Okay, so the situation is kinda not a fun thing to think about but I'd like to get some feedback on it.
I've been leading a Bible study at my apartment complex since March. I've had problems since we started.
At one point, people were not showing up to Bible study because they were having conflicts with other people in the Bible study group (that were unrelated to the Bible study itself). I live in subsidized housing so it is a place where people have a lot of problems. I was trying to get at the root of the conflicts so people could make up so everyone could come to the Bible study. This went on for longer than a month just trying to get at the bottom of the conflicts. One person would tell me one thing and another person would tell me something completely different. They were not talking to each other. I asked my pastor for advice since it was getting a bit much. He asked me if there was a specific person who was causing most of the conflicts. And after thinking for a short time, I realized that there were several people who were not showing up to the Bible study because of one person. So I had to have a hard conversation I didn't want to have with that person. I told them they could come to Bible study but they had to apologize to those three people who weren't showing up to Bible study because of them. I never knew who was totally telling the truth and it is possible no one was telling the whole truth. But I figured that there were three different people who were not coming to Bible study because of her so she was likely at fault. Here's where it gets sad. She did not want to apologize to them. She sort of apologized to one person but it wasn't actually apologizing for doing something wrong. I don't think she really knew why she had to apologize to another person. I think I told both her and him to talk about why she had to apologize. She never apologized to him. And then she had a major conflict with another woman who I told to apologize to. Then days later she died. Apparently, she overdosed on something. I don't know what she overdosed on, but I know she was on some pretty heavy-duty painkillers as she had a lot of health problems. She was talking with another person who used to come to the Bible study but stopped when I told the woman she had to apologize to those other people some things she had to do if she died.
Now my question: Given I don't know what the woman who died was thinking, I don't know:
1) If she was living in unrepentant sin when she died.
2) If she died by suicide.
3) If telling her she had to apologize to those other people to be back in Bible study is what led to her dying by suicide because it may have originally been her idea to have the Bible study and she really liked it, but she didn't want to apologize.
In other words, is it my fault?
.png)
