Ive been dating my girlfriend for about 2yrs now. i love her, were both christians and we have had sex plenty of times and were not married yet. i know what the bible says about sex and every time we do it, right after i feel guilty. but this week it got really bad cuz while i was doing it i started to feel guilty. how much worse is it that i know what im doing is wrong, yet i continue to do it anyway? ive become a slave to it to where i dont know if i can stop doing it with her. i try to justify it by saying i really do think she is the one and i do love her and would marry her. ive had sex with other girls in the past, both in love and not in love. i cant help but feel guilty about it. will i be forgiven even if i know what im doing is wrong, but cant stop?
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Premarital Sex..can it be forgiven?
- Thread starter JRO116
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Amber Bird
We have enough gun control.We need idiot control!
If you are a Bible believing Christian the answer is eternally, YES!
Be blessed, enjoy life, God loves you.
Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.
Hebrews 10:18 (ESV)
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Avniel
Doing my part each day by being the best me
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Trick of the enemy Donnie has a song called we fall down sometimes when I sin and feel ashamed or mad at myself I listen to it because we do fall down but we get back up.
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TheyCallMeDave
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The fact that you feel guilty about it, is evidence that the Holy Spirit of God is in you and working thru your Moral Conscience. This is a wonderful thing ! Just think...the almighty God of this entire Universe cares about you so much that he visited this upon you because he loves you personally and doesnt want to see you or you g/f hurt or get pregnant out of wedlock.
Yes, you can be forgiven by simply doing what 1 John 1:9 says to do and then turning from this particular sin that has you ensnared. This is going to require you BOTH working together on it and recommitted your lives to Christ in obedience . You can BOTH keep the other accountable to not allowing thigns to lead in that direction. Also, id pray that God would reduce BOTH of your sex drives, stay away from very romantic situations , never let Porn into your lives in any form, and ask for Gods power to live for him.
As Jesus said ;" GO , and sin no more" . Bless you for having a sensitive heart and mind that includes love for God to a high degree.
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Well, I think God will forgive you any sin that you repent and will help you to overcome any temptation if you ask Him to do so. See 1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
So of course God will forgive you if you ask Him, each time you ask Him, assuming that you really do repent. But I don't know why that you feel that you can't stop - if you really believe this is a sin, a thing that means death, then your belief in God should include the belief that He will save you from giving in to the temptation itself, not just its consequences. As a Christian, you're a free human being not a machine or an animal - your faith enables you to do anything, morally speaking, that you really will to do, though it may be and feel very difficult to do it. If you mean that you really don't want to stop, and are finding it very difficult, I understand and sympathise but you are going to have move on from this way of thinking at some point; there is too much pain and cognitive dissonance involved in trying to live like that (that is, wanting to repent of a sin but hold on to it at the same time).
So you need to figure out if you really accept the teaching that this is a sin or whether, deep down, you believe the justification that you've being offering yourself - i.e. whether you believe that the fact that you love her and mean to marry her makes it good in God's eyes to have sex with her without actually marrying her. If you don't believe that, you need to decide what you will do with God's forgiveness once you have it - how can you prevent yourself from committing the same sin again? What needs to happen in your relationship, living arrangements, church-going etc? In any case, I think you need to make a choice one way or another. We can't pray St Augustine's prayer ("Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet") forever - it's not a very happy or stable mental place to be.
So of course God will forgive you if you ask Him, each time you ask Him, assuming that you really do repent. But I don't know why that you feel that you can't stop - if you really believe this is a sin, a thing that means death, then your belief in God should include the belief that He will save you from giving in to the temptation itself, not just its consequences. As a Christian, you're a free human being not a machine or an animal - your faith enables you to do anything, morally speaking, that you really will to do, though it may be and feel very difficult to do it. If you mean that you really don't want to stop, and are finding it very difficult, I understand and sympathise but you are going to have move on from this way of thinking at some point; there is too much pain and cognitive dissonance involved in trying to live like that (that is, wanting to repent of a sin but hold on to it at the same time).
So you need to figure out if you really accept the teaching that this is a sin or whether, deep down, you believe the justification that you've being offering yourself - i.e. whether you believe that the fact that you love her and mean to marry her makes it good in God's eyes to have sex with her without actually marrying her. If you don't believe that, you need to decide what you will do with God's forgiveness once you have it - how can you prevent yourself from committing the same sin again? What needs to happen in your relationship, living arrangements, church-going etc? In any case, I think you need to make a choice one way or another. We can't pray St Augustine's prayer ("Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet") forever - it's not a very happy or stable mental place to be.
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All4HISglory
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Yes you can be forgiven.
