Porn Addiction

[ChristianDM]

Hi, I have been fighting a porn addiction for quite some time. I have made steps to prevent myself from doing it anymore. I'm looking for advice or words of wisdom. I know watching porn is stupid and wrong. Every time I do it I hate myself a little more. I feel worthless at time and feel like I don't I deserve forgiveness. I know what I am doing is wrong as I do it. I know we have a forgiving God but it is hard to grasp how he can forgive me when I keep doing the same sin again and again knowing it is wrong.

 

[Pastor James Collins]

We all become compulsive on occasion, and I believe God accepts that because he has an immeasurable love for all. However, I think that with an addiction to Pornography you must simply put your mind to stopping it and pray that it works.

 

[drjean]

1 in 4 Christian men are addicted to pornography.
It does not go away on it's own.
It leads to more aggressive behavior.
It's an addiction and it requires professional help to conquer.

 

[salt-n-light]

Hi, I have been fighting a porn addiction for quite some time. I have made steps to prevent myself from doing it anymore. I'm looking for advice or words of wisdom. I know watching porn is stupid and wrong. Every time I do it I hate myself a little more. I feel worthless at time and feel like I don't I deserve forgiveness. I know what I am doing is wrong as I do it. I know we have a forgiving God but it is hard to grasp how he can forgive me when I keep doing the same sin again and again knowing it is wrong.

You are not your relapse.

With any addiction or habit, it will take time to permanently rid of it. To actually block porn off is as easy as having an app, but to actually turn away is a mental thing, and you have to set yourself up in case of relapse how to bounce back and not feel defeated. God gave us the Word to overcome, so I would set some scriptures up that you can recall anything the temptation arises. Accountability partners are also helpful, or just being able to personally be able to talk to someone about it is very helpful. But again, give yourself grace when you fall, and don't claim defeat.

Remember we are God's kids now, you are not a slave to your body anymore, remind yourself that and lean on God for strength.

 

[R. Hartono]

Only if u train ur body with fasting, try one day in a week without eating, 1x24 HR n repeat itu every week drink water only, it Will forge ur soul, control isnt about wisdom

 

[Doug Melven]

Hi, I have been fighting a porn addiction for quite some time. I have made steps to prevent myself from doing it anymore. I'm looking for advice or words of wisdom. I know watching porn is stupid and wrong. Every time I do it I hate myself a little more. I feel worthless at time and feel like I don't I deserve forgiveness. I know what I am doing is wrong as I do it. I know we have a forgiving God but it is hard to grasp how he can forgive me when I keep doing the same sin again and again knowing it is wrong.

You should never forget and always remember and focus on the Truth that God loves you so much.
Even when you fall, His love for you never changes.
He has already forgiven you.
He promised He would not hold our sin against us.
The most important thing you need to do as soon as possible after falling is to run to Him and thank Him that He has already forgiven you.
It won't be long and you will be running to Him before you fall.

This worked for me. I was heavily addicted to child porn. I spent almost 5 years in prison.
Shortly after I was locked up I gave my life to Christ. Even after I got out I still had these desires. It was deeply rooted in me. But learning how much God loved me and approved of me despite my failures was a huge help in breaking the addiction.
Another thing that will help is if you get an accountability partner. Someone you trust so you can tell your story and they can pray with you.

 

[Job3315]

Hi, I have been fighting a porn addiction for quite some time. I have made steps to prevent myself from doing it anymore. I'm looking for advice or words of wisdom. I know watching porn is stupid and wrong. Every time I do it I hate myself a little more. I feel worthless at time and feel like I don't I deserve forgiveness. I know what I am doing is wrong as I do it. I know we have a forgiving God but it is hard to grasp how he can forgive me when I keep doing the same sin again and again knowing it is wrong.

There’s a movie called The Heart of Man, I suggest you watch it.

Also, I heard a Christian counselor say once that if you are fighting an addiction, everytime you get an urge get a piece of paper and start writing whats going on on your mind. To do it for a few minutes. If you still feel the need to do what you wanted to do, to go ahead and do it, but that most likely the urge will go away.

Wish you the best!

 

[Emily Foster]

Hi there! Welcome to this forum. It’s good of you to reach out here, friend. Pornography is tenacious and progressive in nature -- to put it another way, porn is powerful because it offers a counterfeit form of intimacy and attachment. You’ll find plenty of useful information here: bit.ly/2rv0gfq. I’ll be praying that God will surround you with His infinite love and provide strength to overcome your struggles as you seek His guidance.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

1 in 4 Christian men are addicted to pornography.
It does not go away on it's own.
It leads to more aggressive behavior.
It's an addiction and it requires professional help to conquer.

Sorry but I have to take issue with the claim "it leads to more aggressive behavior". That is not necessarily the case, and I do not believe it is the case for the vast majority especially among Christian men. What I am saying is that while there are exceptions, it is not the case in every instance. In no way am I condoning or excusing what is grievous sin that needs to be repented of and dealt with, I am simply addressing an assumption that is stigmatizing Christian men struggling with addition to porn using fear. In my twenties, as a devoted Christian, I actually missed out on an opportunity to date a Christian girl, because her father interviewed me, without me realizing what his intentions were at the time, asking if I had ever watched porn, and I answered honestly, and based on the assumption that "it leads to more aggressive behavior", he made me feel like a rapist, when in fact I had never slept with a woman even once up to that time. So his presupposition totally ruined my chances of ever dating one of his beautiful Christian daughters, despite the fact his family and my family had gone to the same Church for about ten years, despite the fact at the time, I was attending the Church this man started. I know you meant well drjean, sorry for the disagreement, I thought it needed to be addressed. It is an addiction, but I am not sure how professional help could be of more help than God the Holy Spirit in the situation. People with addictions, have impulses and should an impulse arise find ways to fulfill that addiction, even when knowing and realizing how wrong sinful and shameful it is. Maybe a professional could help strengthen the mental aspect, I don't know about the emotional or spiritual aspects.

 

[drjean]

The impact of pornography on relationships, individual health, and society is in the public eye more than ever before. Pornography use is widespread, and often problematic, and has been shown to generally have a negative impact on couples and gender relations, leading men and women to devalue one another. While there may be exceptions in which pornography depicts healthy sexual activity and respectful gender relations, the rule is that pornography is dominated by hostile sexism, frequently violence, and general dehumanization and objectification. Because of how sex impacts the brain, pornography essentially short-circuits other systems, becoming not only addictive, but also undermining secure attachment, mutual relatedness, and intimacy. 4 Ways Porn Use Causes Problems

It is still a form of sin.

No one who understands that those who are being watched are often being trafficked, drugged and otherwise dominated. It is not a good life. Those who make, and who use porn are mentally unwell. Most who watch porn have other behavioral issues, psychological hang ups and general misfit into society.

Recently a well-known preacher on cable TBN explained why he and his wife and friends have put many blocks to his porn addiction into place. Kerry Shook doesn't go online without his wife and friends knowing it, and where he is on the net...just to begin with... but listening to his sermon confession left me with "hey, he still enjoys his infidelity"... just my pov.

 

[Nihouni]

Hi Christian. I work with guys whose porn addiction has led them down a very dark path. One of the things that I noticed from your post is that you hate yourself after you have used porn. That's natural as we know that it is something that God would not approve of - however, when people loathe themselves, they tend not to be in a good place to prosper. When you're feeling low, it's important to get strategic - make yourself a plan. That might include getting accountability software or putting a photo of a loved on on your computer, to remind you of something wholesome, joining a group with a common interest, starting to talk to someone about the background issues you might not be tackling by using porn etc.
As you say, God forgives. Even though we cannot comprehend how amazing this is, we simply have to take it on faith that it is true. His grace is abundant and it sounds like you're not abusing it, as you are genuinely trying to become free.
How is your prayer life? That would be a great place to start.

 

[DChristian]

You should never forget and always remember and focus on the Truth that God loves you so much.
Even when you fall, His love for you never changes.
He has already forgiven you.
He promised He would not hold our sin against us.
The most important thing you need to do as soon as possible after falling is to run to Him and thank Him that He has already forgiven you.
It won't be long and you will be running to Him before you fall.

