I am 24 years old and am out of the parsonage. My identity has for so long been "Pastor so and so's kid". How did you fellow PK's separate that from your identity so that you could just be yourself and not feel as though you are known only as your father's child?
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Separating PK from your Identity
- Thread starter Want2DoRite84
- Start date
- Feb 29, 2004
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- United States
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- Male
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- Anglican
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It happened quite easily for me, and with great relief I might add. I never relished my PK status. Rather I resisted it. Oh sure, when I was a younger child I basked in the extra attention. By the time I was a teenager and striving for independence, PK status had become a burden.
I thought it devalued who I was as a person. If I lived as a Christian and made good behavior choices, it seemed like others did not give me any credit for the decision(s); rather it was "Well of course he did, he's the Preacher's kid..." as if my dad did it for me. Similarly, if I made a poor behavioral choice parishoners saw my error as somehow worse than their own children's, "Did you hear what the preacher's kid did?..."
I was very happy to leave that behind and enter a world where others would like me or not, and judge me or not based upon who I was as a person rather than what my dad did for a living.
I also worked to see what I might achieve on my own so that when I stood in the spotlight, it was my spotlight and not one I shared with my dad.
Best wishes.
seeking.IM
<><
I thought it devalued who I was as a person. If I lived as a Christian and made good behavior choices, it seemed like others did not give me any credit for the decision(s); rather it was "Well of course he did, he's the Preacher's kid..." as if my dad did it for me. Similarly, if I made a poor behavioral choice parishoners saw my error as somehow worse than their own children's, "Did you hear what the preacher's kid did?..."
I was very happy to leave that behind and enter a world where others would like me or not, and judge me or not based upon who I was as a person rather than what my dad did for a living.
I also worked to see what I might achieve on my own so that when I stood in the spotlight, it was my spotlight and not one I shared with my dad.
Best wishes.
seeking.IM
<><
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One thing... take it one day at a time and explore what your real beliefs are.
Then, once you establish that you are loved by God no matter what and He has a plan for just YOU. You will start to see your path clearer. I have been a Baptist PK for years. I moved away from my town wherever it seemed I always was running into church folks that knew who I was. So, sometimes we have to gradually move away from it and see where our identity comes from. You are God's creature and He will show you who you are... but, until then, just rest in that you are a child of God and safe in HIS identity. There may be times when you will be glad you were raised in a pastor's home and other times you will need to find for yourself your own path. Just keep looking up to God for what HE tells you. Always Trust in your "Father" He knows best.
blessings,
Jewels
Then, once you establish that you are loved by God no matter what and He has a plan for just YOU. You will start to see your path clearer. I have been a Baptist PK for years. I moved away from my town wherever it seemed I always was running into church folks that knew who I was. So, sometimes we have to gradually move away from it and see where our identity comes from. You are God's creature and He will show you who you are... but, until then, just rest in that you are a child of God and safe in HIS identity. There may be times when you will be glad you were raised in a pastor's home and other times you will need to find for yourself your own path. Just keep looking up to God for what HE tells you. Always Trust in your "Father" He knows best.
blessings,
Jewels
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