I am less afraid of her.
I have been transformed so much by her. I used to be a drunk and watch porn. I didn’t realize how much injury I did to Mary herself by contributing to the view of woman as something to be used just for pleasure. It was so wrong. No wonder I was also a drunk and felt horrible after watching it even though I thought as an atheist it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Woman is sacred, even the most flawed woman must be respected. However I did not understand it. My soul was a stone.
I believe what saved me was ultimately following the logic to understand our society has progressed to a dead end. I became Catholic solely to get back to the most ancient major religion that retains its authentic living tradition. I considered paganism but rejected it because it is dead. The modern practice is not authentic to something handed down truly from the real pagans. So I could not trust it to contain integrity of belief. I also felt the ability of Catholicism to fully replace it showed Catholicism met all the needs of the people to the point they didn’t need to keep paganism.
I converted without belief. I didn’t actually realize you are supposed to believe literally. I would do it again because I came to believe only by practicing. I got a Rosary and began praying. Praying to Mary didn’t bother me because I didn’t believe in Mary anymore than I believed in Jesus, literally speaking. I just wanted to figure out the metaphorical meaning and the true hidden secret behind how Catholicism had survived 2000 years with continuity.
I ended up feeling obligated to follow the Catholic laws against doing a mortal sin because I felt too guilty to eat the Body of Christ if I wasn’t following the rules. I didn’t expect that. I would not have converted if I realized I wasn’t allowed to watch pornography or touch or get drunk. I still didn’t believe it literally but I had to have the integrity to follow the rules. I started praying four rosaries a day because I found myself loving to pray to Mary. I’m not sure why. I will say now it’s because it fulfilled that desire to honor the holiness and sacredness of her. Psychological and spiritual forces took over and I became more and more dedicated to her. I lost the desire for lust more and more. I cannot explain it by anything but spiritual at this point.
I advise any man or woman who wishes to see pure sacred beauty elevated once again in their soul to get a rosary, ask a priest to bless it, and pray it daily.
I can say so much more. Hail Mary. You will find Jesus through Mary.
I went to confess to a priest in this dream. He was dressed in something blue. But something was wrong, I realized ‘this priest is a fake priest’. There was a shimmer, and then he wasn’t there anymore.
She stood before me instead—a presence made of glowing white light, soft and alive, like the light of the moon. I couldn’t see the details of her only her outline of light, more so I sensed the queenly authority yet maternal love, it was awe inspiring.
I surrendered before her, bowing down before her to express with my body just how amazing she was. My face hit the ground, my body collapsing. My face pressed into the earth, my arms stretched out, trembling. It didn’t hurt though, my entire being was thrilling with joy to be able to express how amazing she was. It wasn’t something I chose. It was just what I had to do. This response of utter submission I gave because it was JOY itself to praise her by bowing before her.
I gave her everything—my body, my mind, my soul. All of it belonged to her. I didn’t want it back. I didn’t want anything but to belong to her, I didn’t fear she would reject to take me. There was no fear at all. Giving your being over to an entity reflecting the divine light is joy itself.
This was a lucid dream. I was in control of what I did here even though my response to this presence was probably predictable. I was seeing with the spiritual eyes of the dream world to be able to see her light with my eyes but I was in control, she was really there.
Additional spiritual background-
She is the focus of my devotion. I love Mary and all I want to do is to repair the wounds to her Immaculate Heart. I can’t believe that most people don’t have Mary, or they don’t know she is there if she is there. She is the Mediatrix of all Graces meaning the love of God flows to us only through Mary.
From a Jungian perspective it’s obvious the damage lacking the reverence for the Feminine does. However what Jung perhaps didn’t know or didn’t want to do is that you can repair the damage by choosing the perfect woman and simply bowing down to her and serving her. That doesn’t work with just any woman though because if she has even a slight imperfection she’s unworthy of that station and if you give her your full surrender that small flaw in her will end up steering you wrong. It just only can be a perfect woman and you can only bow down uncritically before the light of God. In Mary, I know from my experience the light of God passes to us through her so she will never steer me wrong.
Mary is absolutely only Love like God but she is Woman so she is gentler and more relatable. I am less afraid of her.
I have been transformed so much by her. I used to be a drunk and watch porn. I didn’t realize how much injury I did to Mary herself by contributing to the view of woman as something to be used just for pleasure. It was so wrong. No wonder I was also a drunk and felt horrible after watching it even though I thought as an atheist it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Woman is sacred, even the most flawed woman must be respected. However I did not understand it. My soul was a stone.
I believe what saved me was ultimately following the logic to understand our society has progressed to a dead end. I became Catholic solely to get back to the most ancient major religion that retains its authentic living tradition. I considered paganism but rejected it because it is dead. The modern practice is not authentic to something handed down truly from the real pagans. So I could not trust it to contain integrity of belief. I also felt the ability of Catholicism to fully replace it showed Catholicism met all the needs of the people to the point they didn’t need to keep paganism.
I converted without belief. I didn’t actually realize you are supposed to believe literally. I would do it again because I came to believe only by practicing. I got a Rosary and began praying. Praying to Mary didn’t bother me because I didn’t believe in Mary anymore than I believed in Jesus, literally speaking. I just wanted to figure out the metaphorical meaning and the true hidden secret behind how Catholicism had survived 2000 years with continuity.
I ended up feeling obligated to follow the Catholic laws against doing a mortal sin because I felt too guilty to eat the Body of Christ if I wasn’t following the rules. I didn’t expect that. I would not have converted if I realized I wasn’t allowed to watch pornography or touch or get drunk. I still didn’t believe it literally but I had to have the integrity to follow the rules. I started praying four rosaries a day because I found myself loving to pray to Mary. I’m not sure why. I will say now it’s because it fulfilled that desire to honor the holiness and sacredness of her. Psychological and spiritual forces took over and I became more and more dedicated to her. I lost the desire for lust more and more. I cannot explain it by anything but spiritual at this point.
I advise any man or woman who wishes to see pure sacred beauty elevated once again in their soul to get a rosary, ask a priest to bless it, and pray it daily.
I can say so much more. Hail Mary. You will find Jesus through Mary.