This worked for me. I was heavily addicted to child porn. I spent almost 5 years in prison.
Shortly after I was locked up I gave my life to Christ. Even after I got out I still had these desires. It was deeply rooted in me. But learning how much God loved me and approved of me despite my failures was a huge help in breaking the addiction.
Another thing that will help is if you get an accountability partner. Someone you trust so you can tell your story and they can pray with you.

Hello Doug. I would like to talk to you about your porn addiction and how you overcame it. I am a new member here and cannot initiate conversations. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to talk to you about your experience and how God gave you the grace to overcome your problems. Regards. D.

 

[CowardlyLion]

I am also struggling with Porn Addiction and the pain the betrayal has caused my spouse. In my recovery, I have found God and understood that I cannot recover from this addiction without His help. The biggest thing that has helped me was joining an in-person 12-step group for sex addicts. A lot of people who struggle with pornography have a stigma against the term "sex addict" but most people in the program struggle solely with pornography. The truth is, you do need God and prayer. There is no way to succeed against this addiction without God. But there is strength in numbers. I am over 3 months sober from pornography and masturbation. I have been able to completely abstain. The biggest thing is taking it one day at a time. Say to yourself "I will not use porn today." just for one day. Don't think "I will never use porn again."
For one day. You can do one day. And then wake up the next day. And maybe try again. Just one day. One day at a time.

Here are a few resources. I would suggest trying a phone meeting. Just call in and listen. You don't even need to talk and no one will know you are there if you don't want them to. It is immeasurably helpful.

https://saa-recovery.org/

Telemeeting:
https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/telemeetings/
The one I personally use - http://www.ajourneytohopesaa.org/

 

[Brotherly Spirit]

All addictions are habitual and reinforced by mindset. Addressing these two things were helpful for me and it took time to change both. What I struggled most with was lust and boredom; it was changing how I thought about people and sex plus having something better and productive to do, that made the difference.

It's always said the answer is God, but actually think about it; it's about putting him and others first, which takes you away from being self-centered. Lust is what you think sexually for yourself and boredom is the time you have for yourself. If more consideration was had when thinking about sex and spending time for people and things other than yourself, it certainly would change your mindset and habits.

There's more to it than you or the addiction, not only the problem but the solution too. Just look outside yourself relying on God and others for support, and find things that bring more value to your life.

 

[salt-n-light]

There’s a movie called The Heart of Man, I suggest you watch it.

Also, I heard a Christian counselor say once that if you are fighting an addiction, everytime you get an urge get a piece of paper and start writing whats going on on your mind. To do it for a few minutes. If you still feel the need to do what you wanted to do, to go ahead and do it, but that most likely the urge will go away.

Wish you the best!

Hey thats what I do! It does work, it forces me to step back and evaluate

 

[jchaudoir36]

I once saw a drummer on t.v. wearing a t-shirt. The t-shirt said Porn Destroys Love. So there are people out there that do not embrace porn at all. Its something that I am trying to overcome as well. Another reason I joined this forum. I need God everyday and sadly I got interested in porn a long time ago when I was a teenager.

What I have come to realize is that porn is not only addictive ..its like a parasite. It takes over its host "you" and tricks your pleasure sense but it never satisfies you. It creates more greed and more selfishness and it of course devalues people in general. We are people ….not "objects" ..which is the other thing sexual "objectification." Porn devalues intimacy.

So, (back when I was a teen) I've actually seen stuff from Cinemax or other cable networks with X-rated episodes claiming that porn brings girlfriends and boyfriends or husbands and wives closer together ...or at least the actors and actresses were trying to convey that message. I watched the episode out of curiosity. And this was a long time ago back in the early 90s.

Since then and the internet revolution there have been a multitude of forums, many of which seem to be brainwashing people into thinking that porn is normal and cool. I pray for myself and other people. They don't know that they are victims to something that is stealing their livelihood.

There are so many worthwhile things people could be doing rather than spending hours looking over porn.

A body is a husk. It is temporary. A mind cannot exist without the body ...just as the body cannot exist without the mind. But we are spiritual beings living a human experience. I think we should place more value on the human condition rather than the opposite. We glorify God when we restrain sinful impulses and do something that is pleasing to the Lord in its place. That is why we have music, art, poetry ...so many hobbies and outlets that are meritorious.

