Promise Rings

[Carri20]

What exactly is a promise ring, and what is the difference between that and an engagement ring?

 

[invisiblebabe]

A promise ring is a promise to be engaged later, or something...

My personal opinion is that a promise ring entails a promise to be married "someday," whereas an engagement ring entails a specific date or month.

 

[kiwishaq]

From what I gather a promise ring is, as invisible babe said, a promise to get married someday, or to be with each other forever. I don't really see the point of a promise ring. If you're ready to get married, then give her an engagement ring, otherwise, isn't it a promise ring instilling a sort of false hope of marriage, which might not actually happen. If you're not ready to get married, then should you be making that commitment to say that you will be someday? I don't think so. A lot can change in a few years.

Personally I don't see the need for them. The first thing I think of when I hear about promise rings is two 15 year olds promising to be together for life, it just doesn't sit right with me!

If you're not ready for marriage (and engagement) yet, then I don't see how a promise ring will help. Why not just be content in the stage of your relationship, rather than try and 'create' another stage where you become promised to one another!

 

[sweetdarlin2u]

From what I gather a promise ring is, as invisible babe said, a promise to get married someday, or to be with each other forever. I don't really see the point of a promise ring. If you're ready to get married, then give her an engagement ring, otherwise, isn't it a promise ring instilling a sort of false hope of marriage, which might not actually happen. If you're not ready to get married, then should you be making that commitment to say that you will be someday? I don't think so. A lot can change in a few years.

Personally I don't see the need for them. The first thing I think of when I hear about promise rings is two 15 year olds promising to be together for life, it just doesn't sit right with me!

If you're not ready for marriage (and engagement) yet, then I don't see how a promise ring will help. Why not just be content in the stage of your relationship, rather than try and 'create' another stage where you become promised to one another!

That is a very good point, however I believe in some situations promise rings are a valid stage in a relationship. What it is EXACTLY is the guy promising the girl he will propose to her. Perhaps the couple has decided that they do not want to get engaged until a certain time, but that doesn't change the fact that they DO want to get engaged.

An example, probly a bad one, of this sort of situation is... the parents of one of the couple doesn't want them to get engaged until... say... the girl gets out of college. Well, they're very serious about their relationship and in order to honor her parents the guy gives her a promise ring instead - vowing to ask her to marry him when she gets out. It isn't a necessary thing, sure they could just be content and happy. But it doesn't necessarily have to be out of discontentment either - simply a loving action? Promise rings are just something people have to think about and figure out if they apply to the relationship.

It's a level of intimacy between simply dating and being engaged. Not necessary, but there if desired.

*shrugs* just mho.

in Christ,
danielle b

 

[Carri20]

Hmm, I see. Well I think the idea of a promise ring is very sweet in certain situations.
Thanks for all your thoughts on the subject.

 

[kiwishaq]

Not necessary, but there if desired.

Yeah I guess this is the crux of the issue. A promise ring isn't necessary at all, but if a couple wants to have that 'security' in a relationship (a security which I'm dubious of nonetheless), then it's really up to them. Not for me, but if others wish to use them it's really their choice isn't it.

 

[Iggster]

What exactly is a promise ring, and what is the difference between that and an engagement ring?

promise ring....hmmm......you might as well get a Cracker Jack Box and give the girl the plastic ring. In other words, not only is it a cheap knock off, but a way to decieve a girl to getting in bed with a guy. Just my .02 cents....There's no commitment in that....Don't be fooled ladies.

 

[Leanna]

I think promise rings are absurd. If you're willing to "promise" to marry the girl, then ask her to marry you. If you are too young to get engaged then you are too young to "promise" your life to that person also.

 

[Maeyken]

I don't see the point of promise rings either, for many of the same reasons that other people have posted. To me, it seems like promise rings are a promise of marriage, with less commitment than engagement. I don't think that's right.

Isn't engagement a promise to marry? Then a promise ring is a promise of a promise to marry?? I don't see the point. I don't think people should date until they're ready to soon consider marriage, so then there's no need for the "promise ring" stage of relationship.

I don't see a problem with a guy giving a girl a pretty ring, but I don't think she should wear any ring on her left hand ring finger until they're engaged.