You also mentioned will you be forgiven if you cant stop?
God is s keeper and He is able to keep that which is committed to Him. You have options so that you can no long commit the sin.
You can 1. seek God and turn from the sin allowing Him to strengthen you along the way. You may have to do all that you can possibly do to flee from those desires. And or 2. Marry.
Either way, you are able to refrain from fornication.
And again, YES, you are able to be forgiven. God loves you and sees past your faults!
You also mentioned will you be forgiven if you cant stop?
God is s keeper and He is able to keep that which is committed to Him. You have options so that you can no long commit the sin.
You can 1. seek God and turn from the sin allowing Him to strengthen you along the way. You may have to do all that you can possibly do to flee from those desires. And or 2. Marry.
Either way, you are able to refrain from fornication.
And again, YES, you are able to be forgiven. God loves you and sees past your faults!
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CounselorForChrist
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Amen to the above post. Theres no reason it can't be forgiven since we as humans have been forgiven of some of the most immoral things we can think of.
I had sex with a ex-fiance of mine before marriage. My current fiance when we met felt bad beacuse she had sex before marriage with someone else. She asked for forgivness. I told her she was forigven but that she also does not need to ask me for it because things happen! I can't judge her based on the past. And as my soon to be wife I don't require to always ask for forgivness because as a team we are are suppose to be forgiving and understanding of each other!
Oh and I also told her I had sex before marriage with someone to. So it made her feeling better knowing I understood what it was like making a mistake. Also justifying why its ok to sin is dangerous. I know because I justified many many sexual encounters with my ex-fiance. I was going to marry her so sex was ok before then I would say. Such a big mistake I made!
Just picture God crying because he loves you more then anyone else and is so sad you keep sinning even though he tells you not too. Obviously it is not easy to get out of a sin that is holding us hostage, but it can be done. I say this as someone who has a sin of my own I am trying to escape from. Its alot of work, but in the end its worth it.
And might I add that I can agree sex feels good. But trust me, if your not married then its just meaningless sex. Unless your married and therefor blessed by God, then sex is just sex and nothing more. When your married sex you have will feel diffrent and bonding because you know you are married and God is ok with sex as a couple. Until then God in no way is happy when you do have sex.
I had sex with a ex-fiance of mine before marriage. My current fiance when we met felt bad beacuse she had sex before marriage with someone else. She asked for forgivness. I told her she was forigven but that she also does not need to ask me for it because things happen! I can't judge her based on the past. And as my soon to be wife I don't require to always ask for forgivness because as a team we are are suppose to be forgiving and understanding of each other!
Oh and I also told her I had sex before marriage with someone to. So it made her feeling better knowing I understood what it was like making a mistake. Also justifying why its ok to sin is dangerous. I know because I justified many many sexual encounters with my ex-fiance. I was going to marry her so sex was ok before then I would say. Such a big mistake I made!
Of course you will be forgiven BUT... remember that if you are doing something you know is a sin, but keep doing it you are playing a VERY beyond dangerous game. When you feel like your want to have sex stop for a second and think "Would Jesus be doing this if he had a fiance?". The answer is no obvisouly.
Just picture God crying because he loves you more then anyone else and is so sad you keep sinning even though he tells you not too. Obviously it is not easy to get out of a sin that is holding us hostage, but it can be done. I say this as someone who has a sin of my own I am trying to escape from. Its alot of work, but in the end its worth it.
And might I add that I can agree sex feels good. But trust me, if your not married then its just meaningless sex. Unless your married and therefor blessed by God, then sex is just sex and nothing more. When your married sex you have will feel diffrent and bonding because you know you are married and God is ok with sex as a couple. Until then God in no way is happy when you do have sex.
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If you're big enough people to act like you're married, then you should go ahead and get married. It's not rocket science, my friend!
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Jupiter Drops
be like a flower and turn your face to the sun
Go and ask for God to forgive you now. Confess every bit of your sins which trouble you. He will give you rest (Matt 11:28). He welcomes everyone with open arms. You can be freed from being slave to sex by confronting this issue with Christ.
He loves you, and that is why He sent His only son on earth to die and be resurrected again, because nothing on this planet is sacred. But He washed us, and now we can be clean through Him (John 3:16).
Seek some excellent pastors who could help you with this issue. Be careful in finding a good church and not some false ones in your area.
Go and sin no more (John 8:11).
Read this:
Free from Sin, Slaves of Righteousness, Part 2 - Desiring God
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You can stop, because as a Christian you are not a slave to sin, let alone accountable for it.
So put your pants back on, apologize for fornicating, and flee from sexual immorality like the Bible says.
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