 

[Prepper Pete]

"17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." Romans 7:17-20 ESV

So what does it mean that "sin dwells within me"?

If you're like me, this isn't an obvious or easy answer because sin isn't a "thing", and it is difficult to understand then what is it then that dwells within me. The only answer that makes sense is that rather than it (a thing), perhaps it is more like a spiritual parasite, some might call it a demon metaphorically or physically. Metaphorically would be that there is something deeper at play within you than it being a simple act, a habit if you will, that you are finding it rather difficult to break. Physically, it can be that somehow and somewhere in your past that you left the door open, and a demon came in. Not knowing enough about you and which it might be, I would start with the metaphorical version.

It isn't unnatural to desire a person and to have lust towards them. It is unnatural, meaning contrary to how God made you, to lust after something or someone with pictures or videos because it is not a person that you are in love with, but the idea what a person is like that has it's hook in you. The fact that you are viewing pronography, but involved in a physical relationship with a person, means that you are attracted to something in particular that for whatever reason, you are unable to make come true, or perhaps even want to come true.

My advice is to focus on real people, not images. Think of it as the difference between following Jesus and his teachings (that a real person actually gave to us), or an idol fashioned after the image of something that exists only in one's mind. So if it in fact idolatry, what do you do about that? Answer, put aside the counterfeit that isn't real and replace the counterfeit with the true version of the counterfeit.

If you make it real instead of it being a struggle that only exists on your head, you will find that whoever it is that you have focused your time, attention and affections with is more than a thing that you can simply act out with in your mind, but a person who has feelings and desires that demand your attention and reaction to. In other words it is the reality of what it's like to be in love with someone who loves you back, and that is a lot of work to put it mildly.

I would go so afar as to say that if you devoted the time, energy and attention to a real relationship with a real person that really cared about to the point of being in love, that you would find little time or inclination to spend on the counterfeit idol in your heart.

If you are then in a relationship and do it the right way, waiting until marriage before having sex specifically, you will find plenty of good and natural feelings of sexual desire that leave little room for anything else as the object of your desire and dare I say "Godly" desire that God made you to have.

 

[CowardlyLion]

I once saw a drummer on t.v. wearing a t-shirt. The t-shirt said Porn Destroys Love. So there are people out there that do not embrace porn at all. Its something that I am trying to overcome as well. Another reason I joined this forum. I need God everyday and sadly I got interested in porn a long time ago when I was a teenager.

What I have come to realize is that porn is not only addictive ..its like a parasite. It takes over its host "you" and tricks your pleasure sense but it never satisfies you. It creates more greed and more selfishness and it of course devalues people in general. We are people ….not "objects" ..which is the other thing sexual "objectification." Porn devalues intimacy.

So, (back when I was a teen) I've actually seen stuff from Cinemax or other cable networks with X-rated episodes claiming that porn brings girlfriends and boyfriends or husbands and wives closer together ...or at least the actors and actresses were trying to convey that message. I watched the episode out of curiosity. And this was a long time ago back in the early 90s.

Since then and the internet revolution there have been a multitude of forums, many of which seem to be brainwashing people into thinking that porn is normal and cool. I pray for myself and other people. They don't know that they are victims to something that is stealing their livelihood.

There are so many worthwhile things people could be doing rather than spending hours looking over porn.

A body is a husk. It is temporary. A mind cannot exist without the body ...just as the body cannot exist without the mind. But we are spiritual beings living a human experience. I think we should place more value on the human condition rather than the opposite. We glorify God when we restrain sinful impulses and do something that is pleasing to the Lord in its place. That is why we have music, art, poetry ...so many hobbies and outlets that are meritorious.

Slightly off-topic, but who was the drummer wearing the shirt, if you recall? It would mean a lot to me to know people like that out there. Using their platform for good.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

.

 

[SergePB]

One thing to consider is that addictions tend to create a tolerance and that the material you first see soon becomes "boring" and you seek out more hard core porn to get the same thrill. Been there done that and wish I had a better answer, as I struggle too. You may consider too though, the next time you look at it, follow it to it's logical conclusion - what if what you see on screen is not enough and the lust drives you to do something worse? Turn the fantasy into a nightmare.