 

[FaithfulServant]

I agree with others that a promise ring doesn't have a point - they're just trying to create an extra stage before engagment that doesn't exist.

 

[Maeyken]

I agree with others that a promise ring doesn't have a point - they're just trying to create an extra stage before engagment that doesn't exist.

I agree... promise rings *are* like adding an extra stage.
The way I see relationships is that there is dating (or courting) and marriage. Engagement is the transition period between the two. Where do promise rings fit in? It's not a good idea to start the transition to marriage too soon, and I think with a promise ring stage, that temptation (emotional, not sexual) is even easier to fall into. You're more likely to be playing at being husband and wife long before you are ready to be married.

 

[Carri20]

promise ring....hmmm......you might as well get a Cracker Jack Box and give the girl the plastic ring. In other words, not only is it a cheap knock off, but a way to decieve a girl to getting in bed with a guy. Just my .02 cents....There's no commitment in that....Don't be fooled ladies.

Ouch, you guys don't seem to like promise rings at all lol. But about the above comment, isn't it a little unfair to say that promise rings are all about deception and sex? I'm sure most of the guys who give their girlfriends promise rings are doing it with kind, decent, loving intentions. I don't doubt their meaning can be abused, but is that really the norm in the Christian community? I mean if my boyfriend gives me a promise ring should I head for the hills? lol

 

[Iggster]

Ouch, you guys don't seem to like promise rings at all lol. But about the above comment, isn't it a little unfair to say that promise rings are all about deception and sex? I'm sure most of the guys who give their girlfriends promise rings are doing it with kind, decent, loving intentions. I don't doubt their meaning can be abused, but is that really the norm in the Christian community? I mean if my boyfriend gives me a promise ring should I head for the hills? lol

Not all guys are like that. But I'm a big brother to a lil sis. The good guys that will stay true to you wouldn't give you anything less than an engagement ring. Engagement ring does equal promise to marry, no? But if promise ring is a promise to marry, then what are engagement rings for? Doesn't add up. Besides, my lil sis is still not married. So promise rings to me doesn't mean squat. Might as well give the girl a cigar band.

 

[KristianJ]

I think the basic concept of engagement as people have outline here makes a promise ring redundant. The more promises that you make in a relationship, the harder the pressure will be on you to meet those promises, and to put all your eggs in one basket too early can be disastrous. I think it's just as valid and as special to give your partner a piece of jewellery without attaching a promise to it.

 

[Inperfected]

Hmm... I have been given a "promise" ring... Just he forget to say "he'd" give me the next ring. I got the next ring from his best friend at the time... well yes. I"ve sort of had another promise ring, but it was from myself, meaning i was promised to my future husband.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I don't believe a proposal is necessary for engagement. If two people have a ring, a wedding date, and other people know about both of the above, why not just call it what it is and say it is engagement? Even if the guy is saving up for a real ring in the future, the real ring and/or proposal will not change the relationship status or the wedding date.

However I think "promise rings" in the real sense of the word are stupid, as there is no true commitment behind them other than "someday."

 

[MagicStar723]

I have a "promise ring" and I really think it depends on the situation. I was only 16 when I got mine. We knew we would be together but didn't feel that we were old enough for the engagement but wanted to make the commitment and have a symbol of that commitment. We will make the engagement "official" closer to the wedding.

 

[sweetdarlin2u]

I have a "promise ring" and I really think it depends on the situation. I was only 16 when I got mine. We knew we would be together but didn't feel that we were old enough for the engagement but wanted to make the commitment and have a symbol of that commitment. We will make the engagement "official" closer to the wedding.

That's much more along the lines of what I was trying to say. To say they're completely absurd is pretty biased. Maybe to some situations, but not all.

in Christ,
danielle b

 

[Carri20]

Hopefully we can at least agree that promise rings work for some people, and that a couple's relationship shouldn't be looked down upon just because they choose to wear them.

 

[Maeyken]

I don't think you'll ever get me to agree that promise rings are a *good* idea, but I won't hate a person for wearing one. I don't see the necessity of it, in any situation, but obviously some people do and that's their business, not mine