My husband and I have been married five years, together for eight. We married semi-young, he being 23 and me being 21. We have a daughter who is 2.5. We both grew up in the church and I thought we did everything "right" (no sex before marriage, didn't live together, etc). However, neither one of us truly had a relationship with Jesus Christ as our personal Savior. This became apparent to me quickly, as although I was definitely not where I should be spiritually I started to resent my husband's lack of headship, lax attitude towards church, and inability to pray out loud for us. My husband and I are quite different in many ways. When he is angry or upset he shuts down and refuses to speak. He avoids confrontation and is passive aggressive. I, on the other hand, want to get everything out in the open and hash it out. His passiveness was frustrating to me and I would often resort to name calling, yelling, and at times threatening divorce as this was how my parents "faught" with us. I realize now how long this was.
After our daughter was born things really came to a head. My husband seemed dis-interested in family life and work and friends seemed to always take priority. I felt like a single parent and very disrespected. He felt nagged, controlled, etc. In January he confessed he was unhappy and I admitted the same. We spent a few months trying to make it work and then he came to me and said he had kissed another woman and I should divorce him. I refused, saying I wanted to do counseling instead. He refused to go to counseling, and we spent another few months trying to make things work on our own. During this time he was telling me constantly he didn't want to be married, felt controlled, etc. He was also staying out most nights until well after midnight. I became increasingly hurt and bitter. This led to more name calling and yelling on my part. Around this time I also began to draw closer to God and understand his true decree for marriage, which is that it should last a lifetime.
Everything came to a head one night when my husband said he was going to go as female friends date to a wedding. I was outraged and very hurt. He admitted he never actually kissed a woman as he previously said and moved out that weekend. This was three months ago today. The next few months were spent fighting, pleading (on my part), and feeling so incredibly depressed. I felt he had abandoned our daughter and I as he saw her seldom. He filed for divorce around that time, but by the grace of God the paperwork got messed up at the court. We still have yet to have a court date set even for an initial hearing, but are three months into the mandatory six month waiitng period in our state. One month ago, after the aforementioned months of fighting, I told him I loved him and was so sorry for everything. He seemed to hear this for the first time, and what ensued was a few weeks of flirting, some talk of reconciliation, etc, only to have him back off when things got more serious.
He is no longer going to church that I know of, and says "God wants him to be happy." He is becoming more involved with this other woman, Michelle, and asked how I would feel if he officially entered a relationship with her. This was so, so painful, but I believe God will restore my marriage. If you would be so kind, please pray that God will do what it takes to bring my husband, Andrew, back to Himself. That'll He'll bind Michelle and put someone else in her life to take her from my husband. That He will open both of their eyes and that they'll see themselves as God sees them. That He will restore in Andrew a love and longing for me, Heather, and a desire to be married.
Thank you all sooo much!
After our daughter was born things really came to a head. My husband seemed dis-interested in family life and work and friends seemed to always take priority. I felt like a single parent and very disrespected. He felt nagged, controlled, etc. In January he confessed he was unhappy and I admitted the same. We spent a few months trying to make it work and then he came to me and said he had kissed another woman and I should divorce him. I refused, saying I wanted to do counseling instead. He refused to go to counseling, and we spent another few months trying to make things work on our own. During this time he was telling me constantly he didn't want to be married, felt controlled, etc. He was also staying out most nights until well after midnight. I became increasingly hurt and bitter. This led to more name calling and yelling on my part. Around this time I also began to draw closer to God and understand his true decree for marriage, which is that it should last a lifetime.
Everything came to a head one night when my husband said he was going to go as female friends date to a wedding. I was outraged and very hurt. He admitted he never actually kissed a woman as he previously said and moved out that weekend. This was three months ago today. The next few months were spent fighting, pleading (on my part), and feeling so incredibly depressed. I felt he had abandoned our daughter and I as he saw her seldom. He filed for divorce around that time, but by the grace of God the paperwork got messed up at the court. We still have yet to have a court date set even for an initial hearing, but are three months into the mandatory six month waiitng period in our state. One month ago, after the aforementioned months of fighting, I told him I loved him and was so sorry for everything. He seemed to hear this for the first time, and what ensued was a few weeks of flirting, some talk of reconciliation, etc, only to have him back off when things got more serious.
He is no longer going to church that I know of, and says "God wants him to be happy." He is becoming more involved with this other woman, Michelle, and asked how I would feel if he officially entered a relationship with her. This was so, so painful, but I believe God will restore my marriage. If you would be so kind, please pray that God will do what it takes to bring my husband, Andrew, back to Himself. That'll He'll bind Michelle and put someone else in her life to take her from my husband. That He will open both of their eyes and that they'll see themselves as God sees them. That He will restore in Andrew a love and longing for me, Heather, and a desire to be married.
Thank you all sooo much!
