I thought that this would get easier as the kids got older and needed me less. I think that at times it actually is harder. If he had lived, they both would have gone to 4 year colleges. I just don't have the time to help figure out how to get the financing to go to 4 year colleges, so they are both living at home and starting at the community college. I work hard and can pay their whole bill at this time so they can focus on school and aren't building up huge school loans. They both say they are happy staying at home a bit longer and I do believe that they need each other more because of their dad dying. But sometime I get depressed and wonder if this is just one more thing they are being cheated out of. The plus side is that both are carrying 4.0s or close to 4.0s so they stand a good chance of getting some good scholarships when they do move on to the 4 year school to finish their degrees. I wasn't supposed to have to do this alone.....I feel so ill prepared to do this alone